Chapter 11 TOO CLOSE
My hand curled into the front of his shirt and I pulled and he came down slowly like a question being answered and when his lips met mine, it was nothing like the first time.
The first time had been accident and instinct and shock.
This time it was deliberate. This time it was slow and blood curling.
This was both of us knowing exactly what we were doing and doing it anyway.
He kissed me like he had been trying not to for a very long time. Like every careful managed look at me and every jaw tightening and every strategic glance at walls and rearview mirrors had been building to exactly this.
His hand moved from the mattress to my face. Careful of the bruise on my cheek and gentle in a way that made my chest ache.
I pulled him closer. He made a soft sound against my lips that undid something in me completely.
A soft sound coming from Alexander Hollander was heaven and unforgettable and I gotten that already.
"Lily...." He rasped against my lips.
"Don't stop, Alex.... Oh my god.... Don't stop." I said.
He pulled back just far enough to look at me. His grey eyes searched my face, looking for something. Hesitation maybe. A reason to be sensible.
He found neither.
His lips found my jaw, my arched throat and then, the place where his fangs had grazed, kissing it softly like he was offering an apology.
My fingers found his hair and he exhaled slowly against my sensitive skin and the careful distance he had been keeping between us dissolved completely.
The nurse's bay was small and quiet and the light was going down through the window.
His hands were warm. His mouth was everywhere and oh, so gentle that I was murmuring incoherent words and moaning and pulling him closer and arching to meet him.
And I had forgotten entirely that I had a plan. That there was a bond we didn't want and that there was a Jake waiting somewhere.
For now, all I knew was that there was only this. Only him. Only the way Alexander Hollander touched me like I was something worth being careful with.
His hands touched and acknowledged every curve and every swell and soon, I was all over like mesh.
And next was his tongue, searching and torturing every edge of my skin and making me begin to lose my hearing to the soft wails I was emitting.
Somewhere at the back of my mind, I couldn’t believe a vampire —my worst enemy and bully— was masterfully wrecking me under him and I was holding onto him, shamelessly aching and begging for more.
All I cared for and needed was where this would lead. Fast.
"Lily, I...."
My hands rebelled. They immediately had him shutting whatever he had to say off and rewarding me with his raspy cry of ecstasy.
"We can make it fast, Alex. Just...."
"I...."
"Don't fucking say NO. We hate each other, yes. That makes it even much more better. Kiss me. Now."
There was a long pause and for a moment, I feared he'd rethink and pull away.
As if a switch was suddenly snapped, he let it all go.
I had totally forgotten about the pains from the earlier assault. All I needed was this wash of pleasure that had taking ahold of me. All I needed was the wild, heightened feel of a lovemaking that would have me screaming, or at least, saying his name. Into oblivion and a hard, wild orgasm.
My hands found his waistbands, worked them loose and slipped right past, unrestrained and needy for stimulation.
I could feel him fill my palms everywhere. All clenching muscles and hardened perfection.
How? How did I see him as just a bully? Ever?
I could feel Alexander's body answer to my fingers in sync with his own inflictions on my more tender one. His teeth grazed and tortured and pleasured and my suppressed moanings spilled already.
"Sshh...." Alexander hushed slowly, refusing to let go.
When I managed to open my eyes, I found myself staring back into void and dark orbs, looking like something that should have scared me in this lonely quiet of the bay but instead, it had my blood rushing and my heartbeat thudding.
"You don't want the nurse walking in on us, do you, Lily?"
I shook my head hard, lips trembling with need for a little bit of attention and my throat giving off tight moans in the place of a reply.
Alexander's eyes had shifted into something more feral, something violent. I could see the hint of red climb into those darkening, grey orbs and oh, I needed more. I needed him out of control.
I didn't want sensible sex. I wanted something hard.... and fast.
And Alexander looked like he was ready to give it to me. Exactly like I needed and more.
His hards reached for the hem of my upridden skirts and flipped it out of the way.
The moment his fingers touched the insides of my thigh, I quivered and tightened with the ache between my legs throbbing so heavily my hips raised off he bed.
Unable to bear it, I reached to guide his hand to feel me right beneath the confines of my cotton underwear.
And for the first time.... he let me feel him instead.
My fingers wrapped around him. Hardly.
With hot sensations shooting down his spine, I watched Alexander moan softly, clasp his eyes tightly shut and squirm under my hold. I let my touch linger, my own heartbeat expressing both shock, fear and need for him to slide through and pleasure my insides all alike.
Then, he ended all the hard power play when he pushed forward and slid the bulbous head of his cock against the wet imprint of my feverish cunt.
Instantly, my hips bucked off the bed again and my tiptoes curled, frustrated gasps escaping my throat.
"Do you want a blue-balled vampire finding your spot deep inside of you? Making you squirm? Making you squirt and beg?"
"Yes, Alexander." I cried softly and pulled him by the shoulders.
"You need it. Hard and fast, huh? Deep in this wet, tight slit." He murmured.
"Just frigging do it! Please...."
Alexander paused and stared at me for a moment. I blinked, taken aback.
And under my hands, I felt his shoulders begin to relax. My heart raced.
"No." He whispered.
I blinked again, surprise piercing through the haze of maddening pleasure I'd fallen into.
"W-what do you mean?"
"You're sick and we're trying to break a bond, remember? This isn't right."
I didn't believe him at first but when he pulled away, I saw that he was in fact looking very serious and.... his eyes carried something else.... like disappointment....
I closed my eyes, trying to accommodate the immediate shock and shame that shot through me from head to toes, leaving me nearly squirming and burying myself in the folds of the bed.
Outside the window, the sky had gone deep orange.
Neither of us moved and neither of us talked about what had just happened.
This was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. This was the worst scenario I could have ever experienced with Alexander as the supporting character. Unlike every other frequent encounter. And I didn’t know how to react this time around.
When Nurse Hale finally arrived, I hurried out of the bed uncaring about her advices, shame tugging at me while I felt that taunting cold of the remnants of wetness for Alexander still sticking in between my legs.
And still, a plunging wonder remained to torment me for the rest of my days....
How had Alexander taken one more breath and resisted his once-wild and vivid need for sex.... when it was bare right before him...? All of a sudden.
And you know what else? There was the blatant fact that he was a vampire. A creature with lesser sense of control than humans and still....
Or did this mean that I was repulsive? Or had I just shamelessly proven to him that I was too easy and too loose to the test? Did he have this done in place to threaten or blackmail me sooner or later?
I was afraid and Alexander was in no way helping me resolve anything.
To say the truth, he looked like nothing unforgettable had happened between us.
Instead, he whispered three sentences— that worsened my shame to the point of no return— before we reached the parking lot.
"I never wanted to touch you that way, Lily. I only lost control for a moment before you woke up."
He paused.
"I nearly bit your neck.”