Chapter 35

Dayton reined Firefly to a stop and slowly scanned the snow-laden plains, his breath creating small clouds in the frigid air. He didn’t know where the hell that cow was. Back at the feed troughs, he’d counted forty-nine heads. Three times. In this particular pasture, there were supposed to be fifty heads. None of which were due to calve for at least two more months.

Muttering a curse under his breath, he turned the horse back toward the feeding grounds and jammed his gloved hands into the pockets of his coat. The icy wind cut through him, and he felt a deep chill settling in his bones. The sun was rapidly falling and the temperature along with it. He’d been riding for at least two hours now and his feet had long ago gone numb from the cold.

There was no use in staying out longer, he realized. Soon it would be too dark to see his way home, much less find a downed cow. When he got back to the house, he’d call his neighbor, Jimmy Freeman. If Dayton was lucky, she’d gotten through the fence somehow and had taken up with his Holsteins.

As he nudged Firefly into a trot, Dayton's thoughts drifted back to the argument with Shayna. The cold hadn’t numbed the sting of her words. Her accusations about Mel, the anger in her eyes—he could still feel the tension, the bitterness. The pain of losing Mel had been bad enough, but hearing Shayna’s harsh words had torn open old wounds he thought had healed. He had cared for Shayna, maybe more than he wanted to admit, but her sudden defensiveness and mistrust had hit him like a physical blow.

He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts. There was no use dwelling on it now. He had cows to care for, fences to mend, and the ever-present chores that came with running a ranch. He couldn't afford to let his personal life interfere with his responsibilities. But the ache in his chest wouldn’t go away. He knew he had to find a way to talk to Shayna, to make things right, but he wasn’t sure how to even begin.

Firefly’s hooves crunched through the snow as they neared the feeding grounds. The rest of the herd was clustered around the troughs, their breath mingling in the cold air. It took thirty more minutes than usual for Dayton to ride his way back to the feeding grounds. The herd of black Angus was still there, feeding on several round bales of hay that he and Tim had hauled out here earlier in the day.

Should he count again? Maybe she had walked in from the west side of the pasture while he’d been searching the east side. Deciding to give it one last try, Dayton reined his mount to a stop several yards away from the milling herd and quickly began to count in twos.

Fifty! He counted again. Then again. All fifty cows were there and from what Dayton could see in the falling twilight, they all looked healthy. Had he simply miscounted earlier?

Hell, it wouldn’t surprise him if he had, he thought as he nudged Firefly into a fast walk. He hadn’t been thinking straight at all since Shayna had arrived on the ranch. And after this afternoon, he wasn’t able to think, period.

That’s what a woman did to a man, Dayton mused as he miserably ducked his face against the cold north wind. It wasn’t enough for a woman to tie a man’s body into frustrated knots. No, they had to go for the heart and the mind, too. Right now Dayton didn’t know which of the three was giving him the most problems. Worse than that, he didn’t know how to fix any of them.

The relief that washed over him was almost palpable. It had been a long day, full of emotional upheaval and physical strain, and this was one less thing to worry about.

He dismounted Firefly and walked among the cows, his eyes scanning each one carefully. The low murmurs of the cattle and the sound of their chewing filled the air. The deep, rich scent of hay and the earthy smell of the cattle were familiar and comforting. As he moved, he patted the animals gently, reassuring himself that they were all indeed present and accounted for.

The cold began to seep through his gloves, making his fingers stiff. Dayton flexed them, trying to restore some warmth. He knew he should head back to the house soon, but he lingered a moment longer, watching the herd settle in for the night.

* * *

Shayna stood there undecided as to what she should do after Martha left the room. She glanced at her roughly packed suitcases and the clothes she had hurriedly plucked from the closet and thrown onto the bed. Her mind was a tempest of conflicting emotions. The argument with Dayton replayed in her head, each word cutting deeper than the last. She couldn’t deny the sting of his accusations or the way his words had made her feel exposed and vulnerable.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. The appearance of the sheriff had been the catalyst, triggering her deep-seated fear and mistrust of law enforcement. It wasn’t just about Dayton’s cousin Brady; it was about Erik, his manipulations, and the way he had used his connections to make her feel powerless. The sheriff’s unexpected arrival had dredged up all those feelings of being cornered and helpless, and she had lashed out at Dayton as a result.

Now, standing in the quiet room, Shayna felt the weight of her words and the pain they had caused. She had struck out at Dayton because she was afraid, and in doing so, she had hurt him. But she also knew that running away wasn’t the answer. She couldn’t keep fleeing from her past and the ghosts that haunted her. She needed to face them, to find a way to move forward instead of constantly looking over her shoulder.

Martha’s words echoed in her mind: “I knew the moment I looked at you that you were someone I’d be proud to know.”

Could she really believe that? Could she trust herself to stay, to face the uncertainty and the challenges that lay ahead?

Taking a deep breath, Shayna walked over to her suitcase. She unzipped it and began to carefully pull out her clothes. Piece by piece, she folded them neatly and placed them back into the closet. This was a chance for her to stop running, to build something real and meaningful.

She didn’t know what the future held, but she was tired of living in fear. Dayton, his mother, and his sister were becoming important to her, and she realized that she didn’t want to lose that connection. She wanted to give herself a chance to heal and to find happiness, even if it meant facing her past and the pain that came with it.

As she finished rearranging her clothes in the closet, Shayna felt a sense of calm wash over her. She had made her decision. She would stay and face whatever came next, with courage and determination. It was time to stop running and start living.

Shayna stood back and surveyed her neatly arranged clothes. She couldn’t help but reflect on how life had brought her back to her roots, completing a full circle that she hadn’t anticipated. She had never imagined that life would bring her right back to where she was running from in the first place. Maybe, it was life’s way of telling her that it all ended where it began. The irony wasn’t lost on her. The place she thought she had left behind forever had become the setting for her most significant confrontations and realizations.

Returning to the ranch had stirred memories she had long tried to bury. The smell of hay, the sound of horses, and the expanse of open fields had always been comforting to her. But they were now tinged with the bitterness of her past and the unresolved issues she carried with her. Yet, despite all the pain and confusion, she couldn’t deny the sense of belonging she felt here, something she had never truly found in New York.

As she sat on the edge of the bed, Shayna’s thoughts turned to her plans for revenge. When she had first arrived, she had been driven by a single-minded desire to make Dayton pay for what she perceived as his betrayals. She had been fueled by anger and resentment, determined to hurt him as she had been hurt. But now, after seeing the genuine concern in his eyes, the love he had for his family, and the undeniable chemistry between them, she found herself questioning those plans.

Was revenge really what she wanted? Or was it just a way to mask the pain she felt? She thought about Erik, how he had used his power and connections to control her, to make her feel small and insignificant. The thought of him still made her blood boil, but she realized that by pursuing revenge, she was letting him control her life once again. She didn’t want to be that person, living in the shadow of someone else’s actions.

Her gaze drifted to the window, where the twilight was giving way to the soft glow of the rising moon. Maybe it was time to let go of the past, to stop allowing it to dictate her future. She had a chance to rebuild her life, to find happiness and peace, but only if she was willing to let go of her anger and resentment.

She would stay at the ranch, not out of a sense of obligation or fear, but because she wanted to. She wanted to see where this journey would take her, to explore the possibilities that lay ahead. And most importantly, she wanted to confront her past, not as a victim seeking revenge, but as a survivor ready to move forward.