Chapter 18
Damian’s POV
I left Arielle’s room with my pulse pounding in my ears the image of her, still damp from the shower, her skin flushed pink from the heat, was seared into my mind. I hadn’t meant to catch her like that—I had only been bringing her breakfast. The sight of her, flustered and wrapped in only a towel, had left me flustered too. I had to done my best to make her comfortable, that was why I had gone back the next day with books and snacks.
And while she had ignored me, that brief moment when I had seen the way her eyes flickered toward the books when I set them down.
That was enough. I cursed under my breath clenching my fists, trying to shake the lingering heat in my veins.
I had rejected her. That should have severed our bond very clearly especially since I had no right to feel anything for her, no right to crave her touch or imagine how her lips would feel under mine. She wasn’t mine to want—not anymore I had made damned sure of that when I let her go. I exhaled sharply, forcing my thoughts to clearer and more safer territory.
All I had to worry about for now was keeping her safe.
That was all. The rogues who had attacked her weren’t just random wanderers looking to cause trouble, they were after her because of me, it had taken some time but I finally knew what they were after and I was working on getting it back.
I had a duty—to my pack, so I needed to keep her content until I could figure out what to do next.
But that did not include mating her. I didn’t know how yet but I would soon, I just needed time to figure out who had sent them, and why they thought Arielle was the key to whatever they were after even if they were right.
Until then, I had to make sure she stayed under my watch but she wasn’t exactly making it easy and I couldn't really blame her for that either .
After a few days it had become clear that her refusal to eat had been more of an act of defiance, than anything else she wanted nothing to do with me and she wanted me to know it but I couldn’t even blame her. I had rejected her and then bound her to me selfishly a mistake that had likely ruined her future, making her my mate in name while denying her in reality.
I ran a hand through my hair and leaned against the desk in my study, staring at the reports in front of me.
I made sure to double the patrols ever since the rogue attack, but there were no further signs of them near the pack’s borders and it had only made me more uneasy.
Whoever was behind this wouldn’t give up so easily but I didn't know where they were and that made it worse.
I gritted my teeth and kept on reading, and I spent most of the day doing it, I thought back to her frequently thinking about her and a way to make her feel more comfortable at least I stood up from my desk, I had to do something.
I made my way back to her room but this time, I wasn’t carrying a tray of food or books. I had a different plan, I knocked once before opening the door– I really didn't want to surprise anyone else.
She was sitting on the bed her legs crossed, a book resting on her lap, the cookies I had left were mostly untouched, but at least one had been nibbled at.
Good.
At least she was eating something,she looked up at me, from her book her eyes narrowing instantly.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice clipped.
“I need fresh air,” I said. “Join me for a walk.” She let out a sharp laugh.
“Join you?” her gaze flickered over me filled with amusement and disbelief. I crossed my arms.
"You need fresh air. You've been locked in here for days. I thought you might want a change of scenery so–"
“So you are asking your hostage to take a stroll with her captor? How charming.” I exhaled, fighting the urge to rub my temples.
“Arielle—”
" Can we not fight" I muttered and she winced.
“I’m asking seriously, Damian,” she interrupted, snapping the book shut.
"Because if its walks I was doing just fine when I lived on my own.”
“Why am I here and what exactly do you want from me?” Her voice held frustration, but beneath it was something else.
Hurt.
I stiffened, my jaw clenching each time I came to her room I was tempted to tell her the truth but not yet, if I had my way it would be never or at least until I had all the pieces.
“I told you before. You’re safer here.” She scoffed.
"If by safer you mean trapped, then yes I am very safe” She stood, stepping closer.
“You think I don’t know what you’re doing? You’re keeping me locked up, feeding me just enough so that I am compliant and bringing me books so I don’t completely lose my mind, but you won’t tell me why."
"What am I, Damian? Your pet?” I flinched, because she wasn’t wrong. I was keeping her here by force offering her scraps of comfort without giving her any real answers.
“I can’t tell you everything yet,” I admitted, meeting her gaze.
“But I need you to trust me.” She laughed bitterly.
“Trust you? The man who rejected me and then marked me like a possession, I may want to trust you but it's hard to do so” She shook her head.
“I can’t trust you, Damian. I won’t.”
Something in my chest twisted painfully, but I forced myself to push it aside. I turned toward the door.
"The offer still stands. If you want fresh air, come with me.” She hesitated and for a moment, I thought she would refuse outright but then she grabbed a jacket and followed me out of the room without a word.
It was cold outside and dark which meant I didn't have to fear people seeing her, the chill wind carried with it the familiar scent of pine and earth as we walked through the pack grounds.
I kept my pace slow, letting her adjust to being outside again,she took a deep breath, tilting her head up toward the sky as if she had been suffocating indoors which I could understand because it felt that way for me sometimes.
I watched her from the corner of my eye, she was beautiful even with the bitterness in her voice, the anger in her eyes, she was mine. I had ruined everything,we walked in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke.
“Are you going to let me go?” I tensed.
"Not yet.” her fists clenched.
"When do you plan to tell me why" she asked and I smiled.
"Soon, when you leave" I said, I stopped walking and turned to face her.
"And when do I get to leave" she asked and I looked over to her.
"Aren't you afraid " I asked her.
“The moment you leave these walls, they will come for you again. And I might not be there next time to stop them.” She took a step back.
"Who are those rogues that make you so afraid?”
“I am not afraid.” I muttered and she arched a brow in response which I promptly ignored. Her lips parted in frustration.
“You’re lying,” she whispered.
"No I'm not." I replied and she shrugged.
"Fine.”
"Where did you go?" she asked and I turned to her, brow furrowing.
"What?"
"When you left. The pack was buzzing about it, but no one really knew. So where did you go?" I hesitated.
"Does it matter?"
"To me it kind of does" she said, her voice softer than before I sighed.
"I had business to handle."
"Business," she repeated, unimpressed. “That’s not an answer, Damian."
"You are so frustrating, you know that?" She hissed inhaling sharply as she shook her head.
“ I don't know why I ask you never tell me anything.”
I swallowed hard.
“Arielle—”
“Don’t.” Her voice wavered.
“Just don’t.” we stood there, staring at each other, neither of us moving. I could hear her heartbeat—fast, erratic. Could smell the salt of unshed tears, her want under her skin. I had never reason to hurt her even though I didn't want her that didn't mean I would hurt her.
But I had.
And there was no taking it back.
“I hate you,” she whispered.
The words made me angry and gutted me at the same time. I let out a slow breath.
"You don’t have to trust me. But I will protect you.”
She let out a humorless laugh.
"Protect me, that sounds rich coming from you.” I didn’t reply to her and she took a deep breath, exhaling shakily.
"Fine. I’ll go on your damn walk. But don’t expect me to pretend this is anything other than what it is." She turned away from me and started walking out the door without another word.