Colors, Sizes, Jobs

No one could judge me and say it was wrong to laugh about the situation. Even if I could it was too late, I let out a laugh. Loud, but I shut up immediately, the laughter just ran away.

And now, I had an extremely bad conscience for laughing at something like that, imagining what Fernando had gone through. But then, I remember well that Fernando offended me last night and everything Filipe went through because of him. So yeah, I didn't feel a single drop of pity for Fernando.

"Can someone get this crazy girl out of here?" Fernando speaks, getting up in fury, looking at me as if I were the devil himself.

I just chuckled and continued to eat my sweet roll.

"Nobody's going to get her out of here." Filipe speaks firmly, looking at Fernando and showing that he had no right to do anything.

I wasn't afraid to die, that's already a fact. Debauchery? It's food. Then I look at Fernando with a cynical smile, as if he said: "You don't rule anything darling".

"This is a family affair!" Exclaims Mel already changed. "The two of you should leave."

Mel's tone sounds like she has all the reason in the world and soon Vidia is on her feet, making everyone stare at her.

"I'm Fernando's fiancée and whether you like it or not, I'm part of the family!" Vidia screams, totally hysterical.

I was immediately impressed with her attitude, since it was always me who exploded and Vidia would go there and pick up the shards. But not this time, Vidia had an anger that I had never witnessed, the anger was such that her chest rose and fell quickly. Vídia was now facing Fernando and Mel.

"I'm tired of following orders and pretending to be someone I'm not." She yells at the two who are watching her with their mouths agape. "I don't know how to organize an event and a lot of other things, but I would run this house better than you. You're just an old woman who lives treating others as inferior and doesn't see her own inferiority. I hate you and if I stay here, you'll leave !"

Vidia spoke with determination and I was attentive to each word, proud of her courage. I managed not to clap.

"How about you". Vidia's voice begins to break and she takes a deep breath. Staring at Fernando. "Do you really love me?" It was the first time she had heard that question with such need.

It was as if the two of them were on the edge of a cliff and waiting for a beautiful declaration so that they would both be safe.

"What do you mean beautiful?" Fernando approaches, but Vídia backs off, her look is one of despair. "I love you infinitely more than myself."

Fernando answered with tears in his eyes, he seemed to be lost in a labyrinth. Vídia, on the other hand, was still firm, without showing feelings.

"Well, it doesn't!" Vidia exclaims with fury. "You hurt me, you hurt me and you make me cry. Being next to you is like being next to a snake, how could I love you?"

His words are harsh and if I feel pain, imagine Fernando. His face was one of utter agony, as if he was on fire.

"Bela..." Fernando tries to start talking, but is interrupted.

"The love I heard and learned..." Vidia looks at me. "It's not like that. I shouldn't be feeling this and I'm afraid I don't love you anymore Fernando". Vidia speaks already crying. "Look at me Fernando. Look at me!" Vidia screams so loudly that no doubt everyone heard her. "I changed so much for you..." he speaks expressing immense pain. "But you never did anything for me."

Silence reigned for a few moments, Filipe and I lost, but side by side. Mel was in the other corner of the room, listening to everything with a guilty, fake!

"First you said I wasn't supposed to work, so I stopped. Then I look at all the etiquette and dance classes I was forced to take, even though I didn't like it. Then you say I should go on a diet because that way I'll look prettier and would please you more, so I did. I saw your plate full of food and mine with only one grape. I starved to please you, but now, you still put flaws in my body. So tell me Fernando, do you love me? "

His question came out calmly, but I know that several knives entered Fernando's chest and with good reason. Fernando said he loved her, but he changed her. Those who love do not change, only, united, they progress together. So that was a very important question and the answer would result in an explosion of feelings.

"Yes Vidia, I love you!" Fernando talks trying to get closer to her, with a look full of sadness, but Vídia moves away.

"But I guess I don't love you anymore."

Vídia cries and leaves the room, and Fernando runs to meet her. There was no longer any need to go after Vidia, he knew that she would kick Fernando and that she would look for a quiet place to think. It was always like this.

"Don't you think it's overkill?" Filipe asks, standing right next to me.

I look at him and analyze him from head to toe.

"How can you feel entitled to complain?" I ask in a calm voice, still staring at the door where Vidia left. "Do you by any chance know what it's like to be a woman, black, fat and single?"

I look into Filipe's eyes and see confusion, in a way I don't blame him, only those who have gone under their skin to understand what small lines are capable of doing.

"There is no room in society for people like me and Vídia. I am a businesswoman, but nobody takes me seriously when I talk about business, and I have done more than many men. Nobody wants a fat black woman, in fact, they prefer thin and We don't look at the beauty of a black man and a white man the same way. And always..." I let out a loud sigh. "White women always win. Always the weight loss pills, the torturous exercises, the lack of food, we have to do this to fit in even a little bit in society. If we don't... we stay aside. Little words and actions, are enough to kill a person".

I say everything, not because I hear about it, but because I went through it. I was never the center of attention and people kept reminding me of the color of my skin, the size of my body and my inferiority compared to men who worked in the same sector as me.