Chapter 39 For Tonight, We Forget

Chapter 39 For Tonight, We Forget
Ivy

The city lights looked like tiny glowing bugs against the dark glass and for the first time in a week I didn't feel like I was choking. Lucian held my hand so tight like he was afraid I would just disappear into the air if he let go. We were finally away from that big scary house and the sick man who thinks I am my sister 

"You look like you're thinking way too much again, Ivy," Lucian said and he walked over to me, his boots making a soft sound on the floor.

"It’s just hard to stop, you know? At the mansion, I have to be so careful with every word and every look because if Alistair finds out I'm not Zara, I don't even know what he would do to me," I whispered and I felt my hands shaking a little bit.

Lucian reached out and took my hands in his and they were so big and warm and they made the shaking stop almost right away. "He isn't here, Ivy. Nobody is here but us and I told you, I’m not going to let anything happen to you."

"But what if he gets better? What if he starts asking more questions about why I don't remember things?" I asked and I looked up at him, feeling really small.

"Then we deal with it then, but tonight is just for us," Lucian said and his voice was real deep and it made my tummy feel all fuzzy. "I brought you here on the bike so no one would follow us and I locked the door and the world can just go away for a while."

"I like it when we're alone," I said and I leaned my head against his chest and listened to his heart beating real steady. "It’s the only time I feel like I can breathe."

Lucian put his chin on top of my head and he held me real tight. "I hate that you have to live in that house, Ivy. I hate that my father looks at you and sees something he wants to own."

"He thinks I'm her," I reminded him and I felt a little bit sad. "He thinks I'm the girl who was supposed to marry him."

"But I know who you are," Lucian said and he pulled back just enough to look at my eyes. "I see Ivy. I see the girl who is way braver than she thinks she is."

"Am I brave?" I asked and I felt a little smile tugging at my mouth.

"The bravest person I know," he said and then he leaned down and kissed my forehead and it felt so nice I closed my eyes. "Let's forget everything. Just us, for now."

His breath was hot against my ear and it made me shiver, but not because I was cold. I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget my parents and Zara and the way my life was a big mess ever since I stepped into that mansion. I reached up and put my arms around his neck and I could smell the leather from his jacket and the way the wind smelled when we were riding fast on his bike.

"Okay," I whispered. "Let's forget."

Lucian didn't wait after I said that. He picked me up and my feet left the floor and I felt so light, like I was floating. He carried me over to the big bed and laid me down real gentle, but his eyes were dark and full of something that made me feel all hot inside. He started taking off his shirt and I watched him, thinking about how lucky I was that he liked me back. His muscles were hard and he looked so strong, like he could protect me from anything in the world.

"Are you sure?" he asked and he paused, looking at me to make sure I was okay.

"I've never been more sure of anything, Lucian," I said and I reached out to touch his arm. "I want to be with you. I need to be with you."

He leaned down and kissed me then and it wasn't a gentle kiss like before. it was hungry and deep and it made me feel like I was melting into the mattress. I ran my hands over his back and he groaned a little bit, which made me feel powerful even though I was just a girl from a sad house. We moved together and it was like all the fear and the lies were just burning away in the heat between us.

"You're so beautiful, Ivy," he whispered against my skin and he said my real name so soft, like it was a secret treasure.

"I love it when you say my name," I told him and I pulled him closer because I couldn't get enough of the way he felt.

Everything was moving fast and slow at the same time and I didn't care about tomorrow or the Hales or the money. I just cared about the way Lucian was holding me and the way his hands felt on my waist. It felt like we were the only two people left in the world and that was the best feeling ever. I wrapped my legs around him, our bodies entwined, finding a dangerous freedom in our shared secret.

After a long time, when the room was quiet and we were just lying there catching our breath, I felt so peaceful. Lucian was lying on his side, watching me, and he reached out to move a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"I don't want to go back," I said into the quiet.

"I know," Lucian said and he sounded a little bit sad too. "But we have to play the game a little longer until we can get you out for good."

I shifted a little bit and that’s when I saw it. On his side, just above his ribs, there was a tattoo I hadn't noticed before because it had been dark or we were moving too much. It looked like a bunch of straight lines and dots, almost like a code or a weird map.

"What is that?" I asked and I reached out to touch the ink with my finger.

Lucian stayed real still for a second and I thought maybe I shouldn't have asked, but then he took a deep breath. "It’s a tribute. To my mother."

"Your mother?" I repeated and I looked at the lines again. "It looks like a code."

"It is a code," he said and his voice got real soft, the way people talk when they are thinking about someone they miss a lot. "It’s the coordinates of the place where she used to take me when I was a little boy. A little garden hidden away from my father’s reach. She told me it was the only place where we were truly free."

I felt a lump in my throat because I knew how much he loved her and how much he hated Alistair for what happened. "It’s beautiful, Lucian."

"She used to tell me that no matter how dark things got, I had to remember where I came from," he said and he looked down at the tattoo. "The dots... they represent the stars she taught me to name. She said if I ever got lost, I should look at the sky and find my way back to myself."

I leaned over and kissed the tattoo real soft and he pulled me into his arms again. He was showing me a part of him that he never showed anyone, a part that was hurt and lonely, just like I was.

"Thank you for telling me," I whispered.

"I've never told anyone that, Ivy. Not even the people I trust the most," he said and he kissed the top of my head. "But you're different. You're the emerald I have to protect, remember?"

"I remember," I said and I closed my eyes.