Chapter 52 The Queen in Waiting
Amarien's POV
I got into trouble with Catherine again.
I woke up this morning with heavy kicks from my baby. Thankfully, my bumps aren't obvious, so no one knows yet.
Corvin hasn't spoken to me in weeks because of the stunt I pulled off at the Emperor's estate. I've been left alone by most of the maidens in the palace, and honestly, I prefer it this way.
I've tried isolating myself for days to avoid anyone looking at me. I thought I could pull it off for so long, but who am I kidding?
Catherine's gang barged into my room this morning, accusing me of failing to adhere to another arbitrary regulation from Catherine.
Yes, Catherine gang, that's what they call themselves. They consist of older concubines whom the Emperor has long forgotten. Since it's still commonly believed that Catherine will be Queen, they intend to win her favour so they can serve under her court.
Yes, it's indeed possible for a concubine to be spared by just the Queen herself if she chooses them.
Since there is a race to escape the nunnery when the Emperor dies, everyone is doing what they can to escape it.
Even if it means acting horribly under the "Queen-to-be's" command.
"You were supposed to be out for the Royal concubine's feast!" One of Catherine's minions lashes at me.
"You get the fine for cleaning the whole Royal Rose garden of the outer courts!" Another declared, throwing a stamp on my face as I stirred out of bed, tired.
The Royal Rose garden?
Not the Royal Rose garden! It's filled with thorns!
Besides, I could process my sins and the charges against me. They whipped a bowl of cold water on my face and dragged me out of the room to the Royal Rose garden.
As I swipe through the dried fallen leaves. I tried my best to avoid the thorns hidden in the green grass. Most of them pricked my hands and legs as I moved through the garden, making them bleed.
But I was grateful that I wasn't asked to clean the whole outer courts or lower courts this time.
I'm even more grateful that no guard was standing over my head with a whip ready to strike me down.
As I swept the garden, my stomach pricked again. It's hard to understand this child I had. The midwives said the baby usually becomes active in the sixth month.
It's been barely two weeks since I discovered I'm pregnant, and the baby is very much active.
Yeah, I felt sick as I worked under the scorching sun. But I tried hard not to let these things get to me. Not when I had even heavier matters weighing in my heart.
After I missed my chance to warm the Emperor's bed, news broke out that the Emperor had been unconscious since. Corvin told me I had missed an opportunity of a lifetime, as the Emperor was fully conscious and ready to receive me when we arrived at his estate.
I have no idea what Corvin means by me missing a chance, but I know one thing: Daevir gave me his word. I need to trust him.
However, trusting Daevir is what fills my heart with anxiety now.
I just can't fight this nagging feeling in my chest that Corvin might be right. And I chose wrong.
Don't get me wrong. I know Daevir has the power to rescue me from the insult of the nunnery and make me his Queen over Catherine.
Yet I still don't understand why he hasn't done it. Catherine has been prancing around, claiming to be the Queen-to-be. She has particularly gotten bolder now that the Emperor has become unconscious and unable to function.
I understand that Daevir can't declare me his Queen now since I'm still his father's wife. I know he can't proclaim our love publicly, or I'll pay heavily, and he won't be spared.
I understand he has to pretend not to know or speak to me when we are at public events, though he lusts after me privately. I understand his hesitations about getting any closer or not showing up to visit me.
But why can't Daevir end the courtship once and for all with Princess Catherine? Why does she keep getting away with being cruel and forming a cult-like following in the palace?
Every time Daevir holds me and tells me he loves me. I believe him, but I fight nagging anxiety and guilt afterwards.
Anxiety that stems from how many people Daevir will have to kill to make me Queen. Because, like it or not, his obsession with making me Queen will bring more troubles than good.
It's one thing that everyone in the palace believes I'm the cursed concubine who is responsible for destroying the seated Emperor. You could imagine their shock when they find out I've moved from the seated Emperor's concubine to his son as the Queen of the realm.
There will be resignations, protests, riots, and even more. I'm not like Catherine, who brings political influence from the West to the East. I'm not even like Velmira, who came from a very prominent political family that could wield influence in the empire to keep her on the helm as Queen.
I'm a nobody.
Daevir would have to slaughter thousands of men to keep me on that seat. And only the gods know for how long.
There are tales of assassination. Where Eunuchs plan the assassination of a courtier who tries to take power from them, they do it well and subtly so that they can't be trailed.
I can imagine someone working to kill my child in the palace. It breaks my heart to think of it.
The other side of this nagging anxiety is if things fall apart and I end up in the nunnery. That will be the end of my life, and I hope that never happens.
Right now. I did not need to be anxious (though I feel anxious heavily); everything is going well. Daevir has been assuming the Emperor role and has been very busy in the courts, putting things in place.
The last time I saw him was in his father's crimson imperial robes, talking to some councilmen.
He looked really handsome. His amber eyes held the gentleness of a ruler, and his voice was firm yet kind. He will indeed be the ruler the empire needs.
And I am indeed proud of him.
Sometimes I imagine my life ruling by his side as Empress of the realm. I'll be dressed in criminal silk with elaborate hair accessories and jewelry. Our little child would run around us, happy and proud.
I touched my stomach, feeling the light pulse there.
"I'll keep you safe no matter what," I said to my baby.
"Concubine Amarien…"
A voice from behind shook me up. I whipped around, and it was Zephyr.
What is he doing here?!
Zephyr remained bowed for a moment before lifting his head to meet my eyes. "The Prince of the Realm needs your attention."