Chapter 27 You make me lose control, Amarien!
Amarien's POV
Blood and tears ran down my cheeks. I pressed my hands to my wounds, fighting back tears. Pain gnawed at my skin. I wanted to scream and run.
Daevir's eyes fizzled to tears. “I didn't mean to…” he tried to reach out to me, but I flinched.
I was too scared. At that moment, I couldn't tell if it was Daevir or the beast within him.
“Your highness?” I whimpered
“Amarien…” tears pooled in both his eyes. He stood there, shocked, his bloody hands shivering.
And then he said, “I told you,”
“Your highness…” I muttered
“I told you I was a monster, Amarien! I told you there was no solution! I told you to stay away from me…”
My heart ached harder than the pain in my flesh.
I managed to wipe my tears, stepping closer to him. “Your highness…it's not your fault...”
He pushed himself away from me like he was scared he would harm me if he touched me. We both stopped, staring at each other, pain in our eyes.
Destiny has brought us both to this painful reality. A reality we both tried and failed to ignore. Humans and werewolves don't mix. And if they do, something terrible happens.
We were forbidden from the start.
We both shared a cursed fate.
What was I thinking?!
“I'm sorry.” He muttered. “I couldn't control myself…”
I blinked and forced a smile. “Don't apologise for what you didn't do…” I pushed myself closer, one step at a time, closer and closer to him.
Daevir flinched like he was terrified he would tear me into pieces.
“I'm sorry, Amarien.” Tears ran freely.
I must have lost so much blood moving to him. I collapsed in his arms when I got closer. Daevir panicked even harder. He held me to himself.
“Amarien! Amarien! Stay with me!”
He carried me in his arms and bolted up to the village. There must be a healer right around the corner of the entrance to the villages.
All I need is to stop this bleeding. I felt the sky blur before me. I felt everything grow hazy… and suddenly… black.
…
I woke up in a warm room that smelt of bamboo and pine. A strange humming hung in the air, a humming I felt had been on long before I woke up.
My eyes steered across the room looking for Daevir. My heart ached for him. But all I saw was an old little man stirring a cauldron.
“Where is Daevir?” I spat and suddenly winced in pain. “Ouch!” I held my shoulder.
The pain still feels fresh despite being freshly bandaged. My clothes were changed, and my body was wiped with herbal leaves. I could recognise the scent of these leaves because Grandma Chichi uses them on me when I get a wound.
The man in the room kept stirring and stirring, his eyes fixed on the pot, not even looking at me once.
“Where am I?” I looked around. This looks to be a very humble bamboo hut deep in the forest.
Daevir must have dropped me with a sharman. But where is he?
“Sir, I would like to ask where my friend…”
“Shhh!” The old man hushed me. “You know better than to talk when you should be healing. Keep your mouth shut and let the herbal teas I have you work on your bones.”
Gosh! He sounds so much like Grandma Chichi.
“I just want to know if…”
“Shhhhhh!” He hushed with even more aggression. This time, he turned to look at me with his gentle beady eyes.
“Relax, Concubine Amarien,” he said. “Prince Daevir already explained everything that happened. He has informed the palace of your attack; the emperor knows you're safe.”
I blinked in confusion.
“I don’t understand. What did Daevir…” then it struck me.
I indeed was meant to serve the emperor tonight before Daevir turned to a werewolf and burst out of the room.
We were THIS close to being bursted!
I sigh!
He saved me, again.
Not only did he protect me from being raped, but he also told his father that I had been attacked.
If Daevir hadn't done that, then I would have no place to go. Returning to the palace will bring death to my head.
“As we speak, the Emperor has sent his mercenaries to come fetch you.” The old man continued. He fetched a portion from the cauldron and stepped up on me, handing me the portion.
“Drink now, Amarien. You mustn't appear ill when the emperor comes for you.”
I nodded, collected the portion, and drank.
Gross!
It was awful!
The old man nodded at my wincing and irritation, as if he could see the portion working already. He grabbed the bowl and returned to his station, humming.
I watched him for a moment, my head pounding with a million questions I wanted to ask him. But how would I do that without him screeching at me to be quiet?
“Will Prince Daevir be back?” I quickly blurred. I couldn't help myself.
“Prince Daevir.” The old man hummed. “He left a note for you. Right under your pillow.” He said and continued humming.
I didn't wait for a go-ahead; I whipped around the next second, throwing my pillow off to get the note. The old man was right. Daevir left me a note.
As my shaky hands tore through the notes, I couldn't help but think…
Daevir!
I hope you're alright. I hope you've not been too hard on yourself.
I forgive you. I want you to know I forgive you. You didn't mean to harm me. You never did.
My mind jumped to the moments right before he shifted.
I had never felt like that all my life. Daevir touched me so tenderly, so passionately that I wanted more.
I wanted him to touch me more.
Because his touch made me feel loved.
My heart ached at the thought of it. The thought of wanting Daevir so much.
But now he's out of reach. If he were right here, I would have held him to myself and never let him go. I'd tell him to kiss me, to hold me, as we would never see the light of the next day.
I won't even care about the humming man in the room.
Daevir! Where are you?!
I finally opened the letter and read through it.
“Amarien,
I’m only writing this once.
Stay away from me.
What happened tonight wasn’t weakness or a moment I lost control. It was you. You make me lose control. Your scent, your softness, the way you look at me…every bit of it turns me into something feral. Something that wants to tear, claim, and destroy. You bring out the worst in me just by breathing.
I won’t let you ruin me again. I won’t let you push me past the edge of my sanity with your presence. I don’t want your kindness. I don’t want your touch.
I don’t want you.
Do not come near me.
Do not speak my name.
Do not try to see me.
Forget whatever you thought I was. Forget whatever you think you saw in me. I am exactly what you faced tonight.
If you show up in front of me again, Amarien, I will have you seized and thrown into a cell before you manage a single word. I’d rather see you locked behind iron bars than anywhere near me.
And I am better off never breathing you in again.
Do not test me.
Do not come back.
Daevir”
I felt my hands trembling, and my knees buckled.
A trumpet blasted through the quiet bamboo walls of the hut. With it came a clarion call that shook me to my core.
“The emperor is here!”