Chapter 9 What Fate?
Phoebe
It felt as if an invisible remote had paused time. Only Hayden and I could move, staring at each other with bated breath. I can hardly breathe; something about him is so unsettling that it leaves me speechless.
His demeanor had completely shifted in just a few hours. It feels like we’re old friends having a casual conversation, not two people who were at each other's throats not long ago. My mind struggles to stay sharp, yet my heart betrays me by letting him get so close.
I try to keep myself grounded. My heart flutters, drawn to him, yet my mind demands restraint. I need to stay focused—for Phoenix and myself. I have a mission here, and I can’t afford distractions. But Hayden’s unexpected gentleness, the intensity in his gaze, and the unfamiliar warmth in his presence—it all stirs something deep within me, something I’m not prepared to face.
His fingers brushed against my cheek, lingering. It sent a shiver down my spine, and I could barely bring myself to look up at him.
“What… what are you doing?”
He gave me a half-smirk, looked teasing and serious. “Touching your face, what else?” His voice is softer than I’m used to, almost intimate. “Your skin… it’s soft. Feminine. And that scent…” He paused, inhaling slightly, his brow furrowing. “Ah, no. Maybe I was mistaken.”
“Why are you acting like this?” I managed, my voice unsteady. “I don’t want to be close to you.”
He leaned back, a flicker of amusement crossing his face. “Just curious, that’s all.”
A faint frown crossed Hayden's forehead as he pulled back from me. His posture was so masculine as he leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his ash-grey hair, making it hard for me not to stare. Maybe I should learn a thing or two from him about embodying a man’s presence.
“We’ll train one more time. Then you can rest.”
Hearing that made me feel relieved. I won’t have to calm my racing heart while he’s so close. It’s unsettling but strangely thrilling, to the point where I can’t quite grasp who Hayden truly is.
“Are you planning to keep zoning out? Your hands are still sloppy, Mathews.”
And just like that, Hayden is back to his usual self—harsh, arrogant, and controlling. Finally, I can breathe again. I prefer it this way.
Training with the hero Hayden chose for me, I get eliminated by him repeatedly, perfectly distracting me. That odd feeling from before fades, dismissed as mere delusion—or so I hope, for the sake of the team.
Training wraps up, and I can finally stretch out on my bed, skipping lunch for a few moments of solitude. Alone, away from Zion and Hayden, those two baffling guys. Absentmindedly, I touched my chest, checking if my heartbeat was normal, even though thoughts of them lingered. If this keeps up, I won’t even trust my heart anymore. Why do I have to be caught up in all of this?
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. It’s Finley calling for Phoenix. I walked over to the door and opened it.
“Yes?” I poked my head out. “What’s with your outfit?”
“Oh, this? I’m heading downtown on my bike. Thought I’d get your opinion on a gift for my brother’s birthday tomorrow. I noticed you wearing a shirt from a brand he likes.”
“But I’ve never ridden a motorbike before.”
“I’m not asking you to ride, just to join me as a passenger. See?”
Finley held up two helmets, one white, and handed one to me with a knowing smile. I nodded and asked him to wait outside while I changed.
I put on Phoenix’s black leather jacket and matching pants, securing the waist with a safety pin since Phoenix’s frame is larger than mine. Rolling up the panthems, I’m ready and comfortable.
When I stepped out, Finley was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t have Zion or Hayden’s towering height, but he had his own charm. I found myself smiling slightly, momentarily caught off guard by his looks.
“I’m glad you agreed to come along. I have no clue about gifts for a brother who’s just hit his teens, especially brands I know nothing about.”
I responded with a short hum, not wanting to talk much and complicate things. Laid feels more natural now, and trust has become a rare thing in my life.
As we walked, I silently wished the Moon Goddess would keep me grounded, helping me remember my limits. I can’t deny the emptiness left by Phoenix’s absence. Do I… miss him?
“Hey, what are you waiting for? Hop on!”
I found myself in the parking lot, and beside me, Finley was already seated on his motorbike, helmet covering his face, with just his warm hazel eyes visible through the visor.
“Let’s go.”
“Hold on tight.”
Wasn’t that a bit awkward? What’s Finley thinking? I can’t hold on to him—that’s just… weird.
As soon as Finley sped up, I nearly slided off the back. He was right; if I didn’t hold on, I might end up as roadkill despite the brakes on all those passing cars. I chuckled at my own foolishness, caring more about appearances than my safety. When Finley glanced back at me, I grabbed his waist. I shoke my head to brush off the embarrassment tightening in my chest.
Thank goodness Finley couldn’t see my flushed face. My heart raced, and while I’d like to blame it on the adrenaline from the ride, it feels… different.
\[You feel comfortable near him, don’t you?\]
The voice returns, stronger this time. It seemed to show up whenever I’m near a guy. First, Hayden, whom I promptly rejected, and then Zion on the rooftop, which was understandable since he knew I was a girl.
But Finley? I never thought the voice would react to him. I just feel comfortable, not attracted to him.
By the Moon Goddess, what’s happening to me?
The more I try to push away these thoughts, the louder the voice grows, pleading, relentless. I’m exhausted. I didn’t want to go mad.
“Whoever you are, stop bothering me!”
\[It’s your fate, Phoebe.\]
“Speak clearly, or get out of my mind! Who are you?”
\[Persephone, your wolf. Here to reveal the desires you’ve always repressed.\]
“My wolf?”
\[Embrace the destiny the Moon Goddess has chosen for you.\]
Before I can ask anything more, Persephone vanishes, leaving me filled with doubt and confusion. What has she stirred within me?