Chapter 30

When I realized that I was holding his hands as tightly as I could, I tried to let go, wide-eyed, how did that seem natural to me?

“I'm not giving up on you, fuck what you're asking me for! This is lip service, and I know it! I will never see you married to someone else without doing something about it.”

His clouded and disappointed look at me made me die a little more inside, I felt my voice crack, and when I was about to say something he left closing the door behind him.

I sat in front of the door, and did what I always did, I cried.

But now, that was real bitterness, knowing you must walk away from someone you love dearly.

When the Lycans finally woke up in that house I could finally leave the room, my eyes were swollen from crying, I spent the whole day like that. Thinking, reflecting on how I had allowed myself to get to that situation, of suffering and pain... And because of the most deceitful reason in the world: Man.

And when afternoon finally fell I heard footsteps down the hall, Hannah's voice echoing along with Jade's. I could bury myself in my room, and it wouldn't feel bad, because the truth is, I didn't want to face Josh or Petros at all. And even so, I kept wondering where Petros had been, who didn't even show up in my room.

I took a deep breath, plucked up courage, and left the room, offering a wan smile to Ben who was passing through the hall, and went down the stairs. The food smelled good, but I was grateful that no one had tried to make me eat.

“Olivia dear, I'm here in the kitchen! Come here"

Called Jade

Josh was sitting on the couch having a beer, he stared at me but I avoided eye contact for a long time.

When I entered the kitchen, I could see Petros sitting on a bench outside the house at the back. Better yet, he was still there.

“Honey, sorry for the embarrassment yesterday, Ben pulled my ear in the bedroom!”

Jade said with a beautiful smile on her face, which I also avoided looking at, it was the same smile as Josh, and what the hell was that? Would he haunt me now in all my thoughts?

“No, never mind, it wasn’t even something serious”

I said smiling trying to cut the subject off as quickly as possible. Jade seemed to understand at the same moment.

Hannah didn't even speak to me, she kept stirring the pot, and her impassive gaze made me shiver, she knew that Josh had gone to my room. She probably thought he and I were up to something.

“Jade, will you excuse me? I'll go see what Petros has... It's all alone out there.”

“Okay, and then come back here… I want to show you something.”

I flashed a shy smile before leaving through the kitchen door, I walked slowly toward Petros, he turned his head to face my steps and as I approached I could see his expression, of anger and horror.

“Hi Petros, what are you doing here alone?”

"I'm thinking a bit."

He spoke dryly.

I sat next to him, watching the calm of that place. I knew Petros wouldn't remain silent for long, he was sure to accuse me of something at some point. It was expected. And the calm would cease to exist.

“You know Olivia, we grew up together, even though we couldn't even speak we've been through so much together, I helped you get over your mother's death, I was there for you when your father made you cry, and yet, you don't feel a connection real with me. I loved you every second of all my days, I never left you or planned a kidnapping to kill you, I went against my bloodline and yet you despise me because of idiot Josh.”

Yeah, I was right, he wouldn't keep quiet.

“That's not true, not at all Petros! I feel a connection with you... And I don't even know where this subject came from. I just… I don't know how the two of us would work.”

“You have a connection with me yes, but not the kind of connection I want. This is so frustrating! Losing again to Josh”

“What's frustrating? Does it tell me? Because I seem to frustrate everyone!”

He stared at me now looking into my eyes to make it clear that he was really serious about everything, it was the face he made when he was glued to something for too long.

“It's frustrating when you feel like you love someone so much, you'd die for them, and they still don't give a shit. This is frustrating!"

And there it was, the facts I couldn't ignore.

But what the fuck had happened to those men? I wasn't even that interested, what were they thinking? All of a sudden I'm the fucking prom queen? But I couldn't say anything, what I did wasn't fair. The moment I let Petros touch my body again, showing hope... I missed. The moment I look at Josh and feel myself flooding I'm wrong too, I'm a deep well of mistakes.

But the truth is that I had to be alone. Neither Petros nor Josh. Just Olivia, trying to deal with everything that's happened, and all the rubbish that's been thrown at me and I've thrown back. That whole heart thing sucked, and I was already tired.

But despite having a thousand things to say to Petros at that time, I decided to simply shut up, it was the right thing to do.

“I'll just tell you one thing, I won't give up on having you for myself. Write it down! In the end, things will end exactly as they should have been from the start, you will end me. You'll just get tired of his jokes, the smell of him, the constant joy of that damn reserve they call a castle, you'll miss home, you'll miss the power, and you'll miss me. You will miss the security I give you!”

I got up irritated with all that, how could they? Are they so arrogant as to decide for me what I'm going to do with my life? Josh decided he wasn't going to give up, and Petros decided that too. And man, it was time for me to regain my old form, I was already being taken by the current too much, and I certainly wasn't put in the world to be submissive to anyone's will.

“You know Petros, I made such an important decision now… You made me think differently.”

He remained just watching me, waiting for my answer about everything he had said.

“I've decided neither you nor Josh, and I'll tell you why… NO ONE RULES ME, and my fate is not in your hands and never will be! So fight each other, I won't be anyone's prize."

I got up, took a deep breath, before leaving that place, and when I entered the kitchen again there was Josh, near the fridge, probably to get another can.

“What happened Olivia? Why that face?"

He said looking at me with wide eyes.