Chapter 36 THE LONGEST WEEKEND
Alex
The weekend crawled by like it was trying to torture them both.
Elias checked his phone every five minutes. Refreshed his email obsessively. Paced his apartment until Alex wanted to physically restrain him.
“They said Monday,” Alex reminded him for the hundredth time. “It’s still Saturday.”
“What if they changed their mind? What if they meant Monday as in ‘we’ll reject you Monday’?”
“That’s not how it works.”
“You don’t know that.”
Alex didn’t. But watching Elias spiral was worse than his own anxiety about his upcoming finals.
They tried to distract themselves. Went to a movie neither of them paid attention to. Got dinner at the Italian place where Elias pushed pasta around his plate. Walked through the park until the sun set and the cold drove them back inside.
Nothing worked. The interview hung over everything like a storm cloud.
Sunday morning, Elias woke up at 5 AM. Alex felt him leave the bed. Heard him in the kitchen making coffee. The quiet sounds of someone trying not to wake their partner but failing.
Alex got up. Found Elias sitting at his desk, laptop open, staring at his empty inbox.
“Come back to bed,” Alex said.
“I can’t sleep.”
“Then lie there and hold me. That’s better than staring at your email.”
Elias looked at him. Dark circles under his eyes. Hair sticking up. He looked exhausted and wired at the same time.
“What if I don’t get it?” Elias asked quietly.
“Then you apply somewhere else.”
“I’ve applied to twenty-three places. This is the only one that’s called back.”
“So far. It’s only April. You have time.”
“I have six weeks until graduation. Six weeks to figure out my entire life.”
Alex crossed the room. Took Elias’s hands and pulled him up. Led him back to bed. Made him lie down and wrapped around him from behind.
“Listen to me,” Alex said into the back of Elias’s neck. “Whatever happens Monday, we’re going to be okay. If you get the job, amazing. If you don’t, we figure out plan B.”
“There is no plan B.”
“There’s always a plan B. You’re smart and qualified and someone will hire you. Maybe not this magazine. But someone.”
“You sound very sure.”
“I am sure. I believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself.”
Elias’s body relaxed slightly. His breathing slowed. Alex held on tight.
They stayed like that until the sun came up. Until Elias’s alarm went off. Until reality demanded they start the day.
Sunday dragged. Every hour felt like three. Alex had studying to do but couldn’t focus. His econ textbook might as well have been in another language.
Sana texted around noon.
Sana: How’s he doing?
Alex: Not great. Obsessing over the interview.
Sana: Distract him. Make him think about something else.
Alex: How?
Sana: I don’t know. You’re the boyfriend. Be creative.
Alex looked at Elias on the couch. Laptop open. Refreshing email again.
“Get dressed,” Alex said.
“Why?”
“We’re going out.”
“I don’t want to go out.”
“Too bad. You need fresh air and sunlight and something other than your inbox to look at.”
Elias started to argue. Alex gave him the look Des had taught him. The one that said this wasn’t negotiable.
“Fine. Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
They drove to the botanical gardens outside town. Alex had been with Des freshman year. It was quiet and green and the opposite of Elias’s anxiety-filled apartment.
They walked the paths in silence. Spring flowers were blooming. The air smelled like dirt and growth. Other couples walked past, holding hands and taking photos.
“This is nice,” Elias said eventually.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
They found a bench under a cherry tree. Sat close together. Alex’s head on Elias’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry I’ve been impossible this weekend,” Elias said.
“You haven’t been impossible. You’ve been stressed.”
“Same thing.”
“Not really. Impossible would be if you were being mean or pushing me away. You’re just scared.”
“I hate being scared.”
“Everyone does. But you don’t have to be scared alone.”
Elias kissed the top of his head. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Probably not. But you’re stuck with me anyway.”
They stayed until the gardens closed. Drove back to Elias’s apartment as the sun set. Ordered pizza and watched a cooking show neither of them cared about.
It was almost normal. Almost peaceful.
Then Elias’s phone buzzed.
He looked at it. Went completely still.
“What?” Alex asked.
“Email. From the magazine.”
Alex’s heart stopped. “On Sunday night?”
“Yeah.”
“What does it say?”
Elias’s hands were shaking. He couldn’t seem to open it.
“I can’t look. You look.”
“Elias.”
“Please. I can’t. If it’s bad news I need a minute before I read it.”
Alex took the phone. His own hands were shaking now. He opened the email.
Read it.
Read it again to make sure he understood.
“Alex?” Elias’s voice was barely a whisper. “Just tell me. Is it bad?”
Alex looked up. He was smiling so hard his face hurt.
“They want to offer you the job.”
Elias stared. “What?”
“They’re offering you the position. Editorial assistant. Starting June first. They want to know if you’re still interested.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Look.” Alex showed him the screen.
Elias read it. His eyes got wet. His breath came fast and unsteady.
“They want me,” he said. Like he couldn’t believe it.
“They want you.”
“I got the job.”
“You got the job.”
Elias grabbed him. Pulled him into a kiss that was more relief than anything else. When they broke apart, he was laughing.
“I got the job. Oh my god. I actually got it.”
“I told you. I told you someone would see how amazing you are.”
“I need to respond. Tell them yes. Before they change their mind.”
“They’re not going to change their mind.”
But Elias was already typing. Fingers flying across his phone. Sending a response before Alex could even read it over his shoulder.
“Done. I said yes. I’m employed. Holy shit, I’m employed.”
He stood up. Paced. Ran his hands through his hair. Laughed again.
“I need to call my sister. And Hartley. And oh god, I need to give notice at the TA office.”
“Elias. Breathe.”
“I’m breathing. I’m great. This is great.” He stopped pacing. Looked at Alex with something like wonder. “I’m staying. I have a job. I’m really staying.”
“You are.”
“And we’re going to be okay.”
“We are.”
Elias pulled him up from the couch. Kissed him hard and deep and full of promise.
“Thank you,” Elias said against his mouth.
“For what?”
“For believing in me. For being patient this weekend. For making me leave my apartment today.”
“That’s what love is.”
“I know. But still. Thank you.”
They celebrated properly. Not with going out or making noise. Just being together. Touching and kissing and holding each other like they’d been given a future instead of just hope.
Later, in bed, Alex’s head on Elias’s chest, listening to his heartbeat slow down from earlier excitement, he felt something settle in his chest.
This was real. Elias had a job. They had time. The summer together. Maybe more.
“What are you thinking?” Elias asked.
“That I’m happy. Really, completely happy.”
“Me too.”
“And a little scared.”
“Of what?”
“That something will go wrong. That this is too good to last.”
Elias’s arms tightened around him. “Nothing’s going to go wrong. We made it through the hard part.”
Alex wanted to believe that. Wanted to think that getting the job meant everything else would be easy.
But a small voice in the back of his head whispered that they still had six weeks until graduation. Six weeks until Elias’s TA position ended. Six weeks until the real test began.
Living together. Being together. Building a life that wasn’t borrowed time between classes and deadlines.
“I love you,” Alex said.
“I love you too. Now sleep. Tomorrow I have a million things to do.”
Alex closed his eyes. Let himself feel the happiness without the fear for just one night.
Tomorrow would bring new challenges. But tonight, they had this.
And maybe that was enough.