Chapter 194 The edge of despair.

Chapter 194 The edge of despair.
Joyce POV

After the burial was rounded up and of course Silas was still enraged about everything. I really don't care. I was going to get what I wanted and even though I felt that Diana was slowly changing, I did not still care. I had already gotten what I wanted. I just hope the lawyer does not do anything stupid or else that is where issues will start because I won't take things calmly with him at all. I would make sure he lives a life of hell. He won't even be able to cope at all and I will make him hate me so much if he dares to do anything nasty.

I thank God I had already called him aside to warn him so I am sure he won't want to dare do anything stupid but instead listen to me. That is all he is going to do. Listen to me and nothing else. As I drove back home, my phone began to ring again. I looked at it and it was not actually ringing. It was just a text message from the fucking doctor.

"What the heck does he want from me?" I picked it up and saw that it was a message from him. "Tell me that if I did not take my medication he won't have any hand in anything that happens to me."

I threw the phone back on the chair and felt frustrated as I continued driving. Should I really just reverse back and go to the hospital? I can't. I can't just make him see me as somebody weak. I am not weak. I am stronger than this. I am fiercer than this and I can overcome this. He won't just get to me so easily.

I thought to myself, hoping my thoughts were going to make things easier for me. But instead, it didn't. It made things even more difficult. I was still thinking about it continuously.

"This is just so up."

I banged my hand on my steering wheel so angrily and then thought reversed immediately, driving towards the hospital. I just hope whatever medication is giving me is worth it. Because if at the end of the day I waste my goddamn money doing all these things and I don't end up using it or gaining anything or even lasting up to two months, then I'm going to fucking kill that doctor before I die.

I thought, driving off as I sped as fast as I could getting to the hospital. I still had to wait in the registry because I had not actually registered in the hospital. All that fucking stress. I felt so frustrated and felt like I should just turn around and go. But I couldn't do it and instead just had to wait. Had to wait patiently.

"Oh God, this was just so bizarre."

I couldn't even believe I was doing something like this. It pissed me off so badly but I held it in. I continued driving. As I was finally able to get my registration done, I stomped into the doctor's office as he looked at me a bit frightened.

"Eve," he said as I laughed.

"Are you crazy? Are you fucking crazy? You don't call me Eve. Ms. Eve, if you know my position in life, then you'll be careful with the way you text me and call me. Why are you making it seem like your medication is going to make me stay a whole year when I'm not even going to last at all? I have business, I have important things to deal with."

I yelled at him as he looked at me. Not a bit scared at all, but instead very calmly,

"You have a business. You have a lot of things to take care of. At the end of the day when you struggle so hard to take care of those things and you don't get to live to enjoy anything, somebody else is still going to enjoy everything you are struggling for. Instead, try to take care of yourself. Do what you love to do. At the same time, believe in God that He would help you and give you more life. You are in such chronic pain that it will hurt you. I know what you are feeling now is pain. Pain that you will not be able to live long to enjoy what you have. But why don't you try?"

He said as I felt even more angry. I rushed towards him and slammed my hand on the desk but he still stared at me calmly, not a bit scared of me at all, no matter how hard I was trying to make him be.

"There is nothing you want to do that would make me scared of you. You are just a patient who is going through a hard time knowing she does not have so much time left."

He said as I groaned.

"Shut up your mouth. Shut your fucking mouth up. You this fucked up doctor. How dare you tell me that? How dare you? How dare you open your bastard mouth and tell me gibberish. Don't you ever speak a word to me anymore. What's your problem? What exactly is your fucking problem, huh? And you are telling me that I should believe in God? Did I tell you that I did not believe in God in the first place? I believed in him and yet he gave me fucking cancer. I did nothing to him but yet he gave me this illness. He knew how badly I had a lot of things to do in this life and this is where he placed me."

I yelled as I tried to control my emotions. He then slowly stood up and placed his hands on mine as I felt a bit calm.

"How was he able to control my emotions so easily?"

I know what you feel. I know how it feels. But please, can you not just do that? Can you not just lose hope on God? Okay? At least take your medication. Do you know how painful it would get when you get to the final stage of your cancer and you are not able to treat it? Do you know how it will feel in your body? You will not be able to control yourself and I don't want that for you. I don't want you to be in that situation. That is the reason why I am trying all my very best to make sure that you are perfectly alright.

"I don't know why you are acting this way. I don't know what you have passed through in life that made you think this way. But I just hope. I just really hope that you listen to me and at least do what I want you to do. Please, I beg you."

He said as I laughed.

"Why did you think I am here exactly? Do you think I came here to waste time? No. I am here because I want to get treated quickly and don't fucking disturb me. Just do what you have to do."

I said as I sat down, my heart beating so loudly. He was right. I was slowly feeling the pain of the cancer. Maybe it was because of the pain I felt that made me unable to control my emotions and yell at him claiming that God could not do anything for me now.

I had finally been able to kill the lion after so long. I was able to get what I wanted, but at what cost? I can't even live two months with that money I am fighting so badly with. But yet I would not give it to Diana. Diana would not get to sniff my money at all. I won't even give her that opportunity. No matter what. She would not get what she's fighting so badly for. I would not let her no matter what.

I said to myself, feeling as determined as I could. Then I stared at the doctor as he brought out a file and started scribbling down. Rubbish. He then looked at me and nodded his head.

"What is wrong? Am I going to not live up to a month than you thought?"

I said, trying to be sarcastic as he laughed.

"It is not about that. You have already gotten to the stage of hair loss and your hair loss is very quick. We have to do something about it. It's either you shave it off or you cut it short. You would lose more hair within the next week. You don't even have up to 10 days of steady hair."

He said to me as I looked shocked.

"That can't happen. I can't, I cannot scrape my head. I would not do it no matter what you tell me I would not do it."

I yelled at him as he still stared at me calmly.

"You don't have a choice. You have to no matter what you try to say you might end up losing that hair faster. If you want to keep it as discreet as possible you can actually get a wig but you have to cut it down."

He said as I covered my mouth, trying my best to hold in my tears, not wanting to look weak in the presence of the doctor. But I was so fucking weak down to my knees. I was really going to die now. It was not my imagination again, it was reality. I don't have up to two months, what am I going to do? Why?