"Mom…" I stuttered.
"Sit." The firm order was enough to make me not argue about the fact that I was only tying a towel and would definitely need clothes.
I occupied the sofa opposite her, trying not to shiver to death from fear. I knew those looks in her eyes, and I did not like them, not one bit. I had done wrong, keeping away this secret all these years from her. Knowing when she defended, how much she lost in the process.
I wanted to beg. To plead for mercy, but I could not. I was too jumbled by nerves and regret to say anything, it was as though my mouth was locked shut. I was unable to talk.
"When did you discover your wolf?" Mom was not her usual playful self as she had been that morning, she looked very angry and ready to devour. I moved a bit to be away from her. Mom could be vicious when she wanted to.
I licked my dry lips nervously. "I.. Uhm… since I was sixteen."
Her eyes darkened and hardened more. Disappointment flickered with anger. "You discovered your wolf at age sixteen, yet you decided to keep away from me?!"
"Mom… I-I'm s-sorry." Tears welled now. Regret hugged tight, alongside sadness.
"Sorry?!" She bellowed. "Sorry?!" She stood and paced my room angrily. "What are you sorry for, Katherina? What are you sorry for?! I stood up for you all the time. I almost left David because of you. No man…" Her lips trembled as tears filled her eyes.
I went closer still clad in my towel. "I-I'm s-sorry. Mom, please."
"Don't touch me!" She growled
I jolted out of her way. My heart beat furiously, regret shook the whole core of my being.
"No man talked to me in our old pack because of you. We struggled to eat, to survive, Katherina! We went hungry on some days because no one would sell anything to us, yet you decided to keep your wolf in." She ranted, her eyes were glossy.
"Mom.. p-please." I begged. She would not understand, but I did not know if what I had done was justifiable. Looking at her now, I knew it was not.
No matter what, I should not had done that. Was it too late to make amends? Mom was really angry with me and truth be told, she had sacrificed everything for me just so I could be happy. Whatever plans she had made for me, it was so I could be happy.
"Don't! You're sorry, Katherina. You're not!" She spat at me.
Fear rose, what have I done? Mom was never going to see me in the same light anymore, she would hate me all of her days. Was she going to ignore my existence? Was she going to leave me?
"But I…"
"Shut up, you lying child!" She cut me off. "You're only apologizing because you got caught today. If Beta Mark had not called the Alpha and I, would you have told me?" She stared at me, waiting. Expecting a reply. "Would you?!"
"N-no." My voice had gone weak and defeated. It was true. If Katelyn had not made me lose control over my wolf, I would not have said anything to anyone, especially not to mom.
"So what's the apology for? What's the essence of your apology?" She cut me a very cold glare.
I could not utter a word, I could only cry. Could only tremble as her voice kept falling and rising in anger and disappointment. I had no choice but to stand there and find a way to apologize to her.
"So you enjoyed it all, huh? You enjoyed the suffering you put us through, you enjoyed seeing people mock us, laugh at me. Katherina, people told me I was a whore and because of the life I'd lived, that's why the Moon Goddess refused to bless me with a mate and cursed me with a wolf-less child. Oh Mother of the Moon!" She exclaimed as the tears fell out of her eyes.
I had never seen mom cry, she was always a strong woman. She had never told me about this. I never knew people said such words to her. I always knew people had said some words to her but she did not talk about them, she would put on a smile for my sake.
Guilt hit me like a bullet - fast and piercingly painful. If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would. I would turn back and let her know I had a wolf. Now, it seemed like it was a bit too late for that.
"Katherina, I am disappointed. All the love I had for you, the trust. Yet, you never had any for me. You never loved me, you never trusted me."
"Mom, you kno…"
"Don't you dare, Katherina," she gritted. "I was willing to lay down my life for you because you're mine, but this is what I get from you. Lies and secrets." She wiped her eyes. She looked at me a while longer. "If anyone had told me my own daughter would do this, I'd have fought that person with everything I'd got. But well, you've proven you can do this and even worse."
Giving me a disappointed, angry once-over, she proceeded to leave my room.
"No, mom. Don't leave." I quickly ran to my closet and picked any shorts I could find, put it on and a shirt. I ran out after her. "Mom, please."
"Don't touch me!" She pulled away from me.
By now maids and guards were paying attention to us, the boys had come out. Even dad stood a bit far from us, he looked at me but did not say anything. I would beg him later, I knew he would be disappointed too.
"Mom, please don't do this. Please." I tried to hold her, but she snatched her arm out of mine.
Then she whirled on me. "Were you ever sick, Katherina?"
"W-what?" I moved back a bit, her eyes were scaring me.
"Those times you would claim to be sick, were you sick?"
Oh no, the day of my reckoning was here.