His blessing

*Nick*

It is good to see the castle appear on the rise. I hadn’t realized exactly how much I had missed it until I catch sight of it again. I have so many good memories of the place.

“We fought,” I say quietly as the coach turns onto the long path that will lead us to the castle. “Nathan and I smacked at each other the entire journey here. Drove the solicitor to distraction.”

“Do you think your father knew that Marsden was mad?” Julia asks.

During the long sojourn here, we have barely spoken, simply held each other. So much needs to be said, so much shouldn’t be said.

“Surely not. I don’t know if anyone really knew how much he was affected by his mate’s passing, not until years later.” I admit.

“But to go mad…”

I decide against revealing that I can understand it. I had become lost in drinking, Marsden has become lost in the past, holding on too tightly to the memories. If Julia weren’t here at all, I might do the same. While our future relationship would be chaste, at least I can speak to her from time to time, can share a dance with her at a ball, can visit at Christmas and play Santa for her daughter.

“I have only been here once before,” she says. “I don’t think I slept a wink.”

It had been many nights before I had finally been able to sleep in the strange residence with its homages to the past and its haunting echoes. “The screeching is only the wind.”

“But it sounds so mournful.” She says.

The carriage comes to a halt. As I prepare to disembark, I lean in and whisper, “If you get frightened tonight, come crawl into bed with me.”

The servant opens the door before she can respond. I leap out and then hand her down. Looking up at me seductively, she says, “I offer you the same invitation.”

I think I just might take it. If nothing else, I could simply hold her. Although the last time we were in bed together, we had done a good deal more than that. Neither of us seems to have much strength in resisting the other. But for her, I have to be strong, have to battle the temptation.

“Hello!” Zac shouts.

I look over to see my friend charging down the steps of the castle. Visitors here are infrequent, and I have sent word ahead that we would be arriving. Obviously, Zac has been watching for us.

Reaching me, he embraces me, gives me a sound clap on the back. “Welcome, Grey.”

Stepping back, I say, “Nick will suffice.”

Zac looks at me, looks at Julia. “So you know.”

“All of Blackrock city knows,” she admits.

He grimaces. “That couldn’t have been very pleasant.”

“Might be a while before I again stand up in the House of Alphas to make a statement,” I assure him.

Shaking his head, Zac laughs. “I wouldn’t put it past you to be telling them tales next year.” Leaning in, he buss a kiss over Julia’s cheek. “Welcome to Evermarsh Castle. My father has been beside himself with the thought of your arrival. He’s actually made a rare departure from his rooms and is waiting for us on the terrace.”

*****

As the Alpha Prince of Evermarsh pushes himself out of his chair, I am taken aback by how frail he appears, and yet he hardly seems to have changed. His white hair hangs past his shoulders in limp strands, his cheeks as sunken as they had been the day I first met him. His green eyes as sharp. They could fool a person into thinking he still has all his wits about him.

He holds his arms wide. “Nick.”

I go to Marsden, let him fold his arms around me. The Alpha’s hold is stronger, more powerful than I had expected, Marsden’s arthritic hands gently patting my back.

“Sorry, lad, sorry,” he rasps in a voice that has gone permanently hoarse from all the times he has screamed his love’s name as he raced over the moors, firm in his belief that he saw her, that he could reunite with her.

The tears of sadness threaten as I hug the thin, bent man who has been like a father to me and Nathan. “He went quickly.” The lie on my tongue begins to resound as though it’s the truth.

But when I lean back, I see in Marsden’s eyes that the Alpha recognizes the lie for what it is: an attempt to spare him the pain of the truth. Giving his head an almost imperceptible shake, he pats my cheek, censure in the flatness of his lips. I had forgotten that Marsden has always known when one of us lied, has never approved, but I know the old man will hold the secret, that he understands it’s for Julia.

Looking past me, Marsden smiles sadly and holds out a hand. “My dear.”

Julia goes to him, placing her gloved hand in his. He brings it to his lips. “It is not easy to be the one left behind.”

She darts a glance at me. “No, it’s not, but Nick has proven to be a great source of strength.”

“Nathan was destined to go young, you know. Had an old soul, like my mate. I could see it in his eyes. But it doesn’t make us miss them any less, does it?” He says softly.

“It absolutely does not.”

He raises a gnarled finger. “But he left you a precious gift.”

Her smile is brighter than the sun. “Yes, he did.” Taking Noa from the nanny who is standing nearby, she turns back to Marsden. “I would like to introduce you to Miss Noella.”

“Beautiful child, beautiful.” He lifts hopeful eyes. “May I hold her? I won’t drop her.”

“Yes, of course.” Very carefully she transfers Noa into Marsden’s arms.

He lowers his head. “Hello, precious.”

Noa emits a high-pitched sound that very much resembles a laugh.

Her eyes wide, Julia chuckles. “She has never done that before, has she, Nick?”

“No, she hasn’t. Not that I have heard.” I say.

Marsden winks. “I have a way with the she-wolves.” He looks at Zac. “You need one of these. Except it should be a boy. They could marry.”

Zac merely rolls his eyes, crosses his arms over his chest, and looks out over the vast expanse of land that stretches toward the horizon, as though he wishes to distance himself from his father and his pointed words.

“Luna Greystorm, have some tea with me and tell me everything about her,” Marsden insists.

“You must call me Julia,” she says as she takes a chair.

Holding Noa close, obviously not yet ready to relinquish his hold on her, Marsden sits. I join them, along with Zac, although most of the conversation is carried by Marsden and Julia. He truly seems to want to know everything about Noa, although at this point in her life there isn’t a good deal to tell. Still, Julia goes to great pains to expand on any question the Alpha asks.

It’s a lovely afternoon. Troubles seem far away, impossible dreams seem possible. I half listen to the conversation. It’s odd that I feel more at home here, but then I have lived here longer than at my own home. Some of my fondest memories of Nathan have occurred here. When Noa is older, I will bring her back, walk over the grounds, and share stories of her father.

Julia is right about that. It isn’t fair to deny her an opportunity to know and appreciate her true father. I don’t want to take that away from her or Nathan.

She begins to fuss. Standing, Julia takes her from Marsden. All the men come to their feet.

“I’m going to take her for a little walk,” she says. “Give you gentlemen a chance to catch up.” Bouncing her daughter in her arms, she wanders away from the terrace into the sunshine, the nanny in tow.

“Fetch us some scotch, Zac,” Marsden orders. “I detest tea. Always have.”

When the scotch is poured, Marsden raises his glass. “To love.” After taking a sip, he arches a brow at me. “You do love her, don’t you?”

“How can one not love that little girl?” I ask.

The wrinkles of his face shift as he smiles. “I meant her mother.”

I shouldn’t be surprised by Marsden’s ability to recognize my feelings. The man might be completely mad, but he isn’t stupid.

Zac, on the other hand, straightens as though his father has walloped him on the side of the head. He leans forward. “You love her? How the bloody hell did that happen? You have always disliked her.”

I grimace. “Not as much as I let on. Unfortunately the Goddess played a cruel trick and mated her to both Nathan and me.”

“Well, hell, that’s unfortunate. What are you going to do?” Zac asks.

“What can we do? The law won’t let us marry. Any children we have would be bastards. She would be ostracized. Noa’s future would be compromised. So I will deliver her to Evermore. She and Noa will live there while I will reside at one of the other estates.”

“Take her to the northern lands,” Marsden says.

I release a burst of harsh laughter, then sober. “Nathan told me the same thing, as he lay dying. ‘Take her to the northern lands.’ I thought maybe it was someplace he and Julia planned to travel, somewhere she dreamed of visiting, but when I asked her about it, she had no interest in it whatsoever. Why would he and you tell me to take her there?”

Marsden looks at me as though I’m the one who is mad. “Because you can marry her there.”

Stunned by his words, I can do little more than stare at him.

The old man cackles. “Do you think you are the first man to want to marry his brother’s mate?” He waves a hand through the air. “Oh, some people will turn their noses up at you, but to hell with them. These laws prohibiting those related by marriage from marrying are preposterous. The belief that a couple engaging in sex suddenly makes the entire family blood relations is madness.”

The irony of the mad Alpha Prince of Evermarsh calling anything madness is not lost on me.

Marsden pounds his fist on the table. “Do you not pay attention to what goes on in Alpha Parliament? Of course you don’t. Youhave only just taken your place in the House of Alphas. People have been trying to change those laws for years.”

“How do you know?” Zac asks. “You haven’t sat in the House of Alphas since I was born.”

Marsden scowls at his son. “I read the newspapers.” He shrugs. “Sometimes someone might send me a letter asking my opinion. And I know a gent or two who took his she-wolf to the northern lands.”

Scraping back the chair, I stand and walk to the edge of the terrace. “We just go to the northern lands. Live there.” I can manage the estates from there, periodically returning here.

“No,” Marsden answers impatiently. “You marry there, because they don’t care if people are related by marriage. Then you come back here. Our country recognizes the marriage. Julia is your legal wife. Your children are legitimate. One consideration: It is costly.”

As though lack of money would prove any sort of deterrent to me when I love Julia so much. But why would Nathan spend his last breath telling me to take her to the northern lands? Why would he?

I slam my eyes closed as the truth nearly knocks me to my knees. Nathan had known, known about my feelings for Julia. I thought I had been so damned good at disguising them. All the drinking, all the sarcastic remarks, hadn’t fooled my brother.

With his dying breath, Nathan had provided not only the answer to a question that I hadn’t even known I would be asking, but given his blessing as well.