Frank’s eyes were wide open. He seemed revolted by what was happening to his mouth, but for some reason, he wasn’t pushing Estelle away. I thought of intervening and breaking the kiss but lacked the guts. It was too shocking for me, too. Maybe it was Frank’s strategy to see how far the crazy stalker would take this. Was I supposed to take pictures to show to the police or our employers?
I reached for my phone in my back jeans pocket to act on it. I didn’t want to hear an earful from Frank later.
“What the hell!” Frank broke the kiss as expected. It took him thirty seconds, but at least he did it. “Why the hell did you kiss me?” He touched his lips in disgust and rubbed them vigorously as if he could erase a kiss. “Oh lord. I feel assaulted.”
Estelle shrugged her shoulders. “You asked me to kiss you, man, so I did it. What’s the big deal? Was it your first kiss ever?”
“First, I asked you to admit it, not do it,” Frank yelled. “Second, no, it was not my first kiss.”
“Damn.” She circled her eyes. “I thought you were some celibate religious character. You know, waiting for the right person shit.” She clicked her tongue. “You’re just a terrible kisser. You don’t even know what to do with your tongue.”
Frank’s jaw touched the floor. “No one insults my kissing skills. I was shocked and didn’t consent to this. That’s why I didn’t move my lips or tongue. I would call you a terrible kisser because you wanted it. Still, you failed to impress me.” At that point, I wasn’t sure what had offended Frank more. A non-consensual kiss or the fact that someone had insulted his makeout skills?
“I said what I felt. I won’t change my mind because you are saying it,” said Estelle, picking up her headphones. She was visibly trying to irk Frank. But did he see that?
No. Not at all. Because the next thing I saw was Frank kissing her back passionately. He gave it all to that kiss. I recoiled in disgust. It felt like I was watching a real-life porno. Frank was too committed to proving his point, and Estelle seemed to be enjoying it a lot. She had only provoked him to get another kiss. I couldn’t see why a straight woman would want him, but who am I to judge? To each to their own.
By the time they ended the madness, they were both breathless. I wanted to applaud them. Mentally, I already did that.
“See. Isn’t this the best kiss you have ever had?” Frank spoke with a pride-filled smile.
“Maybe.” Estelle shrugged. “It was too short for my liking. Let’s do it again.” She pointed at me. “This time, record us.” She shamelessly leaned in for another kiss, but Frank’s hand blocked her mouth in time. “No. I am not doing this for fun. You insulted my kissing skills, and I was only proving a point. It doesn’t change the fact that you are going to queer hell for assaulting a gay man.”
“Sorry, dude.” Estelle moved her lips downward in regret. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I only kissed you because I had a bet with the other girls that I could make you straight.”
“Who is involved in this demeaning bet?” Frank folded his arms. “You can’t make someone straight. I bet I can turn you gay.”
“Hm.” Estelle moved her gaze from top to bottom on Frank’s body. “When are you transitioning? It depends on how masculine you look. I am fine with minor femininity.”
“Lord.” Frank pulled at his hair and dramatically banged his head against the wall. “It’s impossible to talk to you. Are you on drugs or something? Let me call the head of the cleaning department and ask her to do a sobriety test on you, Estelle.”
“Estelle? Who is Estelle? I am Ava,” she said.
“No.” Frank shook his head. “You’re Estelle. Remember, you told me your name some time ago? Let’s get you some help, and you’ll remember everything.” Frank mouthed the word crazy to me.
“Dude, my parents named me Estelle. My birth certificate says Estelle. Who are you to give me another name?” claimed the unnamed woman. She pulled out her wallet from a pocket and showed her driver’s license, which clearly stated Ava Woods.
“Oh, oh.” Frank looked away, realizing his mistake. “You’re Ava, so who is Estelle?”
“An old lady who quit this job a month ago. I replaced her,” Ava replied.
“Yikes.” Frank dusted and straightened her collar, laughing embarrassedly. “Sorry for not correctly remembering your name. How much are you going to get for winning the bet?”
“They won’t give me anything without proof. So, thanks for nothing,” said Ava rudely.
“Oh, come on. I am a decent man. Let’s do something about this. How about an arrangement? I’ll let you record kissing me to show to your friends, and you’ll help me with other things,” Frank proposed.
“What other things?” Ava asked. “I am not sucking your thing. I have some limits.”
Frank moved his neck uncomfortably by her way of speaking. He scratched his neck and continued to smile. “Not that. I want you to carry the handwriting of someone I will show you. All you have to do is see if it matches with any of the employees of this house. Also, I need a list of people who have a reason to hate me. Both will work the same.”
“Dude, I know at least a hundred people who can’t stand you. Are you sure that’s what you want?” Ava confirmed.
“Okay.” Frank struggled to swallow the truth. He saw himself as a friendly man, wanted by everyone. I liked how Ava gave him a decent reality check. “Let’s stick to the handwriting thing. I will provide you with what’s needed. It’ll only be one sentence, so you better work smartly. Alright?”
Ava agreed. After a long period of useless madness, Frank had done something decent. It was a handwritten letter. That could help us catch the real culprit.