Chapter 26

"Damn it, damn it! Everything is such a bastard!"a loud ringing sound echoed in his ears. 'Forget, forget, forget, forget now! Forget it all. Forget!'

Hundreds of times he tried to erase his memories of that day, as well as the waves of emotions hitting him, but as much as he tried, Jona couldn't do it. His head just couldn't cooperate. It felt like Jona was drowning in a sea of bad memories and horrors he didn't want to experience again. He tried everything to banish his negative thoughts, but none of it worked. Until he looked over and saw his pocket knife lying on the couch.

Instantly, Jona's mind raced, adrenaline coursing through his veins. 'If i were to run the knife across my skin, could the pain make these thoughts go away? Unconsciously,' his steps began to quicken. Reaching for the object he believed could end the throbbing in his head.

But before he could, before Jona could even reach it, 'suddenly...' He felt a hand gripping his.

A soft hand whose touch was like silk and warm. Perhaps the warmest hand Jona had ever held in his life. He turned and instantly his body stiffened, staring at a woman who was now tightly gripping his hand.

Carlie Eloise,"why are you here-"

"My mother says, when you have problems, and stress piles up in your mind, hold someone's hand and let it out. That way your mind will start to unravel, and at the same time you won't feel lonely,"Carlie said. "I'll hold your hand, so you can express all your feelings without worrying about feeling lonely."

****

The warmth creeping into his hand, tracing up to his chest, enveloping his entire body, felt like a double-edged sword to Jona. Calming yet deadly.

The pulsating warmth emanating from Carlie's hand and spreading swiftly throughout his body, reaching his mind and the tips of his toes, was a warmth Jona didn't think he needed before. Even Jona felt stiff, experiencing Carlie's fingers intertwined with his own. Feeling this warmth that could rival the sun's warmth. Warmth he had never felt before. Warmth amidst vulnerability.

No one in the world, not even Devan, could disturb Jona when he wasn't in a good mood. Not brave enough, more precisely. At the slightest hint of a bad change in Jona's demeanor, everyone would immediately step back. Deciding to turn on their heels, lift their feet, and leave Jona alone rather than face his wrath. Even Devan dared not disturb Jona when his emotions were running high. Although Devan never brought it up, Jona felt that the man knew that sometimes when his master was in a great rage, Jona would often wreck the room he was in. Trying hard in any way to banish the deadly thoughts that tormented his head and Devan always waited outside during those times. Because he certainly wasn't brave enough to disturb the raging beast in the midst of his fury.

But Carlie wasn't like that. Jona was stunned, thinking of a woman who might have heard the sound of breaking objects from the bedroom, and immediately decided to step in. To calm Jona down. Instead of fleeing in fear. Instead of considering Jona a demon capable of harming her. It felt odd. It felt strange. Jona had never felt warmth like this in the midst of his fragility, in the midst of his ruin and this feeling was very calming. But at the same time, very terrifying.

The empty shell that had emerged in his chest, by mere touch, felt easily patched up. Whereas on ordinary days, a mere touch had no effect on Jona. Many people like to say, when you're falling, the person there to help you will become the best memory of your life. For some reason, today Jona remembered that saying he often heard from various media outlets. The loud buzzing like a radio in his ears slowly faded away. Although faintly still audible, its voice diminished, diminished, diminished further. Unconsciously, Jona tightened his grip on Carlie's hand, seeking warmth to caress his soul even more.

This was the first time Jona had someone beside him to calm his emotional outbursts. And slowly, along with the peace creeping into his chest, a whisper also struck his mind. A whisper of misfortune, as well as salvation.

Pain and coldness will strengthen you. But warmth and affection will only be a temporary sweetener, which will eventually shatter you into pieces when you lose them. And suddenly, as if there was a slap in his soul, Jona roughly released Carlie's hand from his own. His fingers trembled slightly. Jona averted his gaze from the woman.

That warmth was terrifying. That affection was terrifying. They would only destroy in the end. 'I don't need feelings like that.'

"What are you doing here? You should be in my office."

Carlie clicked her tongue in annoyance. "I'm trying to comfort you and that's what you say to me? Without even apologizing, you snatch my hand? How arrogant."

Jona clenched his jaw,'i'm fine. You don't need to comfort me."

Carlie looked around the room, then sighed heavily,'doesn't something like this need your help?"

"Is there a difference from when you destroyed your room just because you were angry that i locked you in there?"Jona asked, too flatly, than his true feelings.

Carlie intended to protest again. Saying that she did it a hundred percent out of anger, whereas the tremble in Jona's hand in her eyes didn't look like anger. Instead, it seemed like a burst of stress. A burst of emotion. A burst of despair. But before she could say that, the sound of a pair of footsteps was heard in the distance, and shortly after, the door to the auditorium was forcefully pushed open. And from within emerged Devan's face, panting, with panic written all over it.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'm truly to blame,"Carlie was taken aback as Devan suddenly bowed deeply.

"I was momentarily distracted and didn't realize that Madame Eloise was coming here. I didn't have time to stop her. I'm ready to accept any consequences."

Carlie furrowed her brows in confusion. She didn't know that she wasn't supposed to visit this room. "It's okay. I don't mind this time,"Jona's left hand clasped his own right hand, trying to feel the remnants of warmth still pulsating there. "Besides, i have a conversation with this woman. Leave. I need to talk to her privately."

Carlie looked out the window in bewilderment as she saw a crowd of 1000 people suddenly retreat from Jona's mansion's garden. Leaving the premises. Emptying the colossal house. She never imagined that the supposedly significant and large alliance meeting would end so quickly. On Jona's office desk, Carlie gazed at the ceiling of the office space with a relieved expression. It seemed like her wait would soon be over. If the meeting was over, it meant that Jona would return momentarily, right?

But apparently, she was wrong. Carlie waited for some time afterward. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, almost 25 minutes. But the psychopathic man still hadn't come back to explain the plans he had promised to explain to Carlie. It had long been known that Carlie was not a patient person and her slowly eroding patience, ending in frustration, finally led her to walk out of the office space. Walking down the hallway she believed to be deserted, looking for the mansion's owner who had business with her.

Carlie's assumption turned out to be correct. But at the same time, it felt strange. Suddenly, the entire house fell silent. All traces of humanity vanished just like that. Half an hour ago, no one visited this place. She wandered through the corridors, searching for any room that Jona might be in. But halfway there, she encountered a staircase leading downstairs. The basement floor and instantly, Carlie's curiosity roared. What could be down there?

She descended the stairs and found an unimaginably spacious basement room. She passed by car parking spaces, a bowling alley, a mini bar, a spa room, and even a cinema. Carlie felt like sitting in one of the cinema seats and playing whatever movie came up first. But before she could, suddenly...

Crash! A sound of breaking glass echoed from a distance.

Instantly, curiosity propelled her legs automatically. Carlie approached a room, seemingly very isolated. Located at the far end of the house, and having the least impressive door compared to other rooms. 'Just brown wood, slightly grayish and a minimalist handle. What could be inside?'Carlie thought to herself. But instantly, she was startled again, hearing the next shattering sound follow. Again, and then again. Instantly, Carlie knew that Jona was inside. The person she was looking for was there. 'Because it was impossible for anyone in the house to have the courage to break things except the owner himself, right?' So Carlie dared to peek a little.

But what she saw inside immediately shocked her, leaving Carlie speechless.

The entire room was filled with broken pieces of objects. The TV mounted on the wall shattered and malfunctioning. Room furnishings scattered into debris on the tiles. And in the midst of it all was Jona. Standing tall, even though his breath was heavy. Trembling violently, as if restraining anger. With one hand holding his head, squeezing his own hair.

And from the mirror embedded in the wall, a sight stunned Carlie. She stared into Jona's eyes there, which implied hatred, intense anger, explosive emotions. But at the same time, they conveyed sadness, fear, and despair. What happened to him? What could make a man like him look so ferocious? Carlie momentarily sank into questions.