Chapter 11 Go
Kael
My blood boiled so hard I could hear it roaring in my ears. Before I knew it, I had crossed the room. My hand gripped Rowan’s shirt, and I lifted him off the ground like he weighed nothing. His feet dangled, and his eyes widened in surprise.
“What is this?” I growled.
“Father—” he started, but I cut him mid sentence.
“I asked what the hell is this?”
For a moment, silence filled the room. Lira stood still beside the bed, her hands trembling at her sides. She couldn’t even look at me. The sight of her in that thin nightdress made my wolf lose it completely. My jaw clenched so tight, it hurt.
Rowan’s mouth opened and closed. I could see the fear and defiance mixing in his eyes. He hated being manhandled, but I didn’t care. I didn’t even realize how strong my grip was until I saw the red marks on his collarbone. My mind screamed at me to calm down, but my wolf wanted to tear him apart.
Then I caught myself. My hands loosened. I realized what I was doing. I dropped him back down, taking a step back. Rowan stumbled but quickly straightened, his pride keeping him from rubbing his neck.
“What is she doing here?” I asked again, this time quieter, though my voice still carried that dangerous edge.
Rowan shrugged, trying to play it cool. “It’s nothing,” he said casually, brushing off his shirt. “We were just… playing a little bedtime game. Nothing serious.”
A game.
He said it like it was nothing, like she was nothing.
My fingers twitched. Every part of me wanted to slam him back against the wall and remind him who he was talking to, but I couldn’t. I had already lost control once tonight. I couldn’t afford to do it again.
I looked at Lira. She was avoiding my gaze, staring down at her hands like a guilty child.
“Is that true?” I asked her.
She hesitated for a second, then nodded slowly. “Yes, Alpha. It’s true. We were just playing.”
The way she said “Alpha” wrought a terrible feeling in my gut, she sounded detached. Like she had suddenly built a wall between us.
I didn’t push. I couldn’t. “You can go,” I said finally.
She nodded again, still not looking at me. She turned and hurried out of the room, her quick footsteps fading down the hall. The scent she left behind lingered long after she was gone, stirring my wolf with desire once more.
I wanted to go after her, to check if she was alright, but I forced myself not to move. I’d already gone too far. One more step and there’d be no turning back.
The moment she disappeared, Rowan scoffed. “What’s your problem?”
I turned sharply to face him. “What did you just say?”
He folded his arms, trying to act brave. “You’re acting like she’s some delicate thing. She’s not even your real daughter. So why do you care so much?”
The audacity in his tone almost made me laugh, almost.
I took a slow step forward, watching his face pale just a little. “Anyone who lives under my roof,” I said, “is under my protection. That includes her. I don’t care who she is or isn’t to me. You will show her respect.”
Rowan scoffed again but looked away. “Whatever you say, Father.”
I didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice. I wanted to hit him again, but I stopped myself. He was still my son. Still the heir to the pack. Hurting him wouldn’t fix anything.
“Watch how you talk to me,” I warned.
He rolled his eyes. “Fine. But you’re overreacting. She came here on her own. I didn’t drag her in.”
That made me pause. “She came here?”
He nodded. “Yeah. She knocked. She looked upset. Said she couldn’t sleep. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
My heart dropped a little at that. Lira couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to imagine why.
“You didn’t think?” I repeated slowly. “You didn’t think that letting a woman, one who’s under my protection, into your room in the middle of the night might cause a problem?” The words already left my mouth before I realized how ridiculous they sounded.
He frowned. “You’re acting like I touched her.”
I stared at him for a long moment, searching his face. I could tell he was lying. Maybe not about touching her, but about how little it meant to him. Rowan was too much like me when I was his age, cocky, careless, hungry for attention.
He didn’t know how dangerous the line he was walking was.
“I’m warning you, Rowan,” I said finally. “Whatever this is, end it. Now.”
He lifted a brow. “End what? There’s nothing to end.”
I turned toward the door, ready to leave before I said something I couldn’t take back.
“Tell me something, Father,” he said suddenly.“Why do you really care so much?” he asked again. “You say it’s because she’s under your roof, but I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s not the way you look at a pack member. It’s not even the way you look at Ele—her mother.”
My whole body went still. Did he know something?
“Watch your mouth,” I said quietly.
He laughed under his breath. “Did I hit a nerve? Did—”
I didn’t let him finish. I stepped forward so fast he stumbled back. My voice came out like a growl. “You will not speak a word anymore on this matter. And you will not speak of Lira in that manner again. Do I make myself clear?”
His demeanor faltered. He swallowed hard but nodded. “Crystal.”
“Good.” I turned again and opened the door. “Go to bed, Rowan.” I said.
“And stay away from her,” this was more of a whisper to myself.
He didn’t reply. When I walked out, I could still feel his eyes on my back, filled with questions I couldn’t answer.
The hallway felt colder than before. I didn’t even realize I was shaking until I stopped by the staircase. My hands trembled slightly as I ran them through my hair. The guilt, the anger, the jealous, they all tangled together until I could barely breathe.
I started walking again, heading toward the balcony at the end of the corridor. The night air hit me in the face, cool and strong. I leaned against the railing, staring out into the forest.
From here, I could see the moonlight reflecting off the trees, the serenity of the night, reflecting both the shadow of the trees and my thoughts. I was trapped between duty and desire, between the mate bond and the vows I had already made.
My wolf growled inside me, restless. She’s ours, he whispered again.
I gritted my teeth. “She’s not.”
Then why do you ache every time she’s near? he pushed.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Because the truth was ugly. I wanted her. No matter how much I tried to deny it, my body, my wolf, and even my heart craved her.
But I couldn’t have her. Not now. Not ever.
I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. “You’re going to destroy me,” I muttered to myself.
When I got to my room, Elena was asleep. Peaceful. Untouched by the chaos swirling around me. I stared at her for a moment, then at the empty side of the bed that suddenly felt too cold.
I poured myself another drink from the small bottle I’d carried up from the cellar. The wine was bitter now, but I drank it anyway.
As I lay down, my mind refused to rest. The image of Lira in Rowan’s room played over and over again. The way her eyes darted away from mine. The way her scent clung to the air.
Rowan’s words echoed in my head.
She’s not even your real daughter.
He was right. And that was the problem.
Sleep didn’t come easily that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her again, standing in that nightdress, her hair messy, her lips parted like she wanted to speak but couldn’t.
I’d told myself to stay away. But even as I drifted into uneasy sleep, I knew I was lying to myself. Because no matter how far I ran, no matter how much I drank, she was always there.
And it was only a matter of time before I broke again.