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Naimh didn’t show up to our group hangout spot for recess. There was always a ten-minute break between second and third periods, enough for someone to run to the bathroom, have a conversation, or at least get a mental break. When she didn’t show, Alice wondered aloud if Naimh had skipped school entirely. Nobody had seen her today, so it was possible, but we also didn’t have time to investigate, either.

Our two classrooms before lunch weren’t too far apart though, so I’d surreptitiously packed myself up before the end of the period and then bolted as soon as we were dismissed. As it turned out, I needn’t have rushed, because as I started approaching her classroom, I found my girlfriend already looking for me.

“Matty!” Naimh exclaimed excitedly as she rushed up to me as quickly as I was rushing up to her.

My heart raced as adrenaline flooded my veins, and the sight of the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen briefly made me forget the rest of the universe even existed. I’d wanted her from the day I’d met her, and on complete autopilot for a moment, I scooped her up in my arms and met her ferocious kiss with equal passion as we locked lips and speared our tongues into each other’s mouth.

This wasn’t the first time we’d started French kissing outside her classroom, although this was possibly the first time we did so with her legs wrapped around my waist.

Maybe. I couldn’t really remember.

The point is: nobody paid us much attention, heading off to spend the lunch break in ways other than gawking at me and the stacked redhead.
But after the first minute or so, I suddenly remembered all of yesterday’s events, from the crazy anal piledriving to her screaming her ex-boyfriend’s name to her dad trying to break down the door to Naimh literally shoving her dad around and giving him an earful and my own realization that our relationship was over. And that’s when I pulled my lips away from hers and abruptly let go of her legs.

Naimh squeaked as she felt gravity suddenly tugging her down, and she dropped her feet to the concrete beneath us. Her face turned scarlet red and she grimaced, muttering, “Sorry-sorry-sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t apologize,” I told her. “I’m used to my girlfriend kissing me like that.”

She gave me a nervous look, asking, “Am I still your girlfriend?”

I glanced around at the sea of humanity around us. Nobody was hanging out within eavesdropping range, but it was still far too public to have this kind of conversation. Fortunately, our classrooms weren’t far from the parking lot (hence all the minivan quickies during lunch), so I took her by the hand and quickly led her off campus.

Once we actually got to the parking lot, I had to tug Naimh just a little to keep her going. She kept slowing down, as if she sensed her doom lay within my minivan. At least there wasn’t anyone nearby, and as I hit the remote to unlock the van, I glanced over and gave her a sadly serious look. “Look, it’s not that I want to break up with you. But after--”

“I’m sorry for screaming Conor’s name,” she cut me off as we both climbed into the middle row. I led her over the far end and then closed the sliding door behind myself.

“It was an accident,” Naimh continued. “I love you and never meant to hurt you. If there had been time yesterday before my parents showed up, I would’ve told you all this. But we didn’t and they showed up and I’m-I’m ... I’m SO sorry for my da’ he jus’ has ‘is tempra but he’mens well anna know it jus’ mens’he loves mah to pieces anna’preciate da but atta same time Imma DONE lett’nim run mah life!”

I blinked, just trying to keep up. “What?”

Naimh ran her right hand up her forehead and over the top of her head, closed her eyes, and took a calming breath. With her accent under control, she explained, “No more groundings. No more lockdowns on nights and weekends. I told him that no fuckin’ way would I agree to do that anymore. I told him that I thought I had already proven I loved my family more than I loved my boyfriend when I came here to America, and that I was done try’na to keep proving it. I told him if he try lock’n mah down again, Idda leave for guud. Or, he cud’cept that Imma grown wom’n who loves him ver’much but Imma NOT stay un’dra ‘is thumb an’more!”

Naimh’s eyes were steely green fire, and I whistled in amazement, muttering, “Wow.”

She held her hands up and squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to focus. “I said those things for us, Matty.” She reached out and squeezed my hands tightly. “I said them because I won’t let him take me away from you. I love you. No more sneaking quickies in the van. Well ... no more HAVING to sneak quickies in the van (I’m happy to keep having quickies in the van).”

I managed a smile.

“We can have a quickie right now...” The gorgeous redhead batted her eyelashes at me as she leaned in and puckered up.

“Wait-wait, no.” I held my hand up and stopped her lips. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and gave her a serious look. “I’m glad you stood up to your dad.

Truly, I am. I know that’s a huge personal step for you, and ordinarily I would be thrilled that you and I would finally have a chance to go see that sunset on the beach that we never got around to seeing.”

Her steely green gaze cracked, and she shrank a bit, sensing the truck that was about to run her over but unable to move out of the way.

“But, I’m sorry. I’m not changing my mind about us,” I continued. “Yes, I’m breaking up with you.”

“Matty ... don’t do this,” she pleaded.

“We have to.”

“No we don’t. Don’t you get it? We can FINALLY have the relationship we always wanted. The relationship YOU always wanted. No more sneaking around. I’ll stay with you overnight. If you get horny in the middle of the night you can just roll over and stick it in me. We can cuddle with my head on your chest the way you do with Belle, having all those conversations we never got to have. Please, Matty. PLEASE don’t break up with me! We can fuck right now in the van. Or just put in the keys and drive us to your place. Fuck school! I wanna fuck YOU. NOW, Matty!”

“No! Don’t you get it? We can’t just keep wallpapering over our problems with sex!”

“But I love you!”

“I believe that you do, but I also believe that you’re still in love with Conor.”

“Come ON. I haven’t even talked to him in like ... two months! At Christmas.”

I sighed. “I didn’t realize you’d talked to him at all since coming to America.”

“We’re still friends,” she huffed. “We haven’t talked a lot or anything - phone calls across the pond are expensive - and I wasn’t trying to hide him from you.”

“No, but you didn’t tell me about him, either.”

“Is it an American thing that a girl is supposed to volunteer information about her ex-boyfriend to her current boyfriend or vice versa?”

“No, of course not.” I arched an eyebrow. “Did you tell him about us?”

“We weren’t an ‘us’ yet two months ago, so there was nothing to tell.”

“Forget it.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “Look, we’re still part of the BTC. I want us to stay friends at the very least. But you need time to sort your feelings for Conor from your feelings for me and be really sure you’re not getting the two of them mixed up. Honestly, I need some time and space to consider my own feelings for you. And I am hopeful that after we’ve had that time to think, you and I can find our way back to each other.”

“But we don’t have very much time left,” she pleaded, her eyes moist. “I don’t want to waste it dwelling on the past when I already know I want you for my future.”

“Do you? If your parents told you they were moving back to Ireland tomorrow and you could be with Conor again, would you threaten to leave them and move in with me?”

“I...” She looked immediately ready to answer in the affirmative, but she clearly hadn’t thought about it, and now that she did, she hesitated.

I just raised my eyebrows and looked at her expectantly.

“That’s not a fair question,” she complained. “It’s not about you versus Conor. I already told you how important my family is to me. And I’m sorry, but I would choose my family over you, yes. So if my parents moved, I would go with them anywhere. It has nothing to do with Conor.”

“Fair enough.” I sighed and took a deep breath. “Look: It really is this simple.” I paused, gathered my thoughts, and then squeezed her hands in mine, finishing, “You screamed another man’s name while we were having sex. I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure that’s bad form in Ireland as much as it is here. I can’t just ignore that and pretend it didn’t bother me. Now you don’t have to convince me it was an accident. But you will have to convince me you’re truly over him, and to do that, we need to spend some time apart ... NOT having sex to wallpaper over our problems.”

She pulled back and through tear-stricken eyes, she stared at me in understanding. But a moment later, she leaned forward and whispered directly into my ear. “I just told my parents to stay out of my sex life, and I’m free to come over to your house every fuckin’ night and let you ram your fat cock into my tight arsehole over and over and over again. I WANT to come over to your house every fuckin’ night and let you ram your fat cock into my tight arsehole over and over and over again. Are you SURE you don’t want me to do that?”

I was breathing hard to hear that, but I clutched her upper arms and separated us once more. “Can you promise me a hundred percent that you won’t once fantasize about Conor while we’re doing that? It occurs to me that we always seem to be having sex while you’re facing away from me. Now I get that you’re the Anal Queen of the BTC, but all the other girls love watching my face while I’m sodomizing the shit outta them. Tell me ... honestly ... how many times have you already imagined it was Conor behind you, fantasized that HE was pounding you instead of me?”

I stared straight into her emerald-green eyes, daring her to lie to me. She quavered a bit, but a moment later, that steely resolve came back into her spine as she growled through gritted teeth. “Just the once. I swear to God, Matty. That was the very very first fuckin’ time.”

I was surprised by her answer, but simultaneously reassured. Honestly, I was expecting her to say it had only been “a few times” or something like that, not just the once.

“I’d put Conor behind me. I’d stopped thinking about him a long time ago. YOU were the one who put him back in my mind, asking me those questions about what made my parents lock me down. He was my first love. I missed his tenderness. I missed everything about him. And at some point when you were just piledriving me like crazy, I got out of my head and imagined I was with him, which is crazy, because first of all, we never had anal sex, and second of all, he was nowhere near as good as you.”

Naimh clutched me close and stared quite intensely into my eyes. “The orgasms you’ve given me are STAGGERING. Conor was just a boy, enthusiastic but unskilled. But he loved me. He worshipped the ground I walked on. I was a goddess to him, and I missed feeling like that. You look at me like I am a goddess to you.”

“You are. Still are.”

“As for the always facing away from you, can I help it if I love being your anal slut, always bent over submitting to my big strong man? Feeling him violating me all the way down to my sacred core while he’s spanking my asscheeks harder and harder?”

I gulped. If she kept saying shit like that, I was liable to lose my nerve and not follow through with the break-up.

“I want to make clear that I love you for you. Not because you remind me of him. You’re completely different men, and I know that. I miss Conor, but I only love YOU.” She stared at me sincerely. “I swear it was a one-time accident and it won’t happen again.”

I took a deep breath, held her steady, and said, “Then we have a chance. We have a real chance. I forgive you for the one time; what’s done is done. But I still need time to think. And right here, right now, can you say you’ve gotten Conor completely out of your mind? That he doesn’t still have a piece of your heart? That you don’t miss him terribly?”

Closing her eyes, Naimh took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. When she opened her eyes again, she stared at me intently and replied, “Yes, he still has a piece of my heart. He was my first. Nothing can ever change that.”

I briefly thought of Sam, considered that, and nodded.

Naimh looked up at me. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t mean I don’t still want you. And I won’t apologize for having fond feelings of the boy I grew up with back in Ireland. Or are you going to tell me that YOU don’t love Belle or Sam or Alice or--”

“I get it, I get it.” I held my hands up. “Fair enough.”

“NOT fair, if you’re allowed to love six girls and yet hold me accountable for loving two.”

“I know it’s not fair.”

“And it’s NOT fair if you’re going to keep fucking the other five of them and yet hold out on me.”

I rubbed my forehead. “Look, I’m not saying we’re NEVER going to start again. I’m just asking for some space to get my head straight, alright? And if being ‘fair’ is what you really want, you have every right to go find some other guy to hook up with.”

She frowned. “I don’t WANT any other guy. I want YOU.”

I held my hands up helplessly.

Exhaling, Naimh folded her arms over her chest. “Fine. We’re broken up. I’ll give you the space you need.”

I arched an eyebrow. “I smell a ‘but’ coming.”

My now ex-girlfriend smirked, and her eyes narrowed. “But I AM going to prove my love to you. Count on it.”

I smiled. “I look forward to it.”