Chapter 20 When truth cut deep
IRIS
I push the door open to the classroom, not expecting anyone to be in yet, especially not Adrian. But there he is, seated at one of the front tables, hands interlocked on the surface, eyes locked on absolutely nothing.
I pause in the doorway, tilting my head slightly. “Okay… now I know pigs are flying outside. You’re early?”
No response.
I blink. “Did you hit your head this morning? Or are we in an alternate universe where Adrian McAlister shows up before me for tutoring?”
Still nothing. Not even the usual lazy smirk or sarcastic retort.
I narrow my eyes. “Hello? Earth to Adrian?” I walk in, dropping my bag loudly on the table next to his. “What’s up with you?”
He finally blinks. Slowly. Then turns to look at me.
And it’s not the usual look. Not the mischievous, flirtatious gleam I’ve grown weirdly used to. No, this one is quiet. Heavy. Almost too serious.
The way he looks at me makes my stomach tighten. His eyes don’t just see me, they look into me, and it’s unsettling.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “Okay, now you’re really freaking me out. What’s wrong?”
His voice is quiet when he finally speaks. “I know.”
I blink again, confused. “You know… what?”
He doesn’t break eye contact. “About the mark.”
I stiffen.
I do a double take. “I don’t- what are you talking about?”
Adrian cocks his head slightly, the serious edge in his voice still very much present. “Don’t do that.”
I swallow hard. “Do what?”
“Play dumb.”
I drop my gaze to the table, fingers fumbling with the zipper of my bag. “I don’t know what you think you know.”
“I know that Darian accidentally marked you.” His voice is lower now, but it cuts right through me.
My head jerks up, and my eyes go wide.
He saw the reaction. The silence confirms it for him.
“You’re not even going to deny it now, are you?”
I take a second to breathe. “Did… Did Darian tell you?”
Adrian nods once.
I stare down at the table, mouth slightly open, but no words coming out.
“How long have you known?” I finally ask, voice barely a whisper.
“Since a few days ago,” he replies. “He told me himself.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why would he tell you that?”
“Because I asked.” Adrian’s eyes darken. “Because I caught his scent in your bedroom. Just like he caught yours on me.”
I wince.
He leans back in his chair, folding his arms, but his gaze never leaves mine. “I just didn’t expect you to keep it from me too.”
I open my mouth. “I didn’t know how to say it.”
Adrian shrugs slightly, but there’s an edge to his body language. “You didn’t need to say anything. I figured it out.”
The silence stretches again. It presses on me like a weight.
He finally speaks again, softer this time. “Why didn’t you tell me, Iris?”
I hate the way my name sounds in his mouth right now. Not playful. Not teasing. Just wounded.
“I didn’t ask for it to happen,” I mutter, arms folding over my chest protectively. “It just happened.”
He sighs and runs a hand down his face. “I know. He told me it was an accident.”
“That’s what it was,” I say quickly. “An accident.”
He studies me for a beat too long.
“Is that what you keep telling yourself?” he asks quietly.
My mouth opens… but I don’t answer.
Because I don’t know.
Maybe it was just an accident. Maybe it didn’t mean anything.
But the way I feel every time I smell him in my room, the way my heart reacted when I saw Adira kiss him, the way I’ve been breaking down ever since, none of that feels like it came from an accident.
Adrian doesn’t press the question. Maybe he sees the answer in my silence.
He finally sighs again and pushes away from the table, standing slowly.
“I’m not mad,” he says. “I just, I thought you trusted me.”
I look up at him. “I do.”
He gives me a half-smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Then maybe next time, don’t keep something like that to yourself.”
Before I can respond, he turns and starts walking toward the door.
My chest feels heavy. I want to say something, anything, but nothing feels right.
So I just sit there, the silence settling back in, heavier than before.
Adrian’s footsteps haven’t fully faded when I finally find my voice.
“Wait.” My voice cracks slightly as I say it.
He pauses at the door, glancing over his shoulder.
I push myself up from the chair. “You know now. So tell me the truth.”
He fully turns, leaning against the doorframe. “About?”
I exhale shakily, stepping closer. “The real reason Darian is avoiding me.”
Adrian’s face twitches like he’d hoped I wouldn’t ask. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a breath that sounds too heavy for someone usually so flippant.
“Iris, it’s not simple.”
“It never is,” I murmur. “But I need to know.”
He hesitates a beat too long, then walks back in and shuts the door. The air changes as he steps closer again. “There’s something most people don’t know,” he says. “Something only a few of us in the family ever talk about.”
I wait, not daring to breathe.
Adrian’s jaw clenches. “Years ago, during a brutal rogue ambush, Darian killed his mate.”
My brain blanks. “What?”
“He didn’t know she was his mate,” Adrian adds quickly. “Not until it was too late. She’d come to fight alongside the others, nobody knew who she was. She was masked, fast, dangerous. They thought she was one of the rogues. And in the chaos…”
I can feel my heartbeat thudding in my ears.
“He drove a dagger into her chest. Straight into her heart.” Adrian’s voice lowers. “And the second her blood hit the floor, the second she gasped, he knew.”
“Oh my God,” I whisper, hands covering my mouth.
“He felt it. The bond. Right as it broke.” Adrian's voice softens. “She died in his arms.”
I don’t know what to say. My body feels like it’s been dunked into ice.
“And now,” Adrian continues, “he’s convinced that history will repeat itself. That he’s not meant to have a mate. That he’s dangerous.”
I touch my neck unconsciously. The mark.
Adrian notices. “That’s where he marked you, isn’t it?”
I nod slowly. “On the side.”
He sighs. “You need to move on, Iris.”
My eyes snap up to his.
“I’m serious,” he says. “He won’t choose you. Not because you’re not worthy, hell, you probably scare him more than anything else, but because he can’t. His guilt, his duty to the Lycan king, to our bloodline, it won’t let him.”
I blink back the burn in my eyes. “So what, I’m just supposed to forget about the bond? Pretend I don’t feel anything?”
“I’m not saying it’s fair.” Adrian shrugs. “But Darian? He’ll choose the realm. Every. Single. Time.”
I wrap my arms around myself, chilled to my bones. “He could’ve told me.”
“He probably thinks ignoring you is mercy,” Adrian mutters. “He probably thinks it’s safer for you if he stays away.”
I look down, biting my bottom lip.
“Look,” Adrian says more gently, “he’s not heartless. But he’s locked in. Always has been. Ever since that day. You? You’re not just someone he wants. You’re a risk.”
I meet his gaze. “And if he’s wrong? If he walks away from this and it breaks us both?”
Adrian hesitates. “Then you’ll survive. We all do. Eventually.”
But it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like something irreversible has shifted inside me. Something permanent.
I don’t know how I feel.
I don’t know if I’m hurt or angry or just tired.
But one thing I know for certain?
Darian McAlister is hiding behind his past, and I might be the one paying for it.