Chapter 18 Spending My Night
Phoebe
"Why?"
Zion’s brows furrowed as he waited for my answer. I had already distanced myself from him, and he took a step back as well. If this continued, I feared I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself. My whole body had nearly succumbed to him.
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to pull myself together as my breathing threatened to spiral out of control. Sliding down onto the edge of the bed, I kept my eyes fixed everywhere but on Zion. I couldn’t let myself go there—not with him. Not this time.
“Just stop, okay?” My voice came out sharper than I intended, laced with the panic I couldn’t quite swallow. “I can’t let myself feel anything for you.”
Zion tilted his head, his usual smirk softening to something unreadable. “You don’t have to,” he said casually, stepping closer. “But why fight it, Mathews? Desire’s got its own rules. And don’t try to deny it—you enjoyed it. I could see it all over your face.”
I shot him a glare, willing my cheeks not to burn. “Do you always do this, Zion? Walking around acting like every girl in the room is just another toy for you to play with?”
The words came out bitter, but deep down, I hated myself for asking. Was I really so out of options that this was my best defense?
My heart was already tied to Hayden, even though we had to keep our relationship a secret. Wouldn’t this count as betrayal? But why did I enjoy being with Zion too?
I couldn’t utter a word. Zion leaned casually against the edge of the desk, his hands tucked into his pockets, completely unbothered by what I felt. Asking him to loosen his obsession seemed impossible.
He was absolutely maddening, yet somehow, I couldn’t muster the energy to be mad at him.
“No,” he said, leaning against the desk like he had all the time in the world. “I’ve never sneaked into a girl’s room before. First time—for you.”
I scoffed, crossing my arms. “Oh, congratulations. You want a medal for that? I can’t even imagine you understanding how I feel.”
Zion’s smirk wavered, just for a second. “Do you have feelings for someone else? Another wolf? Your mate?”
His question hit me like a slap, and my head shot up. For a moment, his face was tense, his dark eyes scanning my features like he was searching for some kind of answer. It wasn’t the usual smugness—it was something else entirely, something that made me pause.
He reached out to touch my shoulder, leaning forward until our faces were level. His proximity shook my resolve to stay unaffected by his charm. When his fingers brushed my chin, my defenses crumbled entirely.
I blinked, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in his head. When nothing came, I let out a sharp breath, doing my best to keep my heart from racing out of control.
“Yes. I can’t betray him with... whatever just happened between us. It’s not fair—to him or you. I just can’t stand things being unfair. I hope you get that.”
“What if I don’t?” he shot back, completely unfazed.
I froze, eyes widening in shock. My hearing was fine, and my mind wasn’t tired enough to misinterpret what he’d just said. His words hit harder than I could have imagined, leaving me momentarily speechless.
What was he thinking about saying something like that?
I let out a sigh, my shoulders sagging under the weight of trying to figure Zion out. The guy made zero sense—completely unpredictable. And it was exhausting.
“What are you even saying, Zion? This isn’t possible. I must’ve heard you wrong, right?”
“There’s no such thing as impossible. And hey, I’m not trying to be selfish here—I can share.”
“Share? Are you out of your mind?”
“Probably. Or maybe I’m just drunk—on your scent,” he said, smirking like it was some kind of joke. “Your body’s got this way of pulling me in, like I can’t resist. Especially earlier, when I asked you to swim, and Mr. Stiff Hayden decided to drag you off to train instead.”
A headache started pounding at my temples. Zion and Hayden—polar opposites. Hayden was all about rules, serious and focused. Zion? He was chaos, rebellious and way too carefree. If Hayden ever found out about this... no, scratch that, it’d be the end of the world. Honestly, disappearing seemed like a solid option right now.
‘Phoenix, do you even know what it feels like pretending to be you?’
\[Sometimes sanity isn’t the answer. Just go with it, Phoebe.\]
“Can’t you just give me a break? You always show up with some puzzle that leaves me spinning.”
\[Relax. Not every storm is meant to destroy. The Moon Goddess wants you to understand what fairness really is.\]
“Just go. I’ve done what you wanted—with Hayden.”
As soon as Persephone’s presence faded, a weird calm settled over me. I pressed a hand to my chest, noticing the buzz of her energy was completely gone. But her words about “fairness” kept bouncing around in my head, refusing to leave me alone.
"What scent are you even talking about?" I snapped, shaking myself back to reality.
"Hazelnut chocolate," Zion said in a low, almost teasing whisper. "Just like the Seer in our pack said it would be."
I frowned, irritation bubbling up. Why did every guy keep bringing this up? What was so special about me that they all noticed?
The more I dwelled on it, the more my head throbbed. Forget it—it was better to push this aside and focus on being Phoenix. That’s what mattered, for his sake.
The rest of the night passed with Zion and me chatting about his and Hayden’s old friendship before it soured. I didn’t dig too deep, just listened as he recounted their history in his thick Minnesota accent. Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I expected—though he couldn’t resist throwing in a few swear words when the conversation shifted to MOBA games.
At one point, I reflexively clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh, which made him glance my way. That sly, almost smug smile of his? Yeah, it was infuriatingly charming.
"I’ll leave you with this," he said, his tone gentle but carrying a weight that lingered. "Be yourself—don’t let anyone else’s noise drown out your song. And about what I said on the roof? I was just blowing smoke. I’m not that heartless."
He paused, then threw me a cheeky wink. "But hey, do me a solid… and return my feelings one day."
Was he kidding? Or was this just another one of his tricks to get under my skin?
I didn’t know what my face looked like, but I felt my cheeks heat up uncontrollably. Was this one of his tricks to mess with me?
Snap out of it, Phoebe!
Something fluttered in my stomach, a strange, ticklish sensation I struggled to ignore. Luckily, I managed to avoid doing anything foolish. The last thing I needed was to give Zion more ammunition to tease me.
It was enough that I was Phoebe pretending to be Phoenix.
Before I could figure out how to stop him, Zion’s lips met mine, and any shred of control I had left went out the window. My hands found their way into his curls, my lips moving against his as if they had a mind of their own. Every second seemed to fan the flames of his silent yearning.
"I’ve waited for you because I don’t want anyone else," he murmured, his voice low and rough. "I need to understand you—it’s the only thing keeping me sane. And yesterday? I was just messing around. I needed you to know that."
"But—"
"I don’t fucking care, okay!" he cut me off, his tone firm and unyielding. "No one, not even the wolf you love, will stop me from claiming what’s already mine. The Moon Goddess tied us together, and I’m not letting go."
I watched silently as Zion left, his tall frame struggling slightly to climb out the window. A small smile tugged at my lips when his head bumped the window frame on his way out.
A soft thud reached my ears seconds after Zion disappeared. Curious, I leaned out to see what had happened. Folding my arms, I raised a brow.
"I’m fine. Thanks for the fun, Mathews. See you in training class," he called out, rising from the ground.
I suddenly remembered it was the last night of the weekend break. Ending it with a conversation with Zion brought a strange, unexpected color to the day. Zion wasn’t all bad, but his overly laid-back attitude was a bit much at times.
Had I lowered my standards for him? Or was I finally opening myself up to a different path?