Chapter 53: The past of us

I hesitated for a moment before I got the courage to push further and ask, “What do you mean you don’t have one?”

He sighed and then placed a hand on his face as he contemplated deeply.

“I’m not sure how to describe it exactly… but I guess you can say that my siblings and I weren’t really born. We didn’t start off as cute little babies and develop into full grown adults. We’ve always been this way.”

I couldn’t help but become feverishly confused and surprised. The norm and natural order of life started with birth and developed to maturity with growth. But what Nicholas was telling me was completely unheard of and completely unnatural. Then again, the lycan kings and queens had always been anomalies.

“So… where did you come from?” I asked curiously.

“Each of us come from different places. I came from the sky. A humble cloud brought to life with Zues’s lightning. Theo was made from fragments of lost and broken souls which were fused together into a single, individual person. Nikita was made from a pearl and brought to life by the ancient life-giving water of the seas. Aura came from a slowly dying ember from the warmth of a fire almost completely smothered out. And Griffen was a statue, crafted a long time ago, given life by Athena who had a soft spot for the creator of the statue. Each of us were created from something almost insignificant and given bodies of flesh and bone and real souls.”

I sat there completely silent and awed. Yet, it all seemed to make so much of sense and it got me to understand why the lycan siblings were the way they were. They hadn’t had a chance to develop and learn and grow the way we all did. They were thrown into a war and expected to fix it, knowing nothing about this world or its people. And although I understood, I also knew that it could in no way excuse what they’d done and what they’d allowed to happen under their rule. It was then that I knew what I’d need to do in order to counteract Dante and his rebellion. Though I doubted it be as effective as his own revenge driven forces, it would do enough to settle the waters for the time being.

“Are you… weirded out?” Nicholas asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head and gave him a reassuring smile, “It’s kind of hard to believe, but I’m definitely not weirded out.”

His eyes were nervous for a moment, searching mine desperately until I placed my hand on his and rubbed my thumb against his skin. That seemed to calm him down slightly and he smiled and then asked, “So, when is your birthday?”

“April seventeenth.” I said, thinking fondly on the birthday’s I’d had in the past, “Ophelia would always celebrate it. She’d buy me a cake and a few gifts, and we’d sing awkwardly and blow out candles. She’d always buy the type that never blew out the first time.”

“I have been meaning to ask, and please feel free to refuse to answer this if it makes you feel uncomfortable,” he said, slightly cautiously, “but how did you and your brother end up in the care of Ophelia.”

I remember him having asked me this in the beginning of our relationship. And although I hadn’t at all been willing to recount nor divulge the details of my past, this time felt different. This time I didn’t feel like I was about to hyperventilate and crumble to the floor. Perhaps it was that kind, soft look in his eyes or the way his hand had wrapped around mine.

I gave out a long sigh and then began to recollect the events that had led me to Ophelia.

“When Kiyan and I were younger, our family was murdered by a group of lycan elitists who’d gone out hunting humans for sport. We were kept hidden and waited the whole thing out. But every second of it was agony. We could hear their screams of terror and pain and the sick, sadistic laughter of the lycans who killed them. When the noise had died down, Kiyan and I were left with a house scattered in body parts and pools of blood. After that, we lived on the streets for a while… until we were captured and sent to the servant market. That’s when we were bought by Mr and Mrs Harrison.”

I paused momentarily, a flash of gruesome images made its way into my mind and I shivered in absolute disgust

“You don’t have to continue—”

“I want to…” I said, adamant on finally facing it. I took a few moments to collect myself and then continued, “Mr and Mrs Harrison were vile. They were cruel and abusive to their servants but they also occasionally… ate them.” I could hear Nicholas gasp and his eyes widened in complete disgust and terror. “Luckily for Kiyan and I, they weren’t fond of children meat. And so they kept us alive so we could cook and clean for them. Then one day, in stumbles Ophelia. She’d been travelling for a while and came in hoping for a glass of water. They hid us in the closet, adamant on keeping our malnourished, unsightly selves from their prestigious guest. But Kiyan was terrified of enclosed spaces and so I broke open the door. Out stumbles Kiyan, crying his lungs out. Mr Harrison was completely enraged by him and tried to strike him. But I jumped in his way, trying my best to protect my brother. That just made him angrier, and he grabbed me by the throat. I thought that would be the end for me, but then his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he collapsed to the floor. Ophelia had pulled out his spinal cord. Mrs Harrison went ballistic, and she tried to attack Ophelia. But Ophelia was too quick and too agile, and she was no match for her. Initially, I thought Ophelia would kill us too. But she wiped her hands clean of the blood and reached out to us. I don’t know why, but something inside of me told me to trust her. And so, I did. From that day onwards, she took us in. When I asked her why, she told me it was because of my courage and my determination to keep my brother safe. But I have always suspected that perhaps she was also a little lonely.”

There was a long moment of silence between us. I suspected Nicholas wasn’t quite sure how to respond to what I had just told him. I was partly right, but to my surprise, he had tears rolling down his cheeks.

That’s when I felt something cool and wet against my cheek. I looked up at the sky, and the sun had disappeared, and the blue and white colours had faded into nothing but a dull grey. It was drizzling.

“I am so sorry… I had no idea… fuck… I’ve been such a stupid idiot! Such a fool!” he whispered before grabbing me and pulling me towards his body. I too had started to cry, and I buried my face in his shoulder. As I cried, all I heard was him apologising profusely through his own tears.

Slowly we pulled away from each other, faces wet with tears and the soft drizzling of the clouds above us. Nicholas gazed up at the sky for a moment and slowly the clouds started to dissipate. But his eyes stayed stormy and apologetic.

“I wish… I could have done more for you. I wish I wasn’t so damn self-absorbed. If I’d continued to fight and put an end to all of this, you would have never ended up in that situation.”

I shrugged, wiping my face and saying, “Maybe. But there’s no use staying stuck on what you could have done. All we can focus on now is what you are prepared to do to fix it,” I said softly.

He nodded in agreement and apologised one last time. I felt a little lighter though. It had been the first time in a long while that I’d actually spoken about my past and I felt good about having shared it with Nicholas. We stayed embraced for a while, both unable to let go of the warmth and comfort.

When we did finally part from our hug, Nicholas gazed into my eyes, sincerity all over his, and said, “I promise you, I will fix what we’ve done. Even if it means humiliating myself over and over again. If it’s for you, it will all be worth it,” he said softly.

And I don’t know why, but in that moment, I asked, “How far would you go for me?”

He smirked and an intense look overtook his grey eyes.

“So far it should scare you. There’s no line I wouldn’t cross, no depth I wouldn’t stoop to. If it’s for you, there’s no limit to what I can do.”

He’d leaned in now, his lips barely grazing against mine. There was a change in the air between us. It was heavier, warmer and it seemed to infiltrate all of my senses. And as his lips finally touched mine, the sexual tension between us only seemed to completely escalate to a level it had never been on before.