Chapter 21

Chapter 21
Violetta’s POV

“Look at me, Violetta,” she commanded gently, stepping closer.

I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes, terrified of what she might see in mine, so I kept my gaze down. “You need to leave… I could lose control again and hurt you.”

“You haven’t hurt me,” she stated softly.

“Not yet,” I choked out.

She took two more steps toward the side of the bed. As the distance between us closed, I could feel whatever was inside me reacting to her presence in the room. The suffocation in my lungs began to ease slightly, and even the smoke coiling around my forearms started to recede, retreating beneath my skin. I noticed the sudden change immediately, and from the way her eyes widened, I knew she had noticed it too.

Selene stopped just beside the mattress, looking down at my hands. “Did that just… did your magic just back down?”

“I don’t know,” I breathed, staring at my trembling fingers in disbelief.

She took another step towards me and touched my arm.
I lifted my head and stared at her, completely bewildered.

“What are you doing to me?” I whispered.

“Nothing,” she replied, holding her hands up.

“Then why is it stopping when you come near me?” I asked, searching her face for answers that neither of us had. Selene was as normal as they came… so how?

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, Violetta. Maybe you were panicking and now you’re like… not panicking?”

I didn’t entirely believe her words, and from the guarded look in her eyes, I could tell she didn’t quite believe them either.
She paused for a brief moment before sitting down on the bed, leaving only a few inches of space between us. “Come here,” she said gently, patting the blanket beside her.

“You’re completely insane for sitting next to me right now,” I laughed. “Not even scared.”

“Why should I be scared?” she asked with a smirk. “I don’t get scared of anything.”

Selene leaned in slightly, watching my hands closely. “You’re much calmer now.”

I swallowed the dryness in my throat, letting out a long, shuddering breath. “Yes… I am.”

She frowned, her dark eyes studying my profile with intense curiosity. “Why do you think that happens?”

“I don’t know, Selene,” I admitted quietly, shaking my head. “It doesn’t make any sense. But I just… I woke up like that.”

“I am thinking you might have triggers. So you need to, you know… find a way to control it.”

“I guess.”

She sat in contemplative silence for a moment before she slowly pushed herself up from the bed. “I should go find Lyra and tell her you’re awake. She’s quite… well you know… she may have answers.”

The moment she turned her back and took two steps toward the door, I started to feel weird again.

I gasped aloud, clutching at the front of my shirt as my vision darkened at the edges. “Selene, wait!”

She spun around instantly, her eyes widening in alarm as she saw the smoke already creeping up my wrists and coiling around my throat like dark vines. She froze in place, seeing the panic that was probably written on my face.

“Please… come back,” I managed to choke out, reaching a trembling hand toward her. I didn’t want to ask for help, or drag her into this, especially after I hurt her. And also because of how bloody it might get if I involved her. But for some reason this darkness inside of me and the urge I was getting seemed to stop when I was near her.

I could not rely on her forever and it wasn’t because she was unreliable. But what if something happened to her? Plus this wasn’t her cross to bear. I had to learn to stop this on my own and find a remedy.

I looked down at my bare arms, then looked up into her eyes. “That shouldn’t be happening. That defies every law of magic I’ve ever studied. I don’t… I’m sorry, you should go.”

“If staying here makes you feel better, I’ll stay.”

“You have things to do, Selene. I don’t deserve your help… or your relief for whatever reason this may be happening. You have a life I’m not part of.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, I wonder why that is… oh wait… you didn’t want me to be a part of it.”

I closed my eyes briefly and opened them. “I explained that to you, Selene. It was complicated.”

“Look, forget I said anything.”

“I don’t know why this is happening. I’m sorry that you’re…”

“Maybe it’s just you,” she said, cutting me off.

I stared at her, confused by the statement. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean you calm down when I’m in the room with you,” she said plainly, gesturing between the two of us. “Weird. But I mean… yesterday night… this morning.”

“Yeah. That doesn’t make any logical sense, Selene,” I argued, shaking my head in denial. “We haven’t spoken properly in four years, and we spent the last few days screaming at each other.”

“Neither does half the shit that happens around us every single day,” she shot back, raising an eyebrow at me.

Despite the exhaustion dragging at my bones and the absolute mess my life had become, the corners of my lips twitched, and I almost smiled. Almost.

She took a seat again. “Try it right now while I’m sitting here.”

“Try what?” I asked, glancing at her sideways.

“Try to summon your magic and control it,” she instructed softly. “See what happens when you don’t fight it in panic.”

“I don’t mind having fae magic,” I groaned. “That’s a part of me… but I don’t want these demonic urges I get. It’s part of why I displayed Gwen’s body and that was even when I had a hex. I just… there’s no good. If I was only angel…”

“That’s what you think,” she told me. “Angels are demons. And demons are angels… I think it’s intent. I’ve read the folklore… the good demons. It’s ironic, but there are.”

“Right?”

“So are you going to try or should I tell Lyra about this?”