I Can't

I Can't
MICKEY

'I'm pregnant.'
She's pregnant?
Wait a minute...by whom?
My initial surprise must be written all over my face because my doll freezes on my lap and the very tiniest of frowns begins to turn her delectable lips toward the floor.
"Doll," I begin, forcing all of my apprehension to bleed away so that I present the amicable gentleman that she is used to seeing in me, as opposed to the absolute beast of rage that I feel like I could be right now, "h-how...pregnant? Like..." I allow my gaze to study her body a little more closely, searching for a baby bump of some kind, but coming up short.
How pregnant is she?
Shit. Did she meet someone out here?
Fuck me, if she did. And fuck him too. I'll kill the fucker.
The words are out before I can stop them, "Who is he, doll?" My teeth clench and my hands grip her hips almost violently. "And where is he?"
All of the excitement and all of the relief I experienced only moments ago in her touch suddenly dissipates causing her to jerk away from me and her hands to drop away from my shoulders and claw at my wrists.
Her gorgeous blue eyes sparkle with tears as she says, "Let me go."
Fuck.
My grip instantly eases, my hands leaving her hips to stroke around her back and keep her pinned to me. "No," I reply stubbornly, my jaw clenching tight as I work through every piece of anger I have and shred it from my bones.
"Yes," she hisses, her voice practically gravel as she pushes away from my chest and attempts to lift herself off of my hips.
"No!" I say again, hauling her more securely against my chest so that I'm able to flip her as gently as possible onto her back and trap her beneath me on the couch.
She growls halfheartedly, turning her face away from mine while I stare down and search for the words that might flip this night back in my favor. "I'm sorry, doll," I whisper, pressing my face into the side of her neck and meaning it. "I-I just-I...it's been so long and I...I didn't think. I just missed you so much and I..." I lift my head away from her satin skin and peer down at her in disappointment. "I'm sorry," I say again like a brainless fucking robot as I begin to push off of her.
Her gaze whips in my direction and her hands fly up to grab me by my hair. "You said nothing could change your mind about me. You said-"
"I haven't changed my mind," I snarl, my eyes searching hers even as her nails strip the back of my neck. "Not about you. Never about you. I just thought...you know...if there was someone new that I might..."
"Might?" she prompts me, the bare trace of a smirk curving her lips. "Might - what?"
Frowning, I glare at the coffee table and the little heart shaped box that she still hasn't seemed to notice yet. "Might...want to...kill him...is all."
A blast of breath hits my face as my doll begins laughing beneath me. Her body quakes with mirth, pushing her abdomen up into mine and for the first time since she's said those fateful words 'I'm pregnant' I glean the evidence of it. Her bump is small, practically nonexistent, but...it is there. It is.
"Shit," I curse under my breath as she continues to giggle and I prop myself up on one arm in order to stroke my free hand lovingly over her waist.
She freezes, her laughter seizing and her eyes lighting with insane heat as my hand continues to massage and stroke over the barely there swelling of her belly.
"How far along are you, doll? Four months? Five?" I whisper, my gaze taking in the loose fabric of her blouse and only now realizing that that is why I was unable to tell. Her clothes are loose and airy, and when she was sitting up, her large, high breasts created a sort of billowing cocoon that kept the truth of her predicament hidden from me. But now that she is laying flat on her back, her condition is obvious.
Romany swallows thickly, her hand reaching upward the stroke the sides of my face. "Four," she whispers, then shaking her head, "and before you ask, no, I don't know which of you is the father, which is why I asked-"
"-if anything could change how I feel about you," I finish for her, my swirling vision meeting the storm in her eyes as I think back to the way I answered her.
She nods, dropping one hand from my jaw to close over my own where my palm rests atop the slight bulge in her middle.
The only honest answer I have cannot be given with a simple no, because although I realize that her having someone else's child before she births one of my own might just make me a little crazier than I'm already known to be, the fact remains that I would die without her by my side.
So...I do what I should have done the very moment I walked in and I reach for the box on the table, flipping it open with one hand in the process and presenting it before her with fire in my chest. "Does this answer your question?"
"This?" she chirps, pushing up on her elbows to gawk at the million dollar stone that twinkles in the light like a piece chipped off of the purest rainbow.
"This," I say gravely. "This...engagement ring. This promise to be mine. This promise to share your life with me...it is the only answer I have to give, amore mio. It's the only one I'll ever give. Now...tell me...what is yours? What answer do you have to give?"
Her beautiful blue eyes swirl with so much love that for a moment, I allow myself to rejoice in it, but then, the words spill from her lips and I think I actually hear my heart crack in two when she says, "I...can't."