Chapter 97: Am I Going To Die?

Chapter 97: Am I Going To Die?
Maisie's POV:

Anytime anything happened to me before... well, that is, back when I was younger, my mother would never want to hear my side of it. The more I tried to tell her my side, the more she would take my sibling's side over mine about the details of what happened when it came to anything. It made me believe even more and more... that she didn't care about me.

Was that so wrong? That's all I wanted, and she couldn't even give me that. She really didn't care about me at all, the more I think about it. Despite all of that, I really loved my mother. I loved her, and she didn't even show me any sort of kindness in return. She was the only thing I had. She is the only one I was allowed to talk to. Well... Mother was the one who did most of the talking, but still. Other than that, I had my siblings. No matter what, they never treated me like one of them. I didn't understand why.

Just then, as I tried to remain calm with only my nose and lips hovering right there at the surface of the water, I had a thought come to mind. One that threatened to bring a tear to my eye. I recalled the one day I asked her about my father. I wanted to know why he wasn't around. She told me when I was really young, my father ran away cause he didn't want to deal with me. She said that I caused nothing but trouble for her and my father.

As I thought about it more, I guess I didn't deserve to have anyone believe me when it came to the truth. I'm not sure of the real reason he left, but could it really have been what she said? Did he really not love me at all? My siblings, on the other hand, got to run around where I lived and no one ever got onto them. I was the only one who ever seemed to be in any sort of trouble.

At this point, my thoughts were disturbed by the fact that my legs were really starting to get tired. The sense of pain was getting more intense, and I could feel it all over my entire being at this point. What was I going to do when I could no longer hold myself up out of the water? I was barely able to hold my face up out of the water as it was already. I tried to stay focused. I tried to stay calm. I even tried to stay as still as I could so I wouldn't splash water on my face.

It made it harder to stay focused when I was coughing as I did earlier. How was I expected to hold myself up and still breathe at the same time? I did the best I could not to breathe in the water when it did take a breath. But one question remained ever so pressing in on my mind right then. How much longer was He going to take before He finally came back? What was I going to do until then?

Did He not say that He was going to come right back? Or was it that He said He would be back shortly? I can't remember now. I'm doing everything I can to try and stay calm in this scary situation. Compared to His growl, it would be nice to hear at this moment. That way I would know that He at least sees me and will help me. Wait, will He even try to help me when He sees me?! If He came back into the room right now, would He see me and actually want to help me?

Wasn't He the one who put me in this position, as He was the one who stood me right there beside this large bowl of water and wrapped me up, right? Did that mean He wanted me to stay in the position He put me in? I thought about Mother. Anytime she moved me, making me stand someplace, she had solely intended for me to stay there.

I made the horrible mistake and sat down one time. It was a long time she made me stand there while I was waiting for her to come back. I didn't think she would have minded, as it had been a while since she put me in that position. I was punished for it for sure for sitting down, when in fact she left me standing there.

What was I going to do? How much longer could I stay here like this? Was I going to have the strength to stay like this till He came back and got me out of the water? The longer time went on, the more tired I was getting, and I was losing what strength I thought I had. I wasn't sure if I could hold myself up for that much longer. I knew I was about to lose my strength altogether.

What can I do? Instead of trying to continue with this struggle, of holding myself up in the water, I needed to come up with a new plan, as my current one wasn't working. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself up. So, I needed to control my breathing. I started to calm myself, taking in long, slow deep breaths. Finally, I took in one... long... last breath right before I felt myself go under the surface of the water.

I guess I could stay like this for a few moments. Maybe, just maybe, He would be here by now and help me get out. I decided to close my eyes as I felt myself drift deeper. There was no point in trying to focus on everything while I was under the water.

After a moment, I gently tried to stretch my legs out so I could push myself up out of the water again, but it was no use. I had no energy left to be able to move myself, or do much of anything, let alone getting out of the water again, even to take one final breath. I guess this was it for me. As I tried to focus, one final question came to mind. Am I going to die?

I kept my eyes closed as I tried to remain focused, and by that, I mean staying calm. I even tried to slow my heart rate, as I could feel the beating in my chest start to slow. That way, I wouldn't use up all the air I had taken in a moment before. As I kept my eyes closed, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. Soon, I was to breathe out my final breath, without the ability to take in more air.

It was like everything around me was going faint. I could no longer open up my eyes. I could no longer feel anything around me. What happened to me? Why could I not open up my eyes? Well, it didn't really matter, did it?