Chapter 73 – The First No

Chapter 73 – The First No
I should have been suspicious.
Seriously.
My whole life had taught me that whenever Romeu Petráglia became excessively kind, something was going on.
And that week he was dangerously kind.
Dangerously romantic.
Dangerously perfect.
Which could only mean one thing.
Trouble.
Big trouble.
"You're looking at me funny."
Romeu commented during dinner.
"Because you're acting funny."
"I'm naturally charming."
"You're naturally suspicious."
"That too."
I rolled my eyes.
Romeu smiled.
That smile.
The smile that always meant trouble.
Dinner had been his idea.
A small restaurant.
Private.
No photographers.
No press.
No businessmen.
No meetings.
No one.
Just the two of us.
Which was already strange.
Romeu usually turned any outing into a corporate event without even trying.
"So."
I crossed my arms.
"So?"
"What are you up to?"
He placed a hand over his chest.
Offended.
Or pretending to be.
With him, it was never easy to tell.
"Mikaella.
You wound me."
"Answer the question."
"I'm not up to anything."
"Liar."
"Prove it."
"You're wearing the same shirt you wore on our first date."
Romeu froze.
For two seconds.
That was enough.
"I knew it!"
I pointed at him.
"I knew it!"
"Maybe."
"Romeu!"
"Maybe I planned a few things."
"A few?"
"A handful."
"How many?"
"Doesn't matter."
It mattered.
A lot.
But I was already starting to smile.
Which was terrible.
Because Romeu noticed.
Of course he noticed.
After dinner, we walked through the square in front of the restaurant.
The place was almost empty.
The city lights shimmered in the distance.
The breeze was pleasant.
And everything felt dangerously perfect.
Dangerously.
"I hate it when you do this."
I said.
"Do what?"
"You make me happy when I'm trying to stay mad."
Romeu started laughing.
"Was that a compliment?"
"Don't get used to it."
"Too late."
Idiot.
We stopped near the fountain.
For a few seconds, neither of us said anything.
Then Romeu grew serious.
Very serious.
My heart immediately started racing.
"Romeu?"
"Hm?"
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"Maybe."
My stomach dropped.
Because I knew that look.
Not perfectly.
But well enough.
And it made me nervous.
Very nervous.
"Romeu..."
"Mikaella."
"No."
"What?"
"Don't do what I think you're about to do."
The bastard smiled.
"And what do you think I'm about to do?"
"No."
"Excellent answer."
"Romeu."
"Mikaella."
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
My heart practically leaped out of my chest.
Because in that moment, I knew.
I just knew.
Romeu took both of my hands.
Carefully.
Tenderly.
With a gentleness that still surprised me.
Then he looked straight at me.
No joking.
No irony.
No masks.
Just him.
"I love you."
My heart tightened.
Because it didn't matter how many times he said it.
It never felt any less intense.
"Romeu..."
"I love you.
I'll repeat it as many times as necessary."
The tears started to come.
Damn those tears.
Traitors.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I swallowed hard.
"You turned my world upside down.
You changed everything.
You made everything better.
And honestly?
I don't want to imagine a version of my life where you don't exist."
My chest ached.
Because I wanted to hear those words.
So badly.
More than I should have.
"So..."
Romeu took a deep breath.
And pulled a small box from his pocket.
My heart stopped.
It literally stopped.
"No."
He smiled.
"Yes."
"Romeu."
"Mikaella."
"No."
"Yes."
"Romeu!"
"Love of my life, let me finish."
The tears were already streaming down my face.
And I didn't even know why.
Maybe because part of me was unbelievably happy.
And another part was terrified.
Completely terrified.
Romeu opened the box.
The ring sparkled beneath the streetlights.
And my heart sank.
Because it was beautiful.
Because it was Romeu.
Because it was everything I had ever dreamed of.
And because I couldn't.
I just couldn't.
"Marry me."
The words came out simply.
No spectacle.
No audience.
No grand gesture.
Just sincere.
And that was the worst part.
Because it made everything harder.
So much harder.
"Romeu..."
My voice broke.
He was still smiling.
Confident.
Like someone who had no idea what was about to happen.
My God.
"I..."
The tears kept falling.
"Mikaella?"
I closed my eyes.
Because I didn't want to see his expression.
I didn't.
But I had to answer.
I had to be honest.
For the first time.
With him.
With myself.
With both of us.
"No."
The silence was immediate.
Brutal.
Painful.
When I opened my eyes again, his smile was gone.
Completely.
My heart shattered at that very moment.
"Romeu..."
"No."
Now it was his turn.
I took a deep breath.
Trying to stop crying.
Without success.
"I love you."
The words came out desperately.
"I know."
His answer came quietly.
Very quietly.
And that made it worse.
Much worse.
"Then why?"
The question finally came.
The question he deserved to ask.
The question I was terrified to answer.
Because the truth was horrible.
And simple.
"Because I'm afraid."
Romeu stood perfectly still.
"Afraid of what?"
I looked at him.
At the man I loved.
At the man I wanted to spend my life with.
And I whispered:
"Of losing you."
Silence returned.
But this time there was no anger.
No argument.
No pride.
Just two broken hearts trying to understand the very same feeling.