Chapter 73 Chapter 25.1
I didn’t leave the country—not when my son was still fighting for his life in the hospital. Instead, I rented a small apartment nearby so I could rush to him the moment his nurses called. Each day, Mommy Shiermy stayed by my side. I was the only one she confided in about Daryl, she didn’t want to tell the rest of the family yet, not while my baby was still battling for every breath.
I told her not to tell anyone, not even Desmond. I knew it was selfish, keeping my son hidden from his own father, but fear clawed at my chest every time I imagined what might happen if Macie found out. What if she saw my child as a threat? What if she did something out of desperation? I couldn’t risk Daryl’s safety—not now, not ever.
Every morning, before ten, I sat waiting outside the NICU doors, fully dressed in a sterile gown, ready to enter the moment the nurses unlocked the area.
“Heaven, you’re early again,” Mommy Shiermy greeted warmly when she arrived one morning.
“I’m just excited to see him again,” I said, managing a small smile. She returned it gently.
“I’m happy to see you smiling again, Heaven.”
I nodded faintly, then hesitated. “Mom… have you talked to Desmond lately?”
She drew a deep breath and shook her head.
“His office is always locked. I rarely see him at the company. I tried visiting your house, but he wasn’t there either. I don’t know where he goes or what he’s doing. I asked Zach, and even he doesn’t know. If Desmond is with Macie, I no longer care. He’s my son, but I will never tolerate what he did to you. I also don’t plan on telling him anything about the baby.”
A bitter smile tugged at my lips. Were they happy again? Had they run off together to escape the mess? Yes, I was the one who left, but a part of me still hoped he would look for me.
Maybe it was time to accept that whatever we had… was already over.
“Mom, once Daryl is discharged, I want to ask for something.”
She looked at me curiously.
“I want to take him with me to Germany.”
Shock flickered in her eyes. I could see her hesitating, torn between her son and her grandson.
“You’re his mother, Heaven. You have the greater right. If you want to keep him hidden from Desmond, I’ll support you. But you know you can’t hide him forever. Someday, Desmond will learn the truth.”
I knew that. But as long as I could, I would keep Daryl safe. I was grateful that my mother-in-law supported me in all my choices, even when they weren’t easy.
“I just need to go far from here for now, mom. It still hurts… everything that happened. It hurts that he went back to Macie right after he thought our baby died. Does he really deserve to know the truth after that? He didn’t even mourn, mom. Not one month. He didn’t even let the grief settle before running back to her.”
Anger tightened my chest like a vice. Every night, I dreamed of the moment he betrayed me.
Mommy Shiermy sighed, unable to undo the damage he caused.
“How long will you stay in Germany?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I don’t plan to hide forever, my family is still here in the Philippines. But I need distance from Desmond. If I stay, there’s a chance we’ll cross paths again. I love your son, mom. I love Desmond so much… but I don’t want to force him to stay when he clearly doesn’t want to.”
She nodded silently. The NICU doors opened, and I had no more time to speak. I slipped inside.
I couldn’t wait to see my little boy.
“Hello, my little one,” I whispered as I approached his incubator, my hand brushing its warm surface. I couldn’t hold him yet, couldn’t hug him or feel his tiny weight on my chest, but the day would come, no matter how long I had to wait.
He fought so hard to stay alive. Even as small as he was, I saw his will, felt his strength. He wanted to live.
My chest tightened when his skin darkened from crying, something his doctors said was normal for babies with heart complications. Still, it terrified me every time.
The days blurred together, my world shrinking to the space between the hospital and my apartment. I bought all his baby things anew, I didn’t dare touch the items Desmond and I had prepared. I couldn’t risk any clue that our son was alive.
Visiting hours were short, one hour in the morning, thirty minutes in the afternoon but even that felt far too little. Time always slipped through my fingers when I was with him.
Every day, the tubes and wires attached to him diminished little by little. Each one removed made my chest swell with cautious relief. It meant he was healing.
I updated Mommy Shiermy constantly, because she rarely visited, she couldn’t risk Desmond noticing her frequent absences. I knew nothing of him anymore. I didn’t know where he was, what he did, or if he ever thought of me. None of it mattered. All I wanted was for my child to live.
I longed for the day I could finally take him home. I told no one in my family. They knew I was leaving the country but not the real reason. I was afraid someone might slip and tell Desmond.
One afternoon, I stared at my son as his vital signs dipped again. Blood transfusions had become routine, his body lacked enough red blood cells. Mommy Shiermy had been right. Nothing inside the hospital was easy. Every day was fear, fear that the next second might be the last he breathed.
Every time his oxygen dropped, it felt like the air was being ripped out of my own lungs. Sometimes I wondered if he would ever leave this place. Sometimes, despite trying to stay brave, dark thoughts crept in. I saw exhaustion in his tiny eyes. He cried often when I visited, I knew he felt the sting of every needle, every tube piercing his fragile skin.
And all I could do was watch.
Every day felt like dying slowly, watching my child hurt and having no power to take away his pain.