Chapter 84 Question of the past
Timothy
I am still reeling.
An hour ago, I thought she was unconscious.
An hour ago, my heart was somewhere near my throat and I was calculating hospital routes in my head.
Now I am sitting in my own house wearing a ridiculous cone hat, eating a slice of chocolate cake while soft music hums in the background.
It feels unreal.
The adrenaline hasn’t fully left my system. My hands still feel slightly unsteady, though I’ve masked it well enough.
I take another bite of cake.
It’s perfect.
Of course it is.
Dark chocolate. Not overly sweet. Dense but smooth.
My favorite.
I didn’t tell her that.
At least, I don’t think I did.
Across the room, Hannah moves like she belongs here.
No, like the room belongs to her.
She’s laughing softly with two of the estate staff, thanking them for helping, brushing off their compliments. They look at her with something dangerously close to adoration.
Like she hung the moon.
Like she holds the sun in her palms and is deciding who gets warmth.
And I cannot seem to tear my eyes away.
It’s subtle, the way she drifts from person to person. She isn’t commanding attention. She isn’t demanding it.
She simply gathers it.
And keeps giving it back.
“She’s something, isn’t she.”
Rowan’s voice breaks into my thoughts as he sidles up beside me, holding a drink he doesn’t need.
I don’t look at him.
“Yes.”
He hums knowingly.
We stand in silence for a moment, watching her.
She throws her head back at something Lisa says, smiling wide and unguarded.
Something in my chest tightens.
Rowan glances sideways at me.
“Are you in love with her?”
I choke.
Not only physically. But internally it’s abrupt enough to feel like impact.
I turn sharply to him. “What?”
He shrugs lightly. “Simple question.”
“No,” I say immediately.
Too immediately.
Rowan’s mouth twitches.
“We’re just friends.”
“Mm.”
“It’s not like that between us.”
He takes a slow sip of his drink. “Isn’t it?”
“No.”
He studies me openly now. “But if it could be… would you want it to be?”
The question lands somewhere I don’t want to examine.
Would I…
I don’t answer.
Instead, I look back at Hannah.
She’s thanking one of the guards now, insisting he take cake home to his family.
The guard looks startled but pleased.
Would I want…
“It’s not like that,” I repeat, firmer. “And it won’t be.”
Rowan’s silence is louder than any argument.
He doesn’t believe me.
I grit my teeth slightly. “Drop it.”
He lifts both hands in mock surrender. “Fine.”
We eat in quiet for a few minutes.
But the question lingers.
Would I want it to be?
I take another bite of cake to avoid thinking about it.
Hannah drifts toward us eventually, like she always does.
She touches my arm lightly as she passes, smiling up at me.
“You’re actually eating it.”
“You threatened me into it.”
“I did not.”
“You orchestrated a medical emergency.”
She winces slightly. “I said I was sorry.”
I exhale, unable to suppress the faint smile tugging at my mouth.
She beams like that’s a victory.
Then she floats off again to adjust the music.
Rowan watches her go.
“You’re lying,” he mutters.
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“We are not having this conversation.”
He sighs theatrically.
Time passes more easily after that.
The staff gradually begin filtering out as the hour grows late. The room grows quieter. Softer.
More intimate.
I am almost beginning to relax.
Almost.
Rowan clears his throat beside me.
“Hey. I had a question.”
I glance at him. “About?”
He looks strangely contemplative for once. “Your father.”
That gets my attention.
“What about him?”
He swirls the liquid in his glass casually. Too casually.
“You remember that acquisition he turned down… what was it… twelve years ago? The Helios Infrastructure deal?”
My spine straightens slightly.
“Yes.”
Rowan tilts his head. “Why did he really walk away from it?”
The question is so abrupt, so oddly specific, that I just stare at him.
“That’s random.”
“Curiosity,” he says lightly.
“About a twelve-year-old decision?”
He shrugs. “It was a big one. Would’ve shifted the entire structure of the company.”
“It nearly did.”
“Exactly.”
I narrow my eyes slightly. “Why are you asking?”
He takes his time answering. “I was reviewing some older files. It just struck me as… unusual. The numbers made sense. The long-term projections were strong. Yet he pulled out last minute.”
I feel something close in.
That deal. That decision.
“It’s one of my father’s biggest secrets,” I say evenly. “Even some family members don’t know the full details.”
Rowan’s brows lift faintly. “That serious?”
“Yes.”
He watches me carefully. “So why did he?”
I hold his gaze, mine sharpening.“Why does it matter to you? Why are you suddenly asking?”
He shrugs again, too smooth. “Professional curiosity.”
I don’t buy it.
But before I can press further, Hannah appears between us like a gust of warm air.
“Dance with me.”
I blink. “What?”
“Dance,” she repeats, grabbing my hand before I can refuse.
“I don’t dance.”
“You do tonight.”
“I absolutely do not.”
She pulls harder.
Rowan smirks behind her.
“I’m busy.”
“You’re not.”
“I am.”
“You’re standing.”
She changes the song without warning, something upbeat and entirely too cheerful and tugs me into the open space in the lounge.
I glance over her shoulder at Rowan.
He’s already retreating toward the far corner of the room, where one of the younger maids is laughing shyly at something he says.
He looks… normal. Flirtatious. Relaxed. Unbothered.
So why did that question feel loaded? Hannah’s google brings me back. I sigh.
“Hannah.”
She looks up at me expectantly. “Yes?”
“I don’t dance.”
“You do now.”
And before I can object again, she places one of my hands at her waist and takes the other in hers.
The contact jolts through me.
Her waist is small, curved and warm under my palm. Too warm.
She steps closer, guiding us into a simple sway.
It’s not complicated. She’s not asking for choreography.
Just movement and closeness. I gulp.
“Are you okay?” she asks quietly.
I realize I’ve been staring past her.
“Yes.”
“You zoned out.”
“Just…thinking.”
“About work?”
I hesitate.
Rowan’s question flickers through my mind.
My father’s secret.
Why now? Why today?
“Yes,” I say finally.
She studies my face like she doesn’t quite believe me.
Then she smiles softly. “Then stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Thinking. Just for tonight.”
“I don’t know how.”
She laughs gently. “Try.”
I look down at her.
The room is quieter now. Most of the staff have gone. The lights are low. The music is soft.
It’s just us.
And Rowan in the corner charming someone into blushing.
Hannah’s fingers tighten slightly in mine.
“You came home,” she says softly.
The words land heavier than they should.
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know if you would.”
I frown faintly. “Of course I would.”
“You said you weren’t.”
“That was before I thought you were hurt.”
Her eyes soften.
Something passes between us then.
Would you want it to be? A dangerous question.
I push the thought away.
“It’s not like that,” I mutter under my breath.
“What?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
She tilts her head but doesn’t press. Instead, she steps closer. Our movements slow.
Until it’s barely dancing at all. Just swaying and breathing in the same space.
Her cheek brushes my chest for a second as she adjusts her footing.
My grip tightens involuntarily.
Rowan’s earlier question pulses in the back of my mind.
Are you in love with her? No. We’re just friends. It’s not like that. It cannot be like that.
And yet, she smiles up at me.
And despite what I tell myself, I know I’m fucked.