Chapter 4 – Hidden Feelings

They go to Neha's room and Neha started talking about Aaron again.

Neha told her, “He gave me his number.”

“Who?” Pretending like she doesn't know who Neha is talking about.

“Aaron, of course. I was lying to you that he likes you, but when you went to your car, he gave me his number and said that he likes me not you. He was saying that he wanted to impress me and that's why he was talking to you.” Neha lied to her.

Sara was puzzled now, “What are you? I'm confused. He likes you and he wanted to talk to me. That doesn't make sense.”

Neha was laughing inside, “Okay, look. He likes me, right? So, I introduced you and told him that you're my best friend. So, to be with me; he has to be approved by you.” listening to Neha very carefully, “That's all.”

“Oh, I see. You should have told me that because I was being so mean to him for no reason.” Now, that's what Neha wanted to prove to her that she was being mean to him because he liked her, but she didn't want to admit it.

Neha proved her point, “See, I told you. You were just being mean because he liked you and why do you always do that?”

Sara explained, “you know that I just don't believe in love. That's why I think he was just wanted to spare his time and he got bore at the club; that's why he thought why not flirt with somebody. Nothing else.”

Neha teasing her, “Nothing else.”

Sara getting irritated, “That's right, nothing else. I think we should change the topic instead of talking about somebody who doesn't even care and have forgotten about us already.”

Sara started changing in Neha's closet where she had placed her clothes when she left, but Neha still standing outside the closet because she wanted to talk about Aaron. She wanted to know if Sara liked him or not because she really wanted her to be with somebody with who she would fall in love. Sara always told everybody that she doesn't believe in love and that she doesn't even know the meaning of love. So, Neha wanted to prove to her that love does exist and it is the most beautiful thing on earth. People live and die in love.

Of course, Neha was in love with Johnathan, but he liked Sara. So, she wanted Sara to feel what love is like and that's why she wanted to hook her up with Aaron. She wanted to tell her how it feels when someone is in love and one will be ready to do anything for their beloved one. Neha wanted to tell Sara that right now she says that she doesn't want to fall in love and she never will, then when the time comes and when she does fall in love with somebody, she will leave everybody else and break all the rules to be with the one she loves. Neha also tells that right now she thinks that she will never betray her parents for somebody, but when she'll be in love, then she will think that her parents are her enemy and she will start to hate them. She told her that love is like a drug, which is very addictive; once you are addicted to it, then you want to have it more and more.

Neha telling her, “I bet he's still thinking about you.”

Sara replied, “Oh, please. Don't start that again with me. Whenever I talk to somebody or even smile at somebody; you start making assumptions that he loves me and blah blah blah... and now I remember your exact word by word definition of love that love is like an addiction and once you are addicted to it, then you want to have it more and more.”

Sara comes out of the closet and was ready to sleep, but Neha was still talking about Aaron, “You won't understand it because you're not in love, but when you will fall in love truly and deeply with somebody, then you will remember me that I used to say this, and you'll do anything to get your love. I'm 100% sure that God has selected someone for you and when you'll meet him; you'll understand everything I say.”

Sara yawning, “Alright, my mother. I get it, but can you go and change, so we can sleep because I'm very sleepy.”

Sara gets on the bed and Neha jumps on it. She sat in front of her to see in her eyes that if she felt something for Aaron.

Neha asked, “Didn't you think that he was very handsome?”

Sara wondering and thinking what to say …

Neha asking again, “Truly, from the bottom of your heart. Did you like him? Just a little or tiny bit.” She puts her index finger and thumb together to show her what she meant by a tiny bit.

Sara told her, “Well, yeah. He surely was handsome and looked cute, but right now I'm tired and I want to sleep. Please go and change, so we can sleep. Come on, hurry up.” She pushes Neha off the bed and then Neha goes to change her clothes.

While Neha was changing clothes, Sara thought about Aaron because he looked attractive to her too. He was so handsome that nobody could stop thinking about him. He was very charming, and Sara couldn't stop thinking about him too, but she didn't want to think about him because she met him only once and didn't know him as well. She hoped that she doesn't see him again and Neha comes in. She disturbed her thoughts. Sara wanted to think about him more because whenever she thought about him, she felt good, but she was ashamed of herself because she promised herself that she will never think about any guy in her life.

Neha got her, but as always, she lied again, “Thinking about Aaron.”

Sara turning her side, “Nope, I'm not. Please, can we sleep now because I'm very tired.”

Neha goes to her bed, “Alright.”

Even Sara was not really sleepy, but she didn't want to talk anymore. She just wanted to think about Aaron and nothing else. She knew that nobody would find out that if she was thinking about a guy or not. After a few minutes, she realized that whatever she was thinking is wrong because she didn't want to think about something that she will never achieve. So, she promised herself that she will not think about him anymore, but there was something about him that made her for the first time think about a guy. She convinced herself to go to sleep and keep her promise no matter what happens. After a few minutes, she falls asleep. It was six o'clock in the morning when Sara wakes up.

Sara looks at the clock, “Hey, Neha get up. It's six o'clock and if we don't get ready, then we'll be late for school. C'mon, get up” Shoves her off the bed.

Neha sleeping and rubbing her eyes, “Hmm, I don't feel like going to school today. I want to take the day off.”

Sara shakes her and finally, she gets up, “No, Neha. We have to go or else I will go with Johnathan to the prom tonight, get it.”

Neha standing up immediately, “Man, you're a really bad girl. I don't like you.”

They get up and get ready for school. Sara gets ready first and tells Neha that she needs to go home because she forgot her Spanish book at home and today, she really needs that book. She takes her car keys and drives back to her home. She cuts the engine and runs inside. She saw that her parents were having breakfast because they had to be at their job at eight o'clock, so stands at the corner of the breakfast table and greets them.

Sara greets, “Good morning, mom and dad.”

“Good Morning” Her father was lost in reading the newspaper and drinking coffee, but her mother was worried about her and wanted to know if she had breakfast, “Did you have breakfast?”

Sara told her, “Yes, I need to go get my book and I'm getting late for school.”

She runs to her room and gets the book. She says goodbye to her parents and runs out of the house. She drove to school and as usual John was standing outside waiting for her. She parks the car and Neha gets out first. She runs to John because she wanted to confirm if he was still going to the prom with her.

Neha asked John, “We are still going to the Prom together, right?” Now, Sara was standing beside her and she signaled John with her hands to tell her no.

John thought that she wanted to go with him that's why she was telling him to say no, “Hmm... I'm really sorry Neha because...” Neha cuts him.

Neha frustrated, “I knew this was gonna happen” she gets mad at Sara, she was laughing at her, “Why are you laughing?” John was also confused because he didn't know what was happening.

Sara explains, “Nothing and he is going with you because I told him to say no to you just right now. I wanted to see your reaction.” Neha hits her on her shoulder. Sara runs inside the school and Neha runs after her.

Neha running behind her, “Sara, I won't leave you today.”

While they were running, Sara bumps into somebody and see that it was Aaron, who she bumped into. She tried to ignore him and wanted to keep running, but then he calls her.

Aaron calls out to her, “You can't ignore me like this.” So, she stops there, “Hello?” Neha stops there too.

Sara said, “Excuse me, do I know you by any chance?” He laughs and turns to Neha, “does she have a short-term memory loss? Or she is just pretending that she had never seen me?”

Neha tells him, “she is like that, but how come you're here?” She doesn't pay attention to them anymore and tries to sneak from there, but Neha holds her hand. So, she can't go away.

Aaron staring at Sara, “I was here because my father wanted me to come here and meet someone, but I didn't know that my morning could be very beautiful, and this meeting could be very delightful.” He was looking at Sara. John comes in too and Sara tries to rescue her hand from Neha, so she could go with John, but Neha doesn't let go of her hand.

Sara tries to release her hand, “please, let me go; I have to go meet my Spanish teacher because I need to know when is the test. Please let me go.” She pinches Neha and tries to release her hand.

John asks, “what are you doing here, and why are you holding Sara's hand so tight?” He looks at Aaron and from his expression, it looks like that he doesn't like Aaron. “You're hurting her hand, Neha” He made Neha release her hand.

Sara smiling, “thank you, John. I think we should go now.” but Neha doesn't move from her spot. “Alright, if you don't want to go, that's fine. Shall we go, John?”

Both of them walk away, “Yeah, Come.” They leave and Sara turns to see Aaron. He was looking at her while she was walking with John.

Aaron asking Neha, “have I done something wrong? Why is she behaving like this? Does she behave like this with everyone?”

Neha smiling, “no, she doesn't. She's very nice to everybody.”

Sara heard him say that because she wasn't far enough and she wanted to turn around to give him an answer, but she didn't want to give him any importance. But she doesn't realize that she already is giving too much importance to him. She didn't realize that he means too much to him and wants to see him all the time, but she doesn't know that yet. She thinks that she could only hate him and nothing else. The bell rings, everybody in the hallway goes to their classes. Sara does her editing during her first period as usual, but she was so stressed out because she couldn't concentrate on her work; she was still thinking about Aaron and she didn't have anybody to talk to, who she could tell that she can't stop thinking about him.

Ms. Daisy comes up and looks at her screen, “I can't stop thinking about him and...” Sara minimizes the screen. “What are you writing? I think you really need to take a break, what happened to you? Why are you acting strangely from the morning? Is everything alright?” She had her head down on the table and finally picks it up.

Sara responds, “No, I'm absolutely fine. I was just thinking about something and I don't know how I started typing that. I'm really sorry. I am absolutely fine, and I will only concentrate on the story and nothing else, I promise.”

Daisy making her realize the load of work, “yeah, honey because the deadline is near, and you have to edit like six stories. I don't know how you're going to manage it.”

Sara said, “ma'am, I'll edit them on time, and don't worry everything will be printed by the deadline.” She gives her a big smile; Ms. Daisy laughs and leaves for her office. “I need to finish and stop thinking about somebody, who isn't very important” talking to herself.

So, she started editing her stories, and when the class end, she runs to meet Neha.

“Hey, Neha. Wait?” Neha was about to go to her class and Sara stopped her.

Neha looking around, “yeah, what's up?”

Sara tried to ask, “hmm, I was just wondering, did he ask anything else about me?” Each word pressed so hard that it sounded like she wanted to say something but wasn't coming out of her mouth.

Neha pretending, “Who?” Sara rolls her eyes, “Oh, I see. Why are you asking about him? When you see him, you act strangely, but now you want to know that if he asked about you or not? Why do you act so weird in front of him? Do you like him, or you hate him? Just tell me what you think about him?” She was asking so many questions that Sara didn't know what to answer.

Sara told her, “please, stop. I try to be normal, but I don't know what's happening to me. Whenever I see him, I get out of control. I don't know what happens to me.” She starts to stress herself out and puts her right hand on her forehead. “Please, tell me what should I do? I don't want to think about him, but whenever I stop thinking about him, he comes in front of me. I don't know why this is happening to me.”

Neha asks, “Do you like him?” She suddenly answers her question, “No, I know that for sure, but I know that I hate him.” She lies to her because she doesn't want to dream about something that she can't have.

Neha putting pressure on her shoulder, “please, stop, Sara. Stop lying to yourself and me because I know you very well. You never felt this way for anybody, and” the bell rings, “I'll talk to you during the next period. Okay.”

Sara repeated, “Yeah, but I don't like him. Okay.” Neha laughs.

“Stubborn” Sara sticks her tongue out and they leave for their classes.

Sara goes to Mr. Brook's class and now she felt a little better telling Neha how she felt. She was laughing at herself because whatever she told her made her feel a little stupid. She didn't know if she could ever like him. She started laughing aloud in the class that didn't realize that she was in class.

Mr. Brooks in a loud voice, “something funny, Ms. Khan?”

Sara replied, “no, Sir.”

Mr. Brooks was giving a lecture to his class and was telling them they're gonna have a test on Monday. Now, Sara was happy that finally there was a test because she got tired of listening to the lectures, which she already knows everything about. She wanted to graduate early, but her parents didn't want her to graduate early because she was too young, and they didn't want her to face real life so early. She was so frustrated with her parents because they stopped her from everything she wanted to do or was good for her. They didn't know a lot about school because they never went to school in America. They didn't want their daughter to face any kind of trouble in her life, so they did whatever they thought was right. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes on and all the teachers try to take the students out of the building. Everybody got out very fast and teachers told students to stay away from the building because there was a fire somewhere in the building. Sara wanted to find Neha now because she wanted to ask her what she was telling her earlier. So, she walks around the parking lot and sees that Neha was with Aaron. She was talking to him and Sara got very angry because she didn't want to see him. Whenever she saw him, it gave her hope to meet the one she was waiting for and she hated that so much. She calls Neha aloud from where she was standing.

Sara shouted, “Neha” both of them turn around to face Sara “Come here” They were shouting to each other, “you come here because I can't. My teacher doesn't want anybody to leave from here. Come here.” She didn't want to go and stand where she was.

Sara looks at Aaron, “No, John is calling me over there. I'll see you later when you're free.”

Sara leaves from where she was standing to go find Johnathan and see that he was standing on the other side of the building where Neha was standing. She didn't want to go there, but she had to because she didn't want to stand alone by herself. So, she goes there and reaches where Aaron and Neha were standing. Neha calls her again.

“Hey, Sara” She caught from her arm to stop her. “Where are you going?” She snatched her arm from Neha like she was angry with her.

Sara replied, “I need to go talk to John about something really important” She doesn't even look at Aaron because she was so scared that she might end up being with him if she keeps seeing him like this, so ignores him.

Neha asked, “What's so important that you don't have the time to talk to me?”

Aaron answered for her, “hmm, I think Neha your friend has something very important to discuss with her boyfriend.” Now, Sara gives him confused look, “what did you just say?”

Neha told him, “he's not her boyfriend and she doesn't have a boyfriend.” There was a smile on his face because that's what he wanted to know if John was her boyfriend.

Aaron still smiling, “Oh, I see. Well, you're so pretty then how come you don't have a boyfriend?”

Sara gives him an angry look, “why should I answer your question?”

Neha in a low voice, “Sara, please.”

Sara tries to leave, “I have to go and now I don't want to stay here for another minute.”

John putting his hand up, “Hey, What's up girl. Why are you looking upset?” She looked back to Neha and Aaron that if they were still there or not.

Sara still looks in the other direction, “Nothing, I saw you, so I thought that I should come here and talk to you. If you are busy, then it's okay” looks at his friends, who were talking to him.

John tells her, “no, it's fine. what is it?”

“I just want to ask you that when are you going to pick up Neha for the Prom?” her focus was still on Neha and Aaron.

John told her, “Well, I told her that I'll pick her up around 7 o'clock. Why?” She looks back at Neha and sees that Aaron was not there.

Sara waved, “No, I was just asking. You talk to your friend and I'll go and talk to Neha now because she is standing alone over there.” points in the direction where Neha was standing and walks toward Neha. “Hey, Neha. Your friend left?”

“Yeah, but don't call him my friend?” She was smiling and Sara got confused.

“What?” Neha turns the other way.

Sara impatiently asking her, then Neha says, “He told me that he …” she stops there.

“What is it? Don't scare me? Come on, tell me. What happened?” Sara turns her around to face her.

Neha told her, “He likes me and wants to go out with me.” Her heart stopped all of sudden, and she was in shock now. She couldn't hear Neha anymore and Neha shakes her after few minutes. “Were you listening to me or not?”

Sara coming back to consciousness, “What? He said that to you.”

She was still in shock, but she could hear Neha now. She thought that he was the only person she ever liked for the first time in her life and thought a lot about him, but he liked her best friend not her. She wanted to cry, but she didn't want anybody to know that she liked somebody, who doesn't like her because everybody will wonder that how can somebody not like her because she is so beautiful that even God couldn't refuse to say that she is the most beautiful girl in the whole universe that God has created.

Neha who was still smiling, “Yep, I'm serious. You don't believe me, right?”

Sara couldn’t accept it, “No, it's not that, but you love John. Don't you?”

“Yeah, but he is not made for me.” Now, Sara was thinking that how could someone say no to somebody so handsome and charming. “I loved him so much, but he likes you and I can't make him love me the same way I love him.”

Sara told her, “Yeah, you're right. Nobody can make anybody love the same way that you love the other person.”

Neha expresses, “He asked me to go out with him tonight and I told him that first you're gonna have to approve him, then I will say yes to him. Aren't you happy for me that I finally found somebody, who likes me or maybe loves me?”

Now, Sara was facing the other way because she felt so bad and she didn't want to talk to Neha anymore because she knew how Sara felt about Aaron. Suddenly, she realizes that what she was doing; she wanted to cry for somebody she barely knew or doesn't know at all. She thought that she should not cry and be happy for her friend because she was looking for her true love, and she found him.

Neha shakes Sara, “Aren't you happy for me?”

Sara calms herself saying that he is not important to her and not more than her best friend. She laughs and tells her how happy she is for her. “Oh my God, you finally found that one you've been looking for. I'm so happy for you. I'm so glad that you found somebody who likes you as you always wanted.”

She started laughing aloud, and Aaron comes from behind Sara. They both started laughing at her. “What happened?” Aaron waves his hand not to tell Sara whatever they were up to.

Neha said, “No, nothing.”

Aaron comes up, “Hello, once again.”

Sara apologizes, “I'm really sorry about whatever I've done to you. I thought that you were just trying to …”

Aaron responds, “Flirt with you.” Sara speaks immediately.

Sara immediately says, “no, no way. I was saying that I thought that you were trying to,” thinks and then says “trouble me. That's all. I just hate those people who give me trouble and well you have given me trouble. First, you parked at our spot and”

He looks into her eyes while she was talking to him and he comes forward like two steps. She backs off a little and thinks that he likes her best friend and why she was behaving with him like this. Now, she wasn't saying anything and both of them were looking in each other's eyes for a minute and Sara pretends to look somewhere else. “hmm...”

“It's okay, I forgive you.” Sara looks back at him and he was still looking at her the way he was looking at her a minute ago.

“Thank you.” Talking to Neha now, “I don't know when they're gonna tell us to go back inside. It's already lunchtime.”

Naha replied, “Yeah, you're right.” Now, Sara didn't have any problem standing with them because she didn't need to be afraid of anything now.

Aaron still looking at Sara, “So, am I approved?”

Sara answered, “Yeah, of course. I mean that if Neha likes you, then how can I have a problem with you going out with her.”

She didn't want that to happen and she was going through a very difficult time. She wanted to leave everybody and run away from there. She didn't know what was happening to her and she started to have a headache because lots of things were going on in her head. She didn't know what to do because she couldn't cry or laugh either. She felt like she was going to have a heart attack because her heart was beating so fast that she didn't know what to do with it. She couldn't tell her best friend what was happening to her. She wanted to talk to God, but that wasn't the right time.

She was so eager to meet her mother because she thought that her parents were right about love. They used to tell her that love doesn't exist and if somebody does fall in love, then it gives them pain. Then all of sudden she realized that she was in love with Aaron. She was in love with a guy, who liked her best friend, and she couldn't even blame her because whatever she has done to Aaron, it was her fault that she let him go.

She was feeling dizzy and she felt like her heart broke into two parts. She was in a position that she could talk to anybody, her throat felt like it was going to blow out. She couldn't cry and it was stuck in her throat, she wanted to somebody about how she felt at that time when Neha told her that Aaron likes her and wants to go out with her. She wanted to kill herself right at that time, but she was so strong that she didn't make anybody realize how she was feeling. Aaron and Neha were smiling at each other and sometimes Aaron looked at Sara.

Aaron talking to Neha, “Hey, how about if I take you to the Prom tonight?” Sara's heart stopped again, and she wanted to scream now, but she couldn't.

“That's a great idea,” Neha was looking at Sara now and Sara gave her a big smile, she didn't know how Sara felt inside. “But I can't because I'm going with John and he's going to be mad if I refuse to go with him at the last minute.”

Sara speaks immediately because she didn't want Neha to go with Aaron. “Yeah, you're right. I think you should go with him.” Aaron and Neha gave Sara a confused look, “I mean to say that he's going to feel lonely. He wanted to go to the Prom and now if you refuse to go with him, then he's gonna be mad with you and me.”

“How about you come with me?” Aaron asks Sara and she looks confused at him, “I mean to say that I can go with you and she can go with Johnathan” points at Neha. “After entering inside, both of us can get together.”

“That's a great idea.” Sara in disagreement.

Sara nodding, “No, that's a bad idea because I refused to go with Johnathan in the first place and if he finds out that I'm planning to go with your boyfriend” points at Aaron, who was looking only at her, “then he's going to kill me. I can't go, I'm really sorry. I can't help you with that.”

Neha begging, “I know that you don't believe in love, but I do, and I have found my love. Please, you've always helped me. This is the last time. Please, please, please.”

“No, I'm really sorry, Neha, but this time I can't help you.” She tries to leave from there, but Neha immediately says this before she could leave from there. “You're jealous because Aaron likes me not you.” Neha knew how to make Sara go to the Prom with Aaron.

“What? I'm not jealous of you and you know that.” Neha didn't look convinced to her, so she tells her, “Alright, I'll go with Aaron and I'm only doing this for you. Happy.”

Neha gives her a tight hug and Sara wanted to cry while she was hugging her, but Aaron's eyes caught her eyes. He was looking at her like he loved her so deeply, which anybody could tell. Sara moves her eyes from Aaron's eyes and leaves from there.

Aaron calls her again. “Sara, wait. Hmm … this is my number” gives him the card back “no, keep it and call me when you are ready.” takes back the card, “You know what I'll come and pick you up around 7, is that fine with you?”

Sara half-heart smiling, “Yeah, it's fine. I'll be ready at that time.” turns around to walk away again.

Aaron calls out, “Your address?” turns back again, “For how long you are here?”

Aaron told her, “I'm here until I don't meet the principal.”

“He's over there” Sara points in the direction where the principal was announcing and tell everybody to go inside, “and after you meet him, I'll show you my home because I'm done with today and Neha as well. You can follow me home and pick me up at 7.”

Aaron asks again, “Alright, so where are you going to meet me?”

Neha winks at him, “we'll wait in the parking lot and you can come straight there.”

Sara said, “Okay, then we'll see you there.”

Neha waves at him and they go to the parking lot to go home, they didn't have the last two periods because they were seniors and had all the credits they needed to graduate. They only needed two classes to graduate, which were Biology and History, and the other two classes were just to complete school requirements. She was scared about going to the Prom with Aaron because she didn't know how she will control herself to watch the guy she loves with her “best friend”. Now, she had to convince her parents to let her go to the Prom. She didn't know what she is going to tell her parents, so they could let her go to the Prom.

Sara asks Neha, “What am I going to tell my mom?”

“Don't worry, I've thought about it. Remembered last time you told your mother that we were going to the University for our project?” Neha smiling.

Sara confused, “Yeah, so?”

Neha told her, “So, we can tell her again that we're going there with our friends and we won't be late. I know that she won't refuse.”

Sara was frustrated, “No, she's not gonna let me go. I'm telling you, it's not a good excuse.”

“What's not a good excuse?” He was back so fast that Sara thought he made an excuse that he came to meet the principal, but in actual he came to meet Neha.

Neha told him, “That we're gonna go to the University.” Sara speaks immediately, “Don't worry, I'll take care of everything and I've already promised you that I'll go with your boyfriend, so don't worry.” She didn't like to say the word “boyfriend”, but she didn't have any choice.

Neha pretending to say sorry, “Thanks, I'm sorry that I'm pressurizing you so much, right?”

Sara feeling guilty, “No, no. You're just doing this because you found your true love and I told you before that it doesn't mean, if I don't believe in love, then you won't get your love. I'm always ready to help you.”

She didn't want her friend to feel that she was dying inside. Now she realized what true love is called. Love is not something that you always get. Love also means that you are happy if your beloved one is happy. Just to see a smile on your beloved ones' faces, you're ready to do anything. Of course, Aaron was happy with Neha, and to see him smile, made Sara smile too. They were near their car now.

Neha told Aaron, “Sara's going to drop me home first, and then you can follow her home.”

“Okay.” Neha goes and opens the passenger's door to sit with Sara, “Neha, why don't you go with your boyfriend? I mean to say that he can follow me home first and then drop you home. I don't have any problem dropping you home, but you'll have some more time with him.” Now Neha looked a little stressed.

Aaron told her, “Sure, come to Neha, I'll drop you home.”