Chapter 73 ~Broken~
(Xander's POV)
I stood beside her hospital bed, fear clawing at my throat. She looked more like her mother than ever.
Pale and fragile.
The doctors had been trying to convince me for the past seventy-two hours that she was still alive, but I still couldn't silence my fears.
Grief had wrapped itself around my throat since I walked in here to see her unconscious.
I had prayed to the gods, I hadn't slept a wink, I'd cut myself… I'd blamed myself for not being here to hold her hands when she passed out.
I just couldn't understand what was happening.
The doctors said she was still breathing - it was faint, but it was there.
The shamans said she was in a spiritual battle of some sort.
I’d called Maelis here last night, and she stayed all night with Fiona and I. She burned incense, brought potions and said ancestral incantations.
She said Fiona was in another realm but would return, eventually. She'd assured me everything would be okay, but I was still worried.
My eyes were unfocused.
I saw her fingers twitch a little. I held onto her hand as hope surged within me.
‘Wake up,’ I whispered, prayer tangled in the words as I held her hands in mine.
I could feel her temperature drop to an almost freezing point. She looked deathly pale.
I was conflicted on whether or not to call the doctors. But I decided otherwise, in case something weird happened.
I could see her mumbling words, incoherent, distorted words. Her brows were creased deeply, and she shook her head from side to side.
She was in the middle of what looked like an internal battle.
I took a short walk to the hospital door and locked it in case she shifted or something supernatural happened.
It was a wise decision because as soon as I did, she began screaming and getting violent on the bed, still unconscious.
She kept repeating one word. “No. No. No.”
I held her hands but almost dropped them. They were hot, too hot.
Her body temperature had gone from freezing to fever-hot.
The heat burnt my hands, but I still held onto her hands. I would not let go.
She was screaming.
I could hear the doctors and nurses by the door banging and questioning. “Is everything okay in there?” “Open the door.”
Her screams turned banshee-like. She looked like an otherworldly creature.
I could see a glowing crescent shape appear on her neck. It looked painful, as if carved into her skin with a blade fresh from fire.
The moon shape was drawing itself, tearing through her skin. Her pain struck me like a physical blow. I didn't know what to do, I wished I could take some for myself.
“Come on, Fiona.” I whispered.
Suddenly, she went quiet and limp. No pulse, no breathing.
I held my breath.
Was she…
No.
No.
No!
Suddenly her eyes flashed open.
And I felt life return to me again. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
She stayed like that for a while. Then I saw a thin strand of tear fall from her eyes.
She sat up in the hospital bed and buried her hands in her palms. The sobs were wrecking, painful, guttural.
She looked like she was carrying a pain greater than anyone should bear.
I held onto her and patted her back as she cried into my chest.
“I lost. I lost. I thought I was right… but I wasn't. I wasn-” She screamed and cried.
“Shh,” I whispered into her ears. “It's okay.”
In that instant, someone kicked open the doors to the room. The medical personnel all began flooding into the room.
I didn't turn back. Neither of us did.
We were tucked into each other's embrace. Fiona hurting, me comforting.
Then, one by one, they began to leave the room. They must have known that whatever was happening, it wasn't something they could help with.
“Everything is going to be just fine.” I whispered to her.
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(Fiona's POV)
I don't know how many hours it's been since I came to. And I honestly didn't bother to check.
I was no longer crying - but was still incredibly hollow.
The doctors had checked my vitals.
Xander had been nothing but helpful. He'd fed me, encouraged me and soothed me. If he wasn't here, I don't know what I'd have done.
But I was ready to speak. “I went through a test.”
He looked up from the laundered clothes he was folding together. He wore a down-turned smile. “Listen, you don't have to talk about it.”
“No. I want to.” I needed to.
He came and sat by my bedside.
“I am… I was a Tribrid.”
“Was?” He looked confused.
I nodded.
“Human, werewolf and Lycan. I had to be tested to get full control of my powers.” I remembered the last test…
I blinked fast to stop the tears. “I saw my father - If you would call it that. A Lycan. He sexually abused my mother, that was what caused her present state.”
He didn't look surprised at this revelation. “I know. Your stepdad told me about that. I just didn't know it was a Lycan. I'm sorry you had to find out like this.”
I continued. “Um… I was to go through three tests and I failed the last one. I wanted to save my mother. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Xander looked deep into my eyes. “You lost a test, so what? That doesn't define you.”
I almost laughed. It most definitely did define me.
I would never get to save my mother.
“You don't understand. Xander, I am no longer a Tribrid. I am completely powerless and weak now.” Saying the words felt heavy on my tongue. But there was no need lying to myself. “No wolf. Nothing. I'm more or less a human now.”
He seemed to be realising the gravity of the situation now.
“That's fine. You can still come with me. We'll go to the academy together.”
I almost screamed. “Are you not hearing me? I'm nothing! Nothing!” “I can't get admission into the academy because no one would admit a loser, wolfless, excuse of a Luna!”
A look of hurt passed through his face. “You're neither of these things.”
This time I did laugh. A humorless, bitter laugh.
“Okay. You don't have to come to werewolf academy. I'll not go. I'll stay back with you.” he said.
I buried my face in my palms.
What would Edgar say? The council? The pack?
He couldn't forfeit everything for me. He just couldn't.
Not now, when I'd lost everything.
I closed my eyes as I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life.
He was still talking about the things we'd do, the places we'd see…
I listened, knowing fully well that in a few months time, I'd disappear.
I was nothing but a liability to everyone.
I would leave Xander, I would leave the pack… everything I knew.
But I couldn't tell him now.
Not now.