Chapter 94

Chapter 94
John's POV

I stood there in the hallway, watching Cindy disappear upstairs. My chest felt tight, like someone was squeezing my heart with their fist. The sound of her bedroom door closing echoed through the house, and I knew she was done talking to me for the night.
"What's up?"
I turned to see Bianca walking toward me, her gown flowing elegantly as she moved. Her eyes were soft with concern, the way they always were when she could sense something was wrong.
"Nothing," I said, forcing a smile onto my face. I tried to push down all the anger and frustration that was eating at me from the inside. "How are you enjoying your stay? I'm sorry I've been preoccupied and haven't spent time with you like before."
I could hear how fake my voice sounded, but I hoped she wouldn't push it. I should have known better. Bianca had always been able to see right through me.
"Marco," she said, using the name she'd always called me. Her voice was gentle but firm. "You don't have to hide anything from me. You know you can trust me with anything."
She stepped closer, and I could smell her familiar perfume. It was comforting in a way that reminded me of easier times, when my biggest worry was just staying alive and gaining power.
"Are things between you and Cindy unstable?" she asked quietly.
I felt my shoulders slump. All the fight went out of me at once. I sighed deeply and rubbed my hands at the back of my neck, feeling the tension that had been building there all evening.
"I just don't know what to do," I admitted, my voice coming out rougher than I meant it to. "She wasn't like this before, but whatever happened to her has changed her completely."
I started pacing a little, the words pouring out of me like water from a broken dam. "She just doesn't care anymore. She's reckless and very dangerous with her words. Her fashion bothers me because it draws the wrong kind of attention. She keeps risking herself, putting herself in situations where people like Fiona can hurt her."
My voice got more frustrated as I continued. "She misunderstands everything I say and doesn't want to hear me out. This afternoon, when I tried to explain why I was worried about her dress, she acted like I was attacking her. But I wasn't. I was trying to protect her."
Bianca was quiet for a moment, just watching me with those knowing eyes of hers. Then she said something that made my whole world stop.
"You love her."
I stared at her, feeling like she'd just punched me in the gut. "What?"
"Don't act ignorant, Marco," Bianca said with a small smile. "I know you love her. I can see it in the way you stare at her, the way you worry and care for her. I've never seen you like this before, and I must say it's adorable to see this soft side of you."
I felt heat creep up my neck. Was it that obvious? Had everyone been able to see what I'd been trying so hard to hide from myself?
"I'm sorry I'm bugging you with my issues," I said, looking away from her penetrating gaze.
Bianca smiled, that warm, understanding smile that had gotten me through so many dark times. "You're not bugging me, Marco. I'm always here if you need a listening ear. You don't have to carry the burden all on yourself. I am here."
She paused, then her smile got brighter. "Now let's have fun."
I stared at her, confused by the sudden change in mood. "Fun?"
"Yes, John. Let's go out. There's a swimming pool in this mansion, and I love swimming. We can do our usual activities, just to burn the heat down and feel better."
I kept staring at Bianca. She had always been like this - like a life saver thrown to a drowning man. She had helped me so much over the months, including when I was at my lowest point. She had stood by me, helped me gain power and recover my memories, all without asking for anything in return.
But even as I felt grateful, there was a part of me that stayed careful around her. I didn't know what she was truly capable of, or why she had done all those things for me. I hoped it was just her goodwill and nothing more, but something deep in my gut told me to stay alert.
Bianca nudged my arm gently, bringing me back to the present. "Come on, Marco. You need to clear your head."
I looked at her kind face and felt some of the tension leave my shoulders. "I'll just change. You do that too. Let's meet in ten minutes."
She smiled and nodded, then turned to walk toward her room. Her gown swished softly as she moved, and I watched her go with mixed feelings swirling in my chest.
After she disappeared down the hallway, I found myself looking up toward where Cindy had gone. Her room was somewhere up there, and she was probably still angry with me. Still hurt by the words I'd said without thinking.
"Only God knows what stunt she'll pull next," I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair.
The house felt too quiet now, filled with all the things we hadn't said to each other. I could still see the hurt in Cindy's eyes when I'd mentioned her dress. I could still hear the cold way she'd said "Thank you, John" like she was thanking me for breaking her heart.
Bianca was right. I did love Cindy. I knew it, even if I had been trying to deny it to myself. But if that was true, then I was doing a terrible job of showing it. Instead of protecting her, I was pushing her away. Instead of supporting her, I was making her feel like she had to choose between being herself and being with me.
I shook my head and started walking toward my room to change. Swimming with Bianca might help clear my thoughts, but I had a feeling that no amount of water could wash away the mess I'd made with Cindy.
The weight of everything - my feelings, my fears, my mistakes - felt heavy on my shoulders as I climbed the stairs. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was what loving someone was supposed to feel like: like you were always one wrong word away from losing them forever.