Chapter 30 Why Fate?
Phoebe
I woke to the faint hum of a fluorescent light overhead. Blinking a few times, I realized I was in my room. How had I gotten here? My eyes landed on Tyra, sitting casually in my desk chair.
“Tyra, you’re here?”
“Yeah,” she replied, leaning back. “It’s a long story, but let’s just say I was sent here by Finley. And for the record, your captain over there has been glaring daggers at me since I arrived.”
My gaze shifted to Hayden, standing by the door. His expression, as usual, was unreadable, leaving me uncertain of what he was feeling. I attempted a small smile, but he didn’t respond.
“Baker, could you leave us for a moment?” Hayden’s voice was steady, but there was an edge to it that made me both relieved and anxious.
Tyra groaned, rolling her eyes. “Fine, but only fifteen minutes. I have to meet someone after this.”
When she left, Hayden crossed the room and sat on the edge of my bed. His broad shoulders slumped slightly as he leaned forward, gripping my hands tightly. His gaze softened, the sharp edges of his usual demeanor melting into something almost tender.
“How are you feeling?”
I swallowed, my throat dry. “A little dizzy,” I admitted, my voice hoarse. “What happened?”
The faint bruises on Hayden’s temple and cheekbones caught my eye, their purplish hue almost faded. His jaw tightened, and he looked down at his hands.
“There was… an incident. Adonis and I—we fought after Finley found you unconscious,” he said.
The words hung in the air, heavy and unspoken. Images of their fight flashed through my mind—the sheer intensity of Hayden’s anger, the way Adonis always seemed half-amused, half-enraged. The room suddenly felt too small, too stifling.
“Why?” I whispered, though I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer.
Hayden’s head snapped up, his stormy blue eyes churning with emotions I couldn’t fully decipher—anger, frustration, pain.
“Because he doesn’t respect boundaries,” Hayden said, his voice hard. “Because he thinks he can just waltz in and take what doesn’t belong to him.”
My breath caught. “Hayden…” I began, unsure of what to say.
Guilt weighed heavily on my chest. Was this my fault? Had I unknowingly stoked the fire between them? My thoughts strayed to Adonis—the undeniable pull I felt toward him, that strange connection I couldn’t explain. And then back to Hayden, my boyfriend, who had stood by me all this time.
“You don’t have to explain,” Hayden cut in, his tone sharper than I expected. But then he sighed, softening. “No, that’s not fair. Look, Phoebe, I need you to understand. Everything I’ve done is to protect you. To make sure you’re safe.”
“Safe from what?” I asked, my voice trembling. “From Adonis?”
“From him. From all this destiny nonsense he keeps spewing,” Hayden admitted, his frustration evident, though there was a hint of desperation beneath it. “He thinks that just because the Moon Goddess has some grand plan, it gives him a claim to you. But you’re not a prize to be won, Phoebe.”
His words struck a deep chord within me. “Hayden, I…” I faltered, unsure how to articulate the turmoil inside me. How could I explain the pull I felt toward Adonis without breaking Hayden’s heart? How could I admit that I was just as lost and confused as he was?
“Talk to me,” he urged, leaning closer until our faces were level. His hand cupped my cheek gently. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”
I took a shaky breath. “I didn’t know how to explain it. There’s something about Adonis… something I can’t ignore. It’s like there’s this invisible thread pulling me toward him. And I hate it. I hate feeling this way because it’s not fair to you. Or to me.”
Hayden’s expression darkened, but he didn’t interrupt. I could see the struggle in his eyes, the effort it took to let me speak my truth without letting his emotions take over.
“It feels like my life isn’t mine anymore,” I continued, my voice cracking. “First, the Moon Goddess decides my fate. Then all these others show up, shaking everything I thought I knew. And now you’re… you’re caught in the middle of it all, and I feel like I’m losing control of everything.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them away quickly. I hated crying, hated feeling weak.
“Phoebe,” Hayden said softly, his voice steady even though his eyes reflected the storm within him. “You’re not losing control. We’ll figure this out. Together.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust that we could make sense of all this chaos. But the truth was, I didn’t even know what “this” was.
“Hayden, I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered. “But I don’t know how to fix this.”
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “It’s not your job to fix it, Phoebe. It’s just… hard, okay? Knowing there’s someone else out there who feels entitled to you. Someone who can… who can make you feel things I can’t.”
“That’s not true,” I said quickly, my chest tightening at the pain in his voice. “Hayden, you mean so much to me. I care about you.”
“But is that enough?” he asked, his voice barely audible. “Am I enough?”
I couldn’t answer. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know. My heart felt torn, one part tethered to Hayden, the other inexplicably drawn to someone else. This wasn’t fair. Not to Hayden. Not to me. Not to anyone.
“I need time,” I said finally, my voice trembling. “Time to figure all of this out. Time to understand who I am in all of this.”
Hayden’s grip on my hand tightened briefly before he let go. “Take all the time you need,” he said, his voice heavy with sadness. “But… promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Promise me you won’t let him—won’t let Adonis—make this decision for you.”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t entirely sure I could keep that promise. The pull toward Adonis wasn’t something I understood, let alone controlled.
But I would try. For Hayden. For myself.
As he left the room, the silence that followed was suffocating. I sank back into my pillow, closing my eyes as tears slid down my cheeks. I had never felt so trapped, so powerless. The threads of fate had ensnared me, and I didn’t know how to break free.
How do you fight something that feels inevitable? How do you reclaim control over a life that no longer feels like your own? Those questions echoed in my mind as I drifted into a restless sleep, caught between two worlds, two destinies, and two hearts.