Chapter 97 ~Goodbye~
(Fiona's POV)
The cool autumn wind swept through my hair as I walked toward the front lawn.
The moon sat idly in the night sky.
I cursed, wishing I had worn something other than a halter-neck top and jeans.
I knocked on the door twice before it creaked open revealing my stepdad, wearing his reading glasses. He must have been writing one of his comic books.
“Hey Kiddo.” His lips pulled in a thin smile. “Did you change your mind?”
“I…” I opened my mouth to speak but there was a tight knot in my throat that blocked the words.
“Come in.” He opened the door wide. “I'll microwave dinner and make a cup of hot cocoa, just the way you like it.”
I nodded quietly.
I wrapped myself in my favorite blankie. The seams were already getting loose from constant use. I watched as he brought in my boxes from the trunk one after the other.
The silence was the only solace I needed—the only time I could take a breather.
I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting on the sofa, buried in the soft cotton material, staring at the old pendulum clock hanging on the wall.
“I was pregnant and I lost it.” I blurted out, more to myself than him. “I was exiled from Silvereign.”
Dad stopped moving the boxes, his eyebrows knotting in confusion before slowly relaxing in understanding.
“Xander has a child.” My voice croaked. “A child with blue eyes that looks just like his.”
I didn't know I was crying until he pulled me into a hug. His hands patted my hair. It felt comforting.
I ate dinner in silence, but I didn't drink hot cocoa for some reason.
—------------
The door to my room creaked open, and my eyes snapped instantly. It was morning.
“Fiona.” Dad was standing by my door.
The sunlight seeped through a gap in the blinds, casting a golden hue that illuminated the room.
“He's here.”
“Who?” I asked even though I knew already.
“Xander.”
After dad left, I ran an ice-cold bath, staying in the shower longer than necessary. I wanted to do anything to delay this, but it was inevitable.
This was the end of us.
I threw on a cardigan and sweatpants. My cheeks were puffy, and my eyes were red from crying.
I snatched the document from the desk, the one I'd spent all night working on.
When I arrived in the living room, Xander was standing by the door, leaving me wondering how long he had stood there.
“Fiona, we need to talk.” His hands were tucked in his pockets and for the first time, I noticed dark circles around his eyes.
Maybe he was suffering as much as I was, but it wouldn't change a thing.
I pointed to the sofa, feigning nonchalance.
“No… Not here.” He said. “Come with me somewhere.”
“Sure,” I muttered and walked out the door.
I was sure he was surprised that I didn't push back or fight. I was done fighting.
The drive was the most silent drive I'd ever had. Before we pulled in, I knew we were heading to NorthVale.
As we stepped in, I took note of how post-apocalyptic the scenery looked. It was chilling.
He was going towards the ice rink, I followed a few feet behind, trying not to get triggered by the memory of Prom.
We stopped by the empty bleachers and took a seat. I could feel the frosty wind that carried his cologne to me.
“Do you remember,” Xander broke the silence. “This was the first place we met.”
Of course I did, how could I forget something so monumental?
“You were here…” Xander pointed to the left. “Crying. And I remember thinking, ‘Damn, that is the most beautiful crying face I've seen in my life’.”
I looked away, not from shyness but from avoidance.
“I didn't know what the crazy feelings I was feeling were, or why Theon kept yelling ‘mate’ in my head.” He chuckled bitterly. “I remember telling Matt afterwards that I had fallen in love. Of course, he teased me for weeks. I thought I'd never see you again, but I did.”
“Xander, why are you telling me all of this?” I resisted the urge to add ‘when you're supposed to be with your son.’
He looked close to tears. “Because, never for once did my feelings for you change.”
“Great way of showing that,” I muttered under my breath.
“Fiona, I love you.” His voice rose a little higher and his eyes blazed. “I love you with every fiber of my being.”
“Sometimes, love is never enough,” I said and the words hurt me more than I expected. “Love can neither erase your past nor my future. Love can't make duty disappear.”
“I can't do life without you.” His voice was lowered.
“Well…” The tears were this close to spilling out. “You will learn to.”
“I can leave it all for you. Dakota, the child, Silvereign, werewolf academy… I can leave them all for you,” he said.
“You brought that child into this world and you must take care of him as a parent. Mine couldn't, not out of choice, and yet it broke me, so no. That's never going to happen- at least not with my support.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “Wake up, Xander! We. Were. Never. Meant. To. Be.”
A hurt look flashed in his eyes. “So you're not willing to fight for us.”
“There is no more ‘fight’ left in me. Not for us, and not even for me.” I shrugged. “I've lost it.”
“That's your decision?” his eyes dropped. “That's it?”
I nodded firmly. “That's it. We're done, and this time, for good.”
I brought out the document that I came with and handed it over to him.
His brows furrowed as his eyes scanned over the words. “A Mating Contract Termination?”
He scoffed, a sound between a laugh and a cry. “That's all this was to you—a mating contract?”
“No.” I stared at him. “A fake mate contract. My fake contract.”
He might have staggered back a bit, or maybe I imagined it.
I crossed my arms, looking away so I would not change my mind or show weakness.
I remembered all the good times we had, the fights, the way we made love, our make-ups. Everything with Xander was a rollercoaster journey I'd never forget.
They say your life flashes before your eyes moments before it ends. Now our love flashed before my eyes… like a Polaroid of misery.
“Sign it, Xander,” I said, staring at him.
There was a moment of silence.
Then I tossed a pen at him. “I don't have all day.”
He exhaled softly, and without a word, signed it.
“What we had,” he couldn't help but ask. “Was it ever real to you?”
“What do you think?”
Silence.
“If you can, say goodbye to me,” I said. “To my friends from Silvereign. Tell them that I'll see them again someday.”
I walked out before I could change my mind.