Chapter 166 – The Ritual Plea
Eli
I know exactly where to find him when I wake alone in our bed, my insides roiling apprehensively.
It’s well past midnight, but Ronan’s still at his desk. Maps spread in front of him, candle burned down to a crooked stub. He sits like a carved statue, jaw clenched, eyes hollow with the weight of everything.
I lean against the doorway with my arms folded. Normally I’d bait him, toss a sharp word to make him snap out of it. But tonight I don’t.
“Come to bed,” I say quietly.
His eyes flick to me, then back to the parchment. “Soon.”
He won’t. Soon means dawn. Soon means he’ll sit here grinding himself to dust while I lie in an empty bed. Something inside me frays at the thought. I cross the floor, bare feet silent on the stone, and stop beside him.
“Ronan.” I know he’s going to fight me on this, but I’m not budging.
He exhales heavily, and finally drags his gaze from the map. “What?”
“I want you to do the ritual again.”
His eyes sharpen instantly, the Alpha steel cutting through his exhaustion. “No.”
The word lands like a boulder. But I don’t flinch. “Yes.”
“I said no.”
He pushes back from the desk, rising to his full height, towering over me. Normally, that would thrill me. The rush of being pinned under his power, the ache to bait him further until he proves he owns me. But not tonight. Tonight there’s no smirk in me. No brat. Just the bare, raw truth.
My throat works around words that taste like razor blades. “I need you to. Please.”
Ronan frowns, the first crack in his armor. “Eli-”
“No, listen.” My voice breaks, and I hate it. I hate showing him this, the fear that gnaws at me in the quiet hours. But I can’t keep it buried anymore.
I press a hand to his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heart. “You don’t understand what it does to me, imagining you… gone. Do you know what I’d be without you? Nothing. A hollow sack of flesh. I’ve been caged before, I’ve been used before, but at least I could breathe through it. Without you, I wouldn’t even want to breathe.”
His hands flex at his sides and I can see in his eyes how my words are tearing at him.
“You think I’m being dramatic,” I whisper. “But it’s more than a fear of being lonely. It’s my sanity, Ronan. My soul. My will to live. It’s tethered to you. You ground me. You give me back pieces of myself I didn’t know I’d lost. If you die, if they take you, I won’t survive it.”
The words are too much, too bare, and part of me cringes as they spill out. I’ve never begged like this. I’ve begged for sex, for touch, for release. Never for his life. Never for the one thing he already swore he’d protect. But the fear has been building for weeks, gnawing at the edges of my ribs until it’s all I can taste.
His eyes close, pain etched deep. “Eli.”
“I love you.” The words tear from me like flesh from bone. “I love you so much it terrifies me. I can’t survive without you. I don’t want to survive without you. So if there’s a way to make you stronger, to keep you safe, then we do it. We don’t argue, we don’t delay. We do it.”
Ronan’s hands are on me then, gripping my arms as if to steady me. His forehead presses to mine, breath hot and ragged.
“The ritual amplifies my voice. If I lose control for even a moment, I could strip the will from wolves who don’t deserve it. I could enslave them without meaning to.”
“Then trust yourself.” My nails dig into his tunic. “You always tell me you’ll never be your father. Prove it. Use the gift without falling to his curse. Do it for me. For us.”
“I’ve seen what happens when power goes unchecked,” he growls. His voice drops, low and bitter. “I grew up under it. Every command my father gave seared into my bones, whether I wanted it or not. That’s what terrifies me, Eli. That I could become him without even meaning to.”
“You won’t,” I insist. My voice is shaking but I press harder, desperate to be heard.
“You can’t. You’re not him. You’ve already chosen differently. You lead with loyalty, not fear. You listen to the stupid council when you know you don’t have to. You love me, when you could have kept me as your possession. That’s why I trust you with this. You don’t have to use the voice, just have it in your back pocket in case the worst happens.”
His jaw tightens, veins standing out in his neck. Silence drags out long enough to make me ache. I can feel him weighing every word, every shadow of his father, every scar he still carries.
I feel tears sting my eyes, hot and humiliating. “Please.” The word tastes like surrender. “Please, Ronan. I need you to do this. If you love me-”
His growl cuts me off. “Don’t.” His grip bruises my arms, his eyes blazing gold. “Don’t ever question that.”
“Then show me.” My voice cracks. “Show me you’ll fight to stay with me, no matter what it takes.” I’m not proud of what I’m doing. I know this is emotional blackmail. But if it means he survives, I don’t care. We’ll deal with the fall-out later.
His chest heaves against mine and I see the moment he breaks. The way his shoulders sag, the way his eyes soften even as they blaze. Shame curdles my stomach, but I’m not noble enough to let him off the hook.
He pulls me into him, crushing me against his chest. His voice is hoarse when he says, “I love you. Gods, Eli, I love you so much it’s tearing me apart. I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I swear it.”
A sob slips out of me, muffled against his shirt. Relief, guilt and terror twist together, burning through me until I can’t tell them apart.
Ronan tips my chin up, his thumb brushing away the wetness on my cheek.
“You’re my mate. My heart. My strength. I’d burn the world to keep you safe. If doing the ritual will give you peace of mind, I’ll do it. We know it enhances my physical strength as well. I’ll make sure not to let the voice touch anyone else.”
My chest aches and my throat is too raw to speak. I just nod, clinging to him like he’s the only thing worth holding on to. Because he fucking is. He’s mine.
He kisses me then, slow and consuming, pouring every vow into my mouth. The bond hums with it, thick and golden, wrapping around us until I feel woven into him, flesh and soul.
When he pulls back, he stares deep into my eyes, his honey gaze burning with sincerity. “No matter what comes, Eli, you’re never losing me. Not to Alaric. Not to war. Not to anything.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” I whisper.
We stand like that for a long time. I breathe him in, cedar, smoke, the sharp tang of his sweat, and know it’s the only thing keeping me steady. He strokes the back of my neck, rough hand gentling me in a way that makes my chest twist.
“You’re so stubborn,” he murmurs. “The most infuriating Omega alive.”
“Your Omega,” I correct, voice thick. “And you love it.”
“I do.” The admission comes out raw, like it costs him something to say it aloud. “I’d sooner stop breathing than stop loving you.”
It wrecks me. My eyes sting again, and I bury my face in his chest to hide it. For once, I don’t care if he knows how weak I am. Maybe it isn’t weakness at all. Maybe it’s the strongest thing I’ve ever done, to let him see how much of me belongs to him.
He doesn’t push me away. He holds me tighter, until my bones feel like they might fuse to his.
We’ll find a way through this. Together.