Dying to Break

Dying to Break
MICKEY

Before I headed over to her place, I watched Romany on the big screen in my apartment across the street. The cameras that were scattered about her little villa, and in the yard beyond, were cheap, bought on the fly, and the audio was subpar at best. With the wind blowing ever so slightly outside, all I was able to truly hear was her scream over the beach. When she cursed at the waves like a lunatic and nearly threw my gift onto the rocks, I held my breath.
But... she didn't throw it, and although I doubt she even truly knew why she didn't, I had to hope that maybe she felt its connection to me.
It was when she finally stepped inside that things truly got interesting, because she looked... miserable. Sad. Heartbroken. For a moment I thought that she realized that I had found her and she was devastated because of my success. In that second I truly felt like a stalker. Like a villainous psychopath that she simply could not escape. It made me feel small and lost. Confused. Insane. For the briefest of moments I truly considered leaving her at peace.
But hearing her on the phone just now changed all of that and thank God it did, because the entire country would have felt my heartbreak. I would have made them feel it. All of them.
According to Damien and my traitor of an enforcer, Tiny, Romany wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. They said everything that happened out in New Zealand had frightened her so horribly that all she desired was to be alone. At first I was angry at her. Furious. But even then, the thought of never seeing her again, of never having her again was unacceptable. The fact that she had skipped town on them only lent validity to their claims, yet still, I refused to let her go.
I would never let her go.
Especially after everything she revealed to me that morning, months ago, in the backseat of my car. After she asked me not to marry Ana.
"Don't marry her," she had whispered. "Don't you dare leave me for her."
So, even though I was angry with her for disappearing, for never calling, it was all secondary to my savage need of her. The one thing in this life that grants me oxygen, the one thing in this Hell of an existence that has ever made me feel alive, ever made me feel worth anything... is her desire for me.
And, as I watched her step into the kitchen and slide down the door, watched her cry her little heart out, careful to keep her sobs silent as she wept, all of that secondary emotion, all of that anger for her.... simply bled away and instead of waiting for her to call out my name, I made my way across the street.
Now... after hearing her voice her anguish, after hearing her say she thought I was dead, my fury has just been redirected and all that is left in me is this raw, animalistic craving. A hunger so great that I'm surprised I am able to stand here at all.
I said the words.
She heard them.
Still, she hasn't moved and neither have I.
"Ruiz," she says, oh so quietly, into the phone, "I will call you back."
I've been standing in the hallway behind her for the last few minutes. Crept in her window right after she stalked through her room. I heard everything she said to Ruiz and although my hatred for him and everyone else that lied to my woman - telling her that I was dead - pulses like a living breathing demon in my chest waiting to be unleashed, all I can focus on at the moment... all I can see... is the way she is suddenly shaking with relief.
Her phone drops as an inhuman wail erupts from her lips, her face crumpling in the reflection of the television directly across from her, and it is with my eyes on that image, that ghost, that I step out of the dark and into the light, my silhouette taking shape behind hers on the couch, growing in intensity as I approach.
"Doll," I rasp and her cries grow louder. My arms physically ache to hold her, yet for whatever reason it's as if I am wearing lead shoes and every step I take nearly brings me to my knees. "Look at me, baby. Look at me... please."
The sobbing stops. Her shoulders cease quaking. Glistening jewel blue eyes meet mine in the reflection of the black screen and it's as if time stops in that moment. As if everything else around us has just faded out to gray. She is the only color left in the world and I can't even reach for her because the strength of her gaze freezes me.
Yet, her frown remains as her tears continue to pour.
"Why are you still crying?" I hiss, feeling my own eyes begin to burn.
"You're not dead!" She snarls at me, her anger at war with her hiccupping sobs. "So, where have you been?! It took you-" she whimpers "-so long to come for me. Why?!?! Where have you been?"
"Everywhere," I tell her, fighting a smile. "I know it took a while, but I swear, I have been hunting the entire earth for you. I am here now, so why are you still crying?"
She whispers, shaking her head with a frown, "Because... I missed you so much. Needed you so much. And I have been dying to break for so long and now that you're here... I finally can."