Chapter 5: I'm Holding a Heart, Here is My Hands; My Own Work of Art, Here Where I Stand

Jada:

Jada’s fingers were clenched into a fist around the straps of her suitcases. Her little encounter with Darrell earned her the boot, but she wasn’t sad, or angry, not even afraid. This was not the other shoe; she was still waiting for that one to drop. This was just the next step in her journey. The path was unknown to her, but the traveller was someone she was familiar with.

It was going to be fine. There was nothing to be afraid of.

Jada dropped her suitcases on the sand and walked towards the water. This beach had borne witness many monumental moments in her life. It was probably the reason she felt so at home near the water. People were afraid of the ocean, not because they could drown in it, but because of its immensity, because it was unfathomable. They were afraid of being carried into the deep waters, they feared what they assumed would only be death once the waves carried them away.

Jada didn’t fear the unknown, because to her the known was what she feared the most. There was nothing left for her here, it wasn’t her home anymore. It stopped being so when her father died. She watched the waves roll and push the water to her feet and smiled. She wondered about the journey that it had taken before it had reached her beach and her tennis shoes.

She loved the ocean because it was so open, a symbol of all the possibilities waiting for her in this great big world. It symbolized freedom. Jada would dream about how the water would carry her away, not to something better, but towards something different.

The roars of the rolling waves as they crushed against each other, echoed in her chest, reminding her of the raging beat of her heart, of the desire to be. The opposite of that was the gentle swishing sound as the waves slowed down into a state of rest, it made her calm, it reminded her to just be. Telling her that whenever she got to wherever she was going to take a second and appreciate this moment because the pain she would leave behind would soon fade and be forgotten. She thought of the quote by Ida Scott Taylor, ‘Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it is yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.’

Jada was determined to live her life by this quote for the rest of her life.

Life was too short to hold onto the ugly parts of it.

A few movements of silent conversations with the water helped her make up her mind about her last move. Right now, there was nothing she could do but wait for the morning. Then she would leave, where to, she didn’t know. But for now, she would head to the cabin she shared with Luke. She still had a key, and although Jade didn’t know of the arrangements made with the owner of the house, just for tonight she would stay there. Then tomorrow morning she would set off for her new adventure.

***

It was surreal, stepping into that cabin again. The warmth was still there, the air was dusty and part of her expected Luke to appear from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Being here wasn’t making anything better, the memories were just as bad, if not worse than Nina. It just reminded her how lost she was, how she so desperately desired something that was hers. She lay her palm on her flat belly, the evidence of her whirlwind affair wasn’t showing yet. She wondered if this baby was that one thing that would be hers. For the longest time, she had felt that God had forsaken her, was this her consolation price, His way of reminding her that this new life was a sign that He had yet to give up on her? Or was this baby just another test, something to show Jada that she still had some fight left in her. Or it just could be the final nail on her coffin.

She didn’t care at that moment. Jada just wanted to lay down in silence and pretend that the ocean was carrying her away, somewhere far.

Anywhere.

Jada dropped onto the stripped bed, maybe this was her soft place to land. Probably not, but she had been falling for so long that wishful thinking occasionally seemed into her realistic thoughts. The mattress was colder, harder than she remembered. Most of all it was empty. She wondered if fate had brought her here to tell her that maybe Luke was who she needed in her life. When he was around, he gave her a small respite from her chaotic life. Maybe the baby was there to push her towards the man who had made her feel like a beautiful worthy woman.

Maybe letting him go was a mistake.

She wouldn’t know until he found him.

This was the road fate wanted her to take, Jade convinced herself.

***

Jada stared at the business card as she flipped it between her fingers, thinking if this was a good idea, telling herself that she should have called ahead first. But she also reminded herself that this was the only way, it was harder to turn someone away when they were face to face.

She groaned to herself as she reflected on her latest, not too good, but not so terrible idea. Coming to New York without knowing who she was going to see or what would come next was a dumb idea. After a night of searching through the villa, Jada had found a black card with only a phone number and address engraved in it. From under the bed came her new direction in life. She didn’t give herself time to think it through, she told herself it was better this way. Besides with her type of news, she preferred to give it to Luke face to face.

She did think about it that may be the card did not belong to Luke. But since it was in Luke’s villa, the person on the card would know him, and from there she would get her next direction.

It was such a bad and dumb idea, but here she was standing in front of the most majestic building she had ever seen. This was her first time in New York, and she could only describe it as a hive. Everyone was buzzing around, in a rush to get somewhere, bumping into people, and not taking a second to apologize. It surely was a concrete jungle, with the building rising to the cloud and casting a shade over the streets, she only imagined that this was what the Amazon was like. Tall trees and a diverse group of animals, predators, and preys, rushing about with things to do.

Jada stared at the building and the security guards stared at her. She wondered what exactly was in this building that it needed doormen in suits and earpieces. When she looked up the address on the internet all it said was it was a private building. It didn’t have people rushing in and out of it as the other residences did. There were just the two security guards, and through the glass doors, she saw a reception desks with two smartly dressed women manning it.

The guards didn’t approach her, so she cautiously moved towards them. She held the card out to them, and their reactions surprised her. Their gazes switched from the card to her, their eyebrows raised in question. Without a word, they used a security card and opened the large glass doors for her, handed her back the card and took her bags.

“I’m going to get those back, right?” She asked.

All he did was nod as he ushered her in.

Jada murmured a nervous thank you before walking in. Her eyes went wide in wonder as she took in the minimalistic and yet arresting décor. The white made the reception area look wider than it was, accents of brass and copper fixings strategically placed. It wasn’t much, but it screamed expensive luxury.

Jada smiled at the stoic ladies glaring at her, trying to disarm, crack the hard-set expression, and hopefully win back a welcoming smile. That didn’t happen, so instead, she handed them the card, hoping that they would grant her entry just as easily as it had before. Immediately one of them got on the phone, while the other continued to watch her intently. After a few intense hushed toned words, the lady on the phone hung up and gestured for Jada to follow her.

Everything about everyone she had met so far seemed odd. She now began regretting her decision to come here without calling ahead first. The lady deposited her into the elevator and pressed the only button there was, it didn’t even say which floor she was going to, and the mannequin didn’t volunteer any information. It was strange that the elevator of such a large building only had one floor to go to.

As the elevator sped to the top, wild imaginations danced in Jada’s mind. The identity of the man she was going to meet went from the mafia to sex traffickers, politicians to billionaires. 

Jada pulled at her collar as the elevator turned into a hot box. She grabbed for something to hold onto as her vision greyed. Swearing she stumbled back and leaned on the wall. She could feel her legs begin to give up on her as the elevator suddenly stopped and the doors opened. There was a blur of a man standing there, Jada fought for balance and tried to move towards him, but instead, she slid boneless against the wall and onto the floor and her vision went black.

Jada drifted in and out of consciousness, she heard voices around her, but she couldn’t place any of them. One sounded controlled, the other a little irritated and the third one had a comforting calmness to it. She snuggled deeper into the cloud that had wrapped itself around her. It was so comfortable and warm. She told herself that it was okay to fall asleep that nothing bad would happen in a place so comfy. But her wild imagination kicked back up, what if they stole her organs. 

Jada’s eyes flew open as she shot up into a sitting position. Two men stared back at her, eyes wide in shock. Her fuddled mind slowed her tongue, as her mouth opened and closed, no doubt making her look like a fish.

Should I smile, should I say hello?

“Where am I?” She finally managed.

The older of the two gentlemen moved to what she now realized was a sofa and not a cloud, startling Jada and making her scoot over to the very end. A little more and she would be over the armrest and no doubt on the floor.

“Careful,” he said. This was the kind voice. The man grabbed Jada’s arm and held it steady.

As Jada made to pull her arm back, his grip tightened. He then settled a ‘please stop that’ look on her. Jada looked at where his fingers cuffed her arm and for the first time noticed the tube running from her arm to an elevated pole behind her. Jada had an IV in her hand. In full panic mode, she ran her free hand over her torso, looking for wounds that shouldn’t be there, and things that should be there but weren’t.

As if realizing what was she was thinking, the older man let out a humorous laugh. “You still have all your organs, at least what you walked in with. I’m Dr. Frost,” he gestured to the stethoscope around his neck as if it would offer Jada comfort.

Jada turned to the other gentleman, “And you are?”

“Why are you here?” He was the owner of the irritated tone, Jada realized. “How did you get my card?”

Jada cleared her throat and turned back to the doctor, “I didn’t give you permission to treat me.”

“Then you shouldn’t have collapsed in my elevator,” the annoyed one answered.

“Mr. Smith didn’t know what to do with you after he carried you out of the elevator, so he called me.” Jada wondered if it was a requirement for doctors to practice smiling because ever since she came to that was all Dr. Frost had been doing, smiling at her and comforting her. A huge difference to the man who didn’t look like he would mind if Jada left the building through the window.

“When was the last time you ate?” the doctor asked.

“Last night,” Jada answered. It was the last supper; how could she forget how Nina tormented her through dinner only to make their mother kick her out of the house a few hours later.

“Why are you here Miss Williams?” Mr. Smith asked pointedly and impatient.

He must be exhausting to be around. Wait a minute…

“How did you know my name?” Jada had left her bags at the reception; her wallet and ID were in there. How did this man know who she was? They probably brought them up you dummy.

Mr. Smith let out an exasperated sigh then asked, “Do you have a preference or would anything be okay.”

“Anything?” she asked cautiously.

“What would you like to eat?” Dr. Frost asked.

“Fries,” she paused deliberately. Smith’s shifts from foot to foot with obvious spasms of impatience, amused her. “A ginger ale, a burger, and maybe a cheese pizza.”

Smith narrowed his gaze at her but left without another word to her. However, he came back even before Jada could get a chance to miss him. He held out his arm to Jada and with his eyes gestured that she should take it. No longer cautious of her new best friend, Jada accepted his offer. Smith took her IV bag and escorted her to a deeper part of the room. Just like the lobby, this room was grand with delicate deliberate accents that spoke money. Whoever, she managed to inconvenience herself upon, was rich.

They finally came up to two grand frosted glass doors. They opened inwardly as if on command. Smith led Jada into an office with a large mahogany desk and an even more intimidating man behind the desk. 

“Is she awake?” he asked without looking up.

“Yes sir,” Smith answered.

The man finally looked up and Jada almost wished he didn’t. It was obvious that he was the owner of the third voice, controlled, deliberate, intimidating, and yet very calm. The man’s unblinking stare made her weak, not from hunger but his aura. His face was the study of emotionless expression. He tilted his head to the side as his brow rose in question.

“I am, Mr. Sir,” Jada’s heart was beating in quick bumpy jerks, and her voice shuddered out. She forced herself to draw it in slowly. 

The man’s eyes never left, and Jada noticed that besides being very intimidating, he was incredibly handsome. His dark eyes played of his black hair and olive skin. If a storm had a face, she imagined that he would fit the perfect bill.

“Duke,” he said, his booming voice occupying every crevice of his office once more.

“Huh? Oh yes! Of course, Mr. Duke,” she stuttered.

“Smith, I would have come to you,” Duke said.

“She’s fine Sir,” Smith said as he led her to the couch on the side of the office, “She’s just hungry. I have ordered some food for her; it should be here soon.”

Duke stood up from behind his desk and walked over to where she was. Jada’s breath caught in her throat as she watched him. The man was a castle unto himself or at least a tower. The size of him mirrored his voice and this building to perfection. And his presence could only be described by one word, giant. He was tall, formidable, all hard lines and impenetrable fortitude.

“You must excuse Smith here,” he walked over and folded his largeness and sat on a coffee table across from her. His eyes never leaving hers and a grin at the corners of his mouth, he continued, “You see, for the life of him Smith can’t figure out how you got a hold of his card. He also didn’t know that you were coming here. He likes knowing things. In fact, his job description is to be in the know.”

“I found it under a bed,” Jada whispered. “And I also didn’t know I was coming here, not until this morning that is.” 

Duke smiled and leaned into her. “Why are you here Miss Williams?”

Duke’s smile didn’t fool her. She still saw his guarded expression and the heat of his gaze was already starting to make her sweat. His intensity reminded her of a tornado if she wasn’t careful, she would end up swept up in it with no way of escaping.

“I’m looking for someone, and I found this card, Mr. Smith’s card, under his bed. So, I came here,” Jada answered.

“Why are you looking for this person?”

A knock on the door drew Duke’s attention from her and to Dr. Frost who walked into the room, the expression on his face a message that Duke immediately understood.

“I would like her to come in for a few more tests, once you’ve figured this all out,” Dr. Frost said before taking out her IV and quickly taking his leave.

“When is the food coming Smith?” Duke asked as he leaned back. He made a single sharp exhalation that drained all the tension from his body, making his shoulders slump. But after just a slight reprieve, his back straightened. 

“It’s here,” Smith said.

“Is it Christopher’s?” Duke’s tone became softer as he skimmed his gaze over her.

It took Jada only a moment to realize what he was referring to. They knew she was pregnant, but there was something she didn’t understand. “Who is Christopher?”

Duke stiffened then combed his fingers through his short hair, “Don’t tell me it’s Christian?”

“Who?” Jada wondered if he was just going to list down names waiting for her to say yes to one. 

“Who is the father of your baby, Jada?” Duke asked a little annoyed.

Jada willed herself to be brazen and as confidently as she could, she said, “Luke Evans.”

“Luke or Evans?” he asked the confusion drawn on his face.

“Luke Evans,” she said as forcefully as she could without being rude.

Duke stood up and walked to his desk. He picked up one of the frames and brought it to her. “This Luke Evans, does he look like him?”

Jada smiled at Luke’s playful grin in the picture. She took it from Duke and stroked the length of it. Finally, she felt relaxed, she found him. “His hair color isn’t the same, but this is him. This is Luke Evans.”

“His hair is dark?” A calculating look settled on Duke’s face. He looked past Jada and at Smith who was standing behind her. Smith gave a slight nod and Duke nodded in understanding. “His name is Christopher Luke Henry; he is my younger brother.”

“Christopher?” Jada asked confused. “Are you sure it’s not Luke Evans?”

Duke scoffed, “I’m sure.”

Duke stood up and walked to the other side of the room, to the floor to ceiling window that had a beautiful view of the busy streets of New York. “A little ironic, or funny, don’t you think Smith? The last time a woman badged into my office was to tell me she was pregnant. And here we have another one. But the thing is, I have this feeling that this is going to turn out much worse.”

“Why would you say that?” Jada asked a little annoyed. She didn’t know his office was a revolving door of knocked up women. But she was offended that he would group her with the others. She was also a little worried that he would say that Luke was the fertile bull knocking up the all too willing women. Luke was hot as sin and rich. It was understandable that a few women would want to trap him. But Jada wasn’t one of them. 

“Because the last woman-”

“Last woman?” Jada cut him off.

“Let’s just say that Chris isn’t me.” 

Duke’s tone was almost apologetic like he felt sorry for her or her situation. He was remorseful for what would happen to her from that day on. That was the moment when Jada started to get worried. 

The frost doors opened once more and a long-legged redhead walked into the office. Her model-like body was wrapped in a rumor of a dress, as she balanced her body on a pair of red bottom heels. 

“Another one?” Jada and the woman said at the same time.

She let out a laugh that was melodic to the ear, but its carefree nature annoyed Jada a little bit. 

“Yours or Christopher’s, because we all know Kit is way too responsible to have accidents,” she said.

“And I’m not?” For the first time since she had met Duke, Jada saw a relaxed, flirtatious and playful side to him. Whoever this woman was, she was someone he seemed to trust very much.

“You are burdened by a sense of responsibility that turns your common sense to foolish duty. That is how you ended up tied to a manipulative woman for six years. Did she ever give birth to her pillow?” She teased.

“You are never going to let me live that down, are you Jessica?” There was warmth in the brown depth of his eyes as well as humor as he spoke. Although it might have been impossible to fathom a few moments before, Duke grew more handsome. His dark eyes ablaze with vitality had awakened something deep within her and stirred her heart into an unwelcomed gallop.

What the hell was going on?

Jada pulled at her non-existent collar and fanned herself as the temperature in the room rose. 

“Jada, this is Jessica. My best friend and colleague.” He introduced. “And this is Jada, Christopher’s… I’m not quite sure what she is to Christopher, but yes she is pregnant.”

“Who knew the dead man was so fertile,” Jessica teased. A joke that went right over Jada’s head and brought a hint of annoyance back to Duke’s face.

“I wonder if that boy will ever let me rest, my son isn’t as much trouble,” Duke groaned.

“Give him time. RD is a Henry. And Henry boys always leave trails of broken hearts behind them.” The laughter was out of her voice and replaced by resigned disappointment.

So, Jessica has a thing for Duke, and Duke is… Jada peeped at his left hand and didn’t find a ring. He mentioned a son, a fake pregnant chic, and nothing more. Whether Duke had someone he loved or not, it was obvious that Jessica wasn’t in his sights.

Duke gave Jessica an apologetic smile and turned his attention back to Smith. “Get her some food, a place to stay, and set up an appointment with Dr. Frost.” A quick look at his watch and he added, “I have a meeting to get to.”

“I’ll keep her company, maybe she’ll let me share her pizza,” Jessica said with a friendly smiled.

“What about Luke, I mean Christopher?” Jada asked urgently. Although she was grateful for his hospitality, she had come to see Luke and not spend time with Jessica or Smith. 

“We’ll talk later,” Duke said as he began to leave.

“But-,”

“I said later,” his controlled tone was back and the look in his eyes told Jada that he didn’t expect her to argue with him any further. She nodded and he left. 

Jessica sat beside her after Duke had left. She put a reassuring hand on Jada’s and she was grateful for it. “He’s not an ogre, he’s just burdened by his role as the firstborn. He was a pretty sweet, mousy, guitar-playing geek when we were younger.”

“How long have you been in love with him?” Jada asked sympathetically to Jessica’s obvious heartache. 

“Since we were teenagers.”

“And you never dated?”

“Not for a lack of trying on my part.” Jessica shrugged. “Duke isn’t the type to entertain misplaced emotions.”

“Misplaced?” Jada wondered how anyone could call love, a misplaced emotion.

“My love was misplaced on him, that is. Calling it unwanted love, stings a bit more,” Jessica winced as she said it.

“How do you bear it?” Jada had never been in love. She wasn’t quite sure what she felt for Luke, but she didn’t love him as much as Jessica loved Duke.

“With hardship. But I won’t have to any longer. I’m moving to London, right after I watch him marry a woman he has loved for five minutes.” The bitterness in Jessica’s tone sliced through Jada. “Sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep you company after all.”

“It’s okay.” Jada wasn’t sure how long she could take watching Jessica wearing her bleeding heart out. Not that she wasn’t sympathetic, but Jada had problems of her own. 

“Listen,” Jessica took Jada’s hand in her own. “I can promise you one thing, Duke will take care of you even if Christopher won’t. It’s a duty thing as well as a dad thing, or his fiancé turning him into a more compassionate person.” The bitterness was slipping back into Jessica’s tone. “Anyway, don’t be afraid, as long as the baby in your belly is a Henry, Duke will take care of both of you.”

Jessica gave Jada an unsolicited hug before leaving Jada alone to her thoughts, her worries, her fries, her burger, her pizza and ginger ale.