Chapter 159 Hard Decisions

Chapter 159 Hard Decisions
ARYA'S POV 

I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and all morning, I kept replaying it in my head.

I couldn't forget the feel of his hands on my face or the desperation in every touch.

In the kitchen, I was supposed to be making breakfast, but I burned the toast twice.

"Arya, are you alright?" Mom asked, rescuing the smoking bread from the toaster. "You seem distracted."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just tired."

But I wasn't fine. I was a mess.

Later, I tried to play with Dante in the nursery, but I couldn't focus. 

He kept showing me his toys and laughing, and I kept drifting off, thinking about Giovanni's face when I pulled away from him on the balcony.

"Mama, more!" Dante demanded, shoving a block at me.

I blinked, snapping out of it. "Right, yes. More blocks."

Christabel noticed too when she came to visit. "Are you sick? You seem weird."

"I'm not sick." I forced a tight smile.

She didn't look like she believed. "You're acting weird. Your eyes are all dreamy."

"They are not." I shot quickly. 

Dad just watched me over breakfast with a knowing expression that made me want to crawl out of my skin.

When I finally got to Dr. Rossi's office that afternoon, I knew I had to tell her.

"I kissed him," I blurted out the moment I sat down. “I mean Giovanni.”

Dr. Rossi's expression didn't change. "Tell me what happened."

I recounted the balcony scene, especially how Giovanni had looked, what he had said, how he had begged me to kiss him, and how I... complied.

"And how do you feel about it?" Dr. Rossi asked calmly.

"Confused. Angry at myself. And-" I hesitated, "and like I want to do it again."

She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "That's a normal response."

"It doesn't feel normal." I shook my head. 

She chuckled, leaning closer. "You experienced intense emotion with someone you have a complicated history with.” 

“Your body responded. That's chemistry, Arya.” She pointed out with a lopsided grin. “Physical attraction."

I groaned, already starting to feel like no one could understand me. "It's not just physical attraction." 

The words came out before I could stop them. "I've been thinking about it all day.”

"You might feel this way with anyone in a similar situation," Dr. Rossi suggested.

"No." I shook my head firmly. "It's not that. It's him. It's specifically him."

We talked through it for the rest of the session, but Dr. Rossi kept trying to reduce it to something simple and explainable.

But it wasn't simple.

It was complicated and messy and terrifying.

Even after the session, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

The tortured expression on his face when he had walked away. And the way his hands had shaken slightly when he had touched me. 

The fact that he had actually begged for just one kiss.

I was lost in thought when I spotted the maids carrying a large arrangement of white roses toward the trash bin.

"Wait!" I called out, rushing over. "Don't throw those away."

The maids looked at me in shock. "Miss Arya? But you always-"

I was suddenly nervous, shifting on my feet. "I know. But these ones... just put them in my room, please."

They exchanged confused glances but did as I asked.

In my room, I found the card attached to the bouquet. It was in Giovanni's handwriting and I was almost upset that I remembered it. 

“Arya,

I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss. 

Every moment without you is torture, but that moment you let me kiss you, it was the first time I've felt alive since you left.

I know I have no right to ask for anything but I had to try.

If that kiss was a moment of weakness, I understand. But if there's any part of you that felt what I felt, please know that I'm here. Always.

Giovanni.”

I held the card to my chest, unable to stop smiling. Then I caught myself and forced the smile away.

This was dangerous. This was the kind of thinking that led to heartbreak and pain.

But the flowers were beautiful, so I put them in a vase on my dresser where I could see them.


Dante's first birthday party was in full swing.

The garden was decorated with colorful balloons and streamers. A massive three-tier cake sat on a table, covered in frosting and candles. 

Family and friends crowded around, cooing over my beautiful baby boy.

It was a month since I received that card from Giovanni, ironically, it was the last one he sent. 

But I didn't care. I was doing better. The nightmares had become less frequent and I was working at a tech company.

One of Dad’s friends owned it, and they gave me a job in their design department. 

My coworkers were friendly and professional, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was building a normal life.

Jasmine was here, heavily pregnant now, Enzo hovering around her like she might break. 

She hugged me tight. "How are you doing?"

I smiled brightly. "Much better."

And it was true. The flashbacks had stopped and I was sleeping peacefully through the night again.

I heard an excited yelp and followed the sound to see Giovanni walking in.

He wore dark jeans and a fitted black shirt that emphasized his broad shoulders and narrow waist. 

His dark hair was slightly messy, like he had run his hands through it repeatedly. And he was talking to Dante, who was babbling excitedly and reaching for him.

My mother stood nearby, smiling, and I realized she invited him.

My heart rate spiked. I turned and fled to the kitchen, needing space to think.

I was gripping the edge of the counter when he appeared in the doorway.

"Arya."

I didn't turn around.

"Thank you," he said softly. "For letting me be part of Dante's birthday. It means everything to me."

"You should go back to the party," I managed to say.

He moved closer, and I felt trapped between him and the counter. "Do I make you nervous?"

My breath caught. "No."

"You're lying. Your hands are shaking."

I looked down and realized he was right. My hands were trembling.

He reached out to touch my arm, and I turned to face him. He was so close and I could see the desire in his eyes mirroring what I felt in my own chest.

Four months since that kiss. And the only dream that plagued me was what could have happened if I asked for more. 

He leaned in, and I felt myself being pulled toward him like gravity.

Our lips were almost touching but I shifted away abruptly.

"It was a mistake," I rushed out. "The kiss from that night. It was a mistake."

Giovanni's face fell. "Arya-"

"We can't do this. I can't," I pushed past him, needing air.

He caught my arm gently, staring into my eyes. "Will you ever forgive me? Do I even have a chance here?” 

I stopped and thought about everything. I thought about all the ways he had failed me and my stubborn refusal to let it go.

"No," I said quietly. "No, I don't think I will."

I pulled my arm free and walked away, leaving him standing alone in the kitchen.

Yet my heart ached the entire time.