Chapter 40"The coin"

Elena narrating.

After that damn object fell from my bag, upon seeing Damon's serious expression, I was left utterly baffled. I didn't understand what that was all about, and why it was in my bag. Honestly. So, I asked him what it was. He continued to stare at me with a stern and seemingly very angry look.

"What is this, Damon? And why do you have that funeral-like expression?" I asked.

"Is this yours, you don't know what it is?" he said to me, maintaining that awful expression.

"I had never seen this before, Damon. I don't even know what it is. Can you stop being so bipolar? Damn it!"

I was speaking the absolute truth. I truly didn't understand him. I was disappointed and baffled by everything that was happening. I deserved at least an explanation for this. I didn't know what that pendrive was, and that, I don't know, gold coin thing seemed like something I had never seen in my life. He had no right. Not at all.

"You're acting weird. I don't understand anything. Can you just talk?" I pleaded.

"I can't believe this. Are you that good of an actress?" He sarcastically chuckled, pacing back and forth in the room. "You're so good that you even fooled me. I don't even know why you're a doctor when you should be an actress! You'd be great in that career."

I didn't know what to say, I just looked at him as tears streamed down my face, unable to control anything but my emotions. There was nothing to say. In the span of moments, everything we had just shared had turned into nothing but sadness.

Damon put on his clothes, grabbed his phone, and left without saying a word. He slammed the car door shut, and I heard the sound of his car driving away. He was furious and irate. I didn't even know what to say. I was sad, devastated by it all. We had just made love, and it was my first time. And it wasn't at all how I had imagined it to be. My heart hurt so much that I felt like I was on the verge of a heart attack. I needed to calm down, especially after the surgery I had undergone.

I sat on the bed, not knowing what to do. Alone in that massive house, I didn't know where Damon had gone, and I didn't even know what I had done wrong. I just hoped for an explanation and a minimum of consideration from him. We had just made love, and it meant something to me, but apparently not to him.

It was all a mistake. Everything.

I called him several times. Anxiety was consuming me; I needed to talk to him. However, he didn't answer.

I was crying, sobbing on the bed, unable to think, just covering myself with the sheet. Despite feeling like that, I still wanted to talk to that idiot when he calmed down. I deserved to understand what had happened there.

He didn't even look at the watch I bought him. I wanted to throw that watch out of the window and have it shatter into a thousand pieces and disappear, just like I wanted my feelings for him to. I can't live like this. One moment everything's perfect, and I'm on cloud nine; the next, I come crashing down.

I didn't want to eat, couldn't even bring myself to put on clothes. I kept thinking about everything that had happened. We made love, it was amazing. He was so caring and gentle. It was everything I had dreamed of. I wanted him so much... It's hard to describe. That's why I gave myself to him, why we consummated our marriage.

And about the sex, for me, it's only good when there's emotion, when there's love involved. That's why I wanted my first experience to be with Damon. We didn't even use a condom. It was a slip-up on our part. Everything happened so quickly; I'd have to get the morning-after pill.

I couldn't understand why all of a sudden he turned into this monster who just stormed out without explanation.

My heart wasn't broken, it was shattered.

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Damon narrating.

We made love. It was amazing, every moment I spent with her. Breath missing, our bodies together.

She was a virgin, I can hardly believe it. The woman I wanted, that I desired, was uniquely mine. I was afraid she was lying, but I proved it, elena was mine alone, for the first time. We stayed together but after the love. Came the pain.

Seeing that coin fall to the floor of her purse. My world fell together. I didn't want to believe it, it was what I had been avoiding all this time. Elena was behind something, I can't believe it. Everything inside me hurt at that very moment.

She acted like she didn't know anything. Wondering what it was all about and why I was like that. Hatred rose inside me in a way I've never felt before. How could she be such an actress? She tricked me, she fucking tricked me so much that I felt like an idiot.

After picking up the flash drive, and the coin that fell out of her purse, I didn't even look back, I went to my uncle's house. It was the only place I could go now I was angry and armagura inside me. I didn't know what to do with Elena. If it was anyone else, I would kill her without a second's hesitation, but I can't...not with her.

Elena called me several times.

I ignored all the calls. It hurt too much. I really liked her and she ruined everything. Everything, for fuck's sake! When I decide to trust someone, this happens.

So it was all a plan? Her getting close to me.

- Damon? You're here. - my uncle asked.

- I need to talk to you, Uncle.

- Go ahead. Has something happened? You look pale.

- Look what I found in elena's bag. - I showed her the flash drive and the coin.

Good. Referring to the coin, during my father's assassination. His body was bombed, and two gold coins that were very important to my father, fell to the ground, it was one of my mother's, for being so special my father gave one to her so that they would never forget each other. I was there and I saw everything. I picked up from the ground that day, the coin that belonged to my mother. And it was my souvenir. Only my father's, it was gone, it was missing, and someone who was the mastermind of this fucking crime, probably took it. Now I find it in Elena's hand.

On the way I checked the pendrive. It didn't have much information, and it had my parents' gold coin on it. I didn't want to believe that elena had done this to me, but I had nothing else to do. I had nowhere else to go. I couldn't think straight at the moment.

Driving, I felt a mixture of anger and regret, knowing I should have stayed, explained and listened. But my own fears had gotten the better of me, and now I had left a trail of chaos in my wake. My heart was heavy with my own foolishness.

All I could think about was the two of us loving each other, together, her on top of me, us kissing madly like a couple in love. I tried to hate her deeply, but it was impossible.

- 'Wasn't this coin the special one from your father and mother? - my uncle asked

- The very one.

I was hurt. The anger was speaking for me. Very upset with Elena who couldn't even think anymore.

- I told you this girl was not to be trusted. - my uncle said.

- Why do you think that? Why are you picking on Elena? Maybe she's not guilty, I don't know.

- Damon, are you an idiot? It's not implication, it's intuition. It's just intuition.

- I don't know, I just... I don't know, forget it.

I stayed at my uncle's for a while. I didn't want to look at her now, if she hasn't already gone far away. I never wanted to have to feel that pain again, of betrayal, of someone I cared about very much. But I was feeling it, I tried so hard to trust elena, I fell in love, I deluded myself, I didn't want to believe anything.

You know when a person's world falls apart? That's what was happening to me, as if out of nowhere it was a beautiful, sunny day and an ugly, scary storm came. It hurt like never before. She knew my weak points, I opened up to her. I told her about my feelings.

That's why I preferred to be cold, bad, a mobster in a suit. I gained much more from being like that, than from liking Elena, she came into my life out of nowhere, made me believe that there could be love again. It made me live new things, we smiled, we talked, we loved each other, but it was all a lie. All in vain.

She would get to know my bad side, the side I made sure to hide from her because I liked her. And she made sure to bring out the bad Damon. I don't think I could hit her, I just couldn't.

I liked being with her. Because most of the time I feel very alone, and that's one of the things I hated most in the world.

Dealing with disappointment was never my strong suit, it's definitely something that eats me up inside, it hurt me as much as a gunshot. Or more. The worst part, is that disappointment, never comes from a stranger....