One week turned into two and still, there was no word from Devon.
No phone calls or messages—nothing. It felt like a part of my heart had been ripped off. He was the missing person to our triangle.
The pregnancy wasn’t making it easy on me either. The morning sickness was becoming worse every passing second. I hated it. I hated the fact that I couldn’t eat what I wanted to. I hated the fact that my activities were limited because of the pregnancy. I always felt tired, not to mention the lower back pain I suffered from.
A few days after I arrived here, Mel talked me into working at the diner with her. It was fun until all the aches and pains started. Then I just started to hate it and refused to go with her. I’d spend my day wandering around the house or curling up with a book. But then I’d lose interest in the book too. I didn’t feel like doing anything anymore, even with David now by my side.
He talked me into doing simple things like taking a walk outside, driving into town to go watch a movie or just do some window shopping. He basically forced me out of the house. I started to hate him for that too. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget the fact that I was pregnant.
“How about we head into town for a movie?” David asked from the doorway. “There’s a new one showing. I think you’ll like it.”
I ignored him and tried to focus on the blooming flowers in the backyard instead of the lingering pain in my back and lower stomach. It seemed to be growing worse with every passing second. I pressed a hand against my stomach and leaned forward slightly. I could hear David moving closer to me. Pulling my hand away from my stomach, I reached up to grip the necklace.
David sighed as he took a seat in front of me. He placed a hand on my knee and squeezed. I looked up at him then. His eyes darted over my face.
“You’ve been in here since yesterday, doll,” he muttered. “I thought we agreed that we would take a walk every day at least.”
My eyes darted back to the window. My lips parted but no words escaped. I wanted to tell him about the pain but I didn’t. I was scared. So fucking scared. What if something happened to the baby and he hated me for it? David sighed loudly again.
“Fine. You don’t feel like doing anything?” I shook my head. “How about this then; we can watch some movies or cuddle in bed with some ice cream or brownies. Becky baked some yesterday.”
I hesitated but then gave him a nod. He smiled at me, and I instantly smiled back at him. David leaned forward and pressed his lips against my forehead.
“I’ll go get everything ready. I expect you to be downstairs in five minutes.”
With another kiss against my forehead, he got up and walked out of the room. I watched him until he disappeared before turning back to the window.
My heart was yearning for Devon to be here with us. I needed to hear his voice even if it was for only a few seconds.
Pushing the blanket from my legs, I carefully stood and made my way over to the bedside table. Sinking down on the edge of the bed, I reached for the phone. I knew his number by heart from all those times I wanted to call him but never did. The phone rang twice before he answered.
“Hello?”
Just hearing his voice made tears fill my eyes. How long has it been since I last saw him? How long has it been since he held me and whispered in my ear? How long would I have to wait until he was here with me?
“Hello?”
I licked my lips. “D-Devon.”
What little hope I had died down when he ended the call. I stared at the phone for a few more seconds before I lowered it back to the bedside table. I stood with wobbly knees and slowly made my way out of the room. When I reached the top of the stairs, the pain had intensified so badly that I could barely breathe. My surroundings tilted.
“D-David,” I whimpered.
I gasped as another sharp pain shot through my stomach. My legs gave way beneath me. Thankfully I managed to catch hold of the railing before I tumbled down the stairs. I sank down on the first step and pressed my face against my knees. It was getting harder to breathe. I sucked in a deep breath and screamed.
Something smashed and then David was there at the end of the staircase staring up at me. Another whimper fell from my lips. He was next to me in an instant. Hands gripped my arms and forced me upright. My lips parted.
A gasp fell from my lips a second before everything faded into darkness.
***
I knew the moment I opened my eyes.
I knew where I was, and I knew there was no longer a baby growing inside me. I felt empty and so alone. Someone sat beside the bed, holding onto my hand. It was hard to tell exactly who it was because of the strong smell of antiseptic and something else. I was afraid to move. This had to be a dream. It wasn’t real, but it all felt real.
The pain in my chest had nothing to do with not having my mates beside me. It was my entire fault. I didn’t want the baby and now there was no baby anymore. I closed my eyes and allowed the darkness to pull me under once again.
***
“The doctor said you can go home now.”
His hands slowly brushed up and down my arm. It was soothing, but I could hear the pain in his voice. I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me. It was why I avoided looking at him. One look at him and the guilt would start eating at me.
“Val?” His hand paused. “Please talk to me, doll. Your silence is killing me.”
The door opened.
Mel walked around the bed until she faced me. Her eyes darted over my face with worry. Our eyes locked. She gave me a small smile but her lips quivered. Turning around, she lowered the flowers onto the chair, and then without another word, she walked out of the room again. The chair creaked when David stood. I tensed, and reached for him, afraid that he was going to leave me too, but it was too late. His arm slipped through my hold as he walked to the door and exit the room. In the silence that followed, I allowed the tears to escape.
I tugged the sheets up to my lips to stiffly the sounds of my sobs. It was all my fault.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the room was filled with darkness. It took me a few minutes to realize that it wasn’t the hospital room. I wasn’t in a room at all. We were moving. I raised my head and glanced around. It was just like the first time Alark and Mel had picked me up. I sat in the back of the moving truck with Mel beside me. David sat in the front with Alark behind the wheel. Where were we going?
“You’re awake,” Mel said softly.
My eyes instantly darted over to David when he glanced over his shoulder. He gave me a small smile. “We’re almost there.”
Home? My hopes soared only to be deflated when I realized that we weren’t heading to the pack. Alark parked the car in front of their house. The moment the car stopped, I reached for the door and opened it. I slid down to the ground and used the car for support. My legs felt like jelly. Movement from the corner of my eyes made my head snap to the left. I stared at the tall figure slowly straightening. He stepped into the light, giving me a full view of his face.
“D-Devon.”
I didn’t care that my legs couldn’t hold my weight. I didn’t care that he had hurt me so badly when he hung up the phone. All I wanted was to be in his arms once again, soI ran, or more like I stumbled towards him. But he caught me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me against his big body. I pressed my face against his neck.
“I missed you so fucking much, baby.”
“Missed you too.”
He hugged me tighter. His hand slid down to the back of my knee. I raised my legs and wrapped them around his waist. Devon muttered something to someone and then turned and headed for the house. He climbed the stairs and then paused again. I raised my head enough to see Mel unlocking the front door and pushing it open. Devon entered right away.
“Let’s head up to the bedroom.”
David led the way into the bedroom. I clung to Devon when he lowered me to the bed. David muttered something too low for me to hear. Devon turned and then carefully took a seat on the edge of the bed. His hand slipped into my hair and tugged. I was forced to look at him. Callused fingers brushed the dark circles under my eyes. He had similar ones underneath his.
“You look like a zombie.”
“Y-you too.”
He gave me a small smile, but it quickly faded. I had to look away from the pain that suddenly filled his eyes. He was finally here after weeks. But it wasn’t under happy circumstances. I pressed my face against his neck again and held on. David joined us. He wrapped his arms around both Devon and me. My chest tightened when I felt the first his teardrop landing on my shoulder. Devon sucked in a shuddering breath a second before a sob fell from his lips. Having them crying only made it so much worse.
I pushed myself away from them and stumbled back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
David reached for me but, I ran for the door. I ignored their yells. Alark stepped in front of me, halting my process, but only for a few minutes. I caught him off guard when I slammed into him. He stumbled backward with a grunt and reached for me, but I slipped out of his reach and rounded the corner. The door was within sight, but suddenly two arms wrapped around my waist and hauled me off my feet. A scream fell from my lips. I trashed, trying to get free but the hold only tightened.
“Calm down, Valeria.”
“No! I’m sorry! It’s my fault. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”
I threw my elbow back and hit him in the ribs. He grunted and stumbled backward. I felt the impact of his big body hitting the wall. Instead of letting me go, he hoisted me higher up his chest. I raised my leg to kick him, but another big body suddenly stepped in front of me. I whimpered. Big hands cupped my cheeks and forced my face up to his. I squeezed my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Look at me, doll.” I whimpered. “Please, Val. Look at me.”
I slowly opened my eyes. His eyes instantly caught mine. They were dark and filled with unknown emotions. I licked my lips and forced my body to relax. Wasn’t this where I’ve wanted to be for the past month? Then why was the urge to run from them so strong?
“What did you mean? Why are you saying that it’s your fault?”
His image became blurry once more. I blinked, causing the tears to spill over and trailed down my cheeks. He caught them with his thumbs.
I sucked in a breath. “We lost the baby because of me. I didn’t want it. It’s my fault.”
Devon’s arms around my waist tightened. He buried his face against the side of my neck. I shuddered when he licked my skin. David pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His breath fanned my lips. It smelt like coffee.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered. “It wasn’t your fault, doll.”
I opened my mouth but he brushed his lips against mine. My body sagged against theirs. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. David repeated the words until I had no choice but to believe him. Exhaustion suddenly hit me. My eyes fluttered closed and my head dropped back against Devon’s shoulder. Someone spoke but I didn’t hear what was said. David pulled away, making my arms slip from his neck.
“Come on baby, let’s get you to bed,” Devon muttered against my ear. “Mel is going to make you some soup.”
He carefully picked me up and cradled me against his chest as he climbed the stairs. A few minutes later I was settled in bed with Devon right at my side. I was too scared to let go of his hand encase he wanted to leave again.
Mel entered the room with a tray that held a bowl and some bread. She lowered it onto my lap and then disappeared again. I stared down at the bowl with dismay. Devon reached out and picked up a slice of bread. He broke it in half, dipped one piece in the soup, and raised it to my lips.
“Val,” he growled in warning.
I parted my lips.
After finishing three slices, I declined any more. Devon made me drink some soup and then moved the tray aside. I glanced up when David entered the bedroom. He softly closed the door behind him and then made his way over to the bed. He sat at my side and reached out to grip my hand.
“We talked to the doctor,” he said softly. “It wasn’t your fault for losing the baby, Val. When Mel took you to the doctor he did some tests. The baby would have been born with defects. It was why your body rejected the fetus.”
“Defects?” I breathed. “It. . .I don’t. . .”
“The fetus wasn’t developing the way it should. That was why you were so sick. If we had done the test earlier it would’ve been determined then, but when didn’t. Your body knew that the fetus wasn’t going to live long even after it was born, that’s why it rejected it.”
I clutched at his hand. “It wasn’t my fault,” I whispered. “I wasn’t ready. I thought because I didn’t want the baby. . .” I trailed off, glancing at them.
“I don’t think any of us are ready for a baby yet,” Devon said softly. “We weren’t thinking of precautions but we will now. Once everything with the pack is settled and when you are ready for a baby, we will try again.”