Chapter 95 – A Beautiful Lie

What a cruel way to continue the story.

Sometimes I feel like I can understand it. These events and circumstances are necessary, although sometimes inexplicable. Sometimes harsh. Sometimes painful.

Why?

No, no... I take it back. It isn't my place to know. I'd like to... but I can't. Can't ask, can't question.

I won't get an answer anyways.

Purpose is cruel. A beast that robs you of your natural identity and aspirations and places you on a different path that continues in a straight line, always moving never stopping running stop take a breath no don't do it stand up keep running or else you'll know.

Sometimes I feel like I'm about to shatter. Hit the ground so hard that my face splinters and my fingers crumble and my chest explodes and then I realize, it's already happened.

And so it can happen, again and again and again, without any relief, because why? Because I'm dead! Dead then, dead now, dead forever and always.

And there's no difference anyways because

Life is a lie. A beautiful lie. A lie that curves, diverts from the main road and detours by the rocky cliffs, crystal oceans, and pink-stained sunsets. It can move backwards and forwards, sideways and diagonally, every which way, but the truth is the lie is an illusion.

Don't be fooled! There is only one direction. There is only one choice. So make a decision. There is the choice to be, and the choice to be. Take your pick.

The end. 

"Elena! Elena! What's wrong?"

I feel someone violently shaking my shoulders, and my eyes immediately fly open just as my head hits the front of the tree.

"Ouch!" I squeal, my hand reaching up to rub where it had been hit.

Blake is in front of me, his face only inches away. My eyes widen at his proximity, and my first instinct is to look away, only to feel guilty for doing so a few seconds later. He's just looking out for me.

"What Blake..." I murmur, still confused by what was happening.

"You were shaking just a few seconds ago, almost like you were having a seizure," Blake says worriedly, his hand rubbing down the side of my arm. My skin burns with his touch, the heat spreading throughout my body.

"I don't know..." I reply, moving my hand to rub at my temples. My forehead throbs, each moment bringing a new wave of pain that is quickly increasing in intensity.

"Were you having a bad dream?" He asks, his eyes immediately gravitating to where my hands are located.

I wince as pain like a sharp blade pierces my head. "Maybe so... I'm not really sure," I groan, my mind growing hazy. "It was so strange... I thought I heard someone... crying, or talking, or maybe both. I'm not sure."

His grip tightens on my arm. "Well, forget about that." He shakes his head anxiously, "how are you feeling? You look absolutely terrible."

"Thanks," I grin, looking up at him briefly with a mischievous expression. "I appreciate that."

"You know that's not what I meant." Blake sighs, making me laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just have a headache, that's all."

"It must be pretty bad for you to be groaning like that." He leans in, and gently presses his forehead to mine.

"W-what are you doing?!" I ask him nervously, leaning back subconsciously. I can see him grin out of the corner of my eye. He's enjoying putting me on edge, which is a clear indicator that he is back to normal.

"Yes, what have you guys been doing?" A new, deep voice echoes throughout the area, and we both jump. Turning towards the source, we both see James, who is staring at us suggestively. His smirk makes me blush.

"How the crap..." I mutter, looking around quickly to see if any of the others came with him. If it was Lee, I'd understand, but I should have been able to notice James as he snuck up on us. "Sneaky devil."

James raises an eyebrow at me, unable to hide a broad grin as he catches my words. I realize, all too late, that my statement probably just made things worse.

"Checking her temperature," Blake replies nonchalantly, adapting quickly to the shock of his sudden presence. I marvel at the way he can change his attitude so quickly.

"No, I don't mean now... I mean the last several hours you guys have been out here together." He winks and leans on a nearby tree, in a perfect display of reticence that only makes me more nervous.

"Nothing, James... drop it." Blake says, standing up slowly and then extending his hand towards mine. I look at James and then take Blake's hand, letting him pull me up. I don't even care about the impression we are probably giving off right now.

"Well, I'm glad that you guys had an entertaining evening," James says so flippantly that I wonder at its authenticity.

"But we need to talk. As a group. It's been almost two days and we haven't decided on anything yet, which wouldn't be a problem except we left almost all of our food on the coast."

As I stand up, I mull over his words. He's right in that we need to make a decision quickly. When Blake first disappeared from the group about two hours after the attack ended, I went after him with the intention of bringing him back to camp.

We had set up about a mile from the ocean, afraid to go any closer and risk another ambush. I was healed by then, but Kurtis and Jim were more severely injured and still needed some extra care.

After they finally recovered, we were planning on voting on what our new strategy or game plan should be. If you can even call it that.

Another bout of pain causes me to unintentionally lose all strength in my legs, Blake rushing towards me to support my body in an immediate response. James stares at me, wide-eyed, as I grimace at the pins and needles stabbing at my consciousness.

"What's wrong with her?" He asks worriedly, taking a step forward to place his hand on my head. Blake brushes his hand away so quickly that it almost looks like a blur, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"I already did that," he grunted, to which James smiles and laughs mischievously.

"Okay, Tarzan. Don't be so on guard." I laugh in spite of myself at the comparison, and Blake's face turns a light shade of red, which is a pretty rare expression for him. I find myself enjoying it.

"Let's not start the Disney references," he mutters, and his face eventually regains his normal coloring as we start walking.

The forest is as silent as we are which only makes it more difficult for me to start a conversation.

"Sorry about making you come look for us," I finally apologize, and James nods in acknowledgment.

"It's okay. To be honest, no one was really bothered about your no-show. I was just curious about what could possibly be more interesting to occupy your attention than us on a beautiful night like this."

I roll my eyes at him, and then tilt my head upwards to see the same, plain gray horizon that greeted me last time I bothered to look.

"You wish," I say absent-mindedly, watching the clouds swirl together and move endlessly.

"Who knows what that means?" James replies, shooting me another Cheshire Cat grin. I almost mention that to him, but then remember that it's a Disney reference. Sort of.

We keep walking in silence, my hand burning as Blake continues to lock mine within his own. At first I didn't even notice, but now I couldn't ignore it if I tried.

At the same time, I don't even want to ignore it. I want to immerse myself in the feeling of his warmth in any way that I can.

Even the thought feels like a new, chewy candy. Although unfamiliar and strangely flavored, I can't stop myself from eating it.

It isn't too long before we reach the camp, but honestly, between my throbbing headache and Blake's overt gesture of possessiveness, it felt like an eternity.

Blake's vulnerability seems to have completely dissipated, leaving his insufferable confidence that I can't bring myself to hate.

"Blake," I whisper in his ear, "you can let go now." Standing right behind our makeshift shelter, I hurriedly attempt to shake away his arm.

"You wish." His grip tightens, leaving me more embarrassed and nervous. In any minute they are going to see us, and assume things that don't need to be assumed.

I embarrassedly look away, trying to mentally prepare myself for their reaction. Surprisingly, I feel Blake's hand leave my own after a few seconds, and I glance up at him in confusion.

"I was kidding, Elena." He smiles widely, with a hint of sadness entering his features. This one glance reminds me of the past several hours, and catches me by surprise.

"Don't be so serious." He starts walking towards Jim, the new space beside me sending a chill throughout my body.

As he leaves, the warmth leaves with him, and goose bumps erupt on my left arm.