Chapter 32 TOGETHER, IN DAYLIGHT
Alex
Morning light filtered through Elias’s apartment window, turning everything gold and soft.
Alex woke up slowly. His body was sore in new places. Good score. The kind that reminded him of hands and mouths and whispered words in the dark.
Elias was already awake. Watching him with those grey-blue eyes that had memorized every inch of Alex last night.
“Hi,” Elias said.
“Hi.”
“How do you feel?”
Alex took stock. His head was on Elias’s chest. Their legs tangled together under the sheets. Elias’s apartment smelled like sex and coffee and safety.
“Good. Really good.” Alex traced patterns on Elias’s skin. “You?”
“Perfect. Better than perfect.” Elias’s fingers ran through his hair. “Any regrets?”
“No. You?”
“Not even one.”
They lay there in comfortable silence. Outside, the campus was waking up. Students heading to Sunday brunch. Cars starting. Normal weekend sounds.
But nothing felt normal. Everything had changed.
“I made coffee,” Elias said. “Before you woke up. It’s probably cold now.”
“I don’t care about coffee.”
“No?”
“No. I care about this.” Alex pressed closer. “Can we just stay here all day?”
“I wish. But I have to finish grading papers. And you have that essay due tomorrow.”
Reality crept back in. Classes. Responsibilities. The fact that they were still student and TAs even if Elias had turned down the program.
“What happens now?” Alex asked. “With us. With people knowing.”
“What do you mean?”
“You stayed. You turned down the program for me. People are going to talk more than they already are.”
Elias shifted so they were face-to-face. “Let them talk. I meant what I said last night. I’m done hiding.”
“Even if it affects your job search? Your references?”
“Even then.” Elias kissed his forehead. “I can’t control what people think. I can only control what I do. And what I want to do is be with you. Openly. Honestly.”
Alex’s chest felt too full. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Now come on. Let’s have cold coffee and figure out what normal looks like.”
Normal turned out to be surprisingly easy.
They showered together. Not sexual, just comfortable. Sharing space and soap and casual touches. Elias made toast while Alex sat on the counter watching. They ate standing up, stealing kisses between bites.
“This is domestic,” Alex said.
“Is that bad?”
“No. It’s nice. I like it.”
“Good. Because I want a lot more of this.”
After breakfast, Alex had to go back to his dorm. Change clothes. Get his laptop. Pretend to the world that last night hadn’t completely changed his life.
Des took one look at him and grinned.
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“You had sex.”
Alex’s face went nuclear. “I did not.”
“You absolutely did. Look at your neck.” Des grabbed his phone and turned on the camera. “Here. Look.”
Three hickeys. Small but visible. Right where his collar would barely cover them.
“Oh god.” Alex pulled his hoodie up. “Everyone’s going to know.”
“So? You’re adults. You’re dating. People have sex.”
“Not me. I don’t have sex. I’m invisible remember?”
“Not anymore.” Des flopped onto his bed. “So. Was it good?”
“I’m not talking about this.”
“That good, huh?”
Alex threw a pillow at him. But he was smiling. Couldn’t stop smiling.
His phone buzzed.
Elias: Miss you already
Alex: You saw me twenty minutes ago
Elias: Twenty minutes too long
Alex: You’re being cheesy
Elias: You love it
And Alex did. Loved the texts and the hickeys and the soreness and all of it.
Sana: Des told me. Congratulations.
Sana: Also we need to talk about the fact that Elias STAYED
Sana: That’s huge Alex
Alex: I know
Sana: Are you freaking out?
Alex: A little
Sana: Good. That means you care. Come to the library later. Let’s study.
Studying with Sana meant actually studying, unlike with Des who got distracted every five minutes. Alex grabbed his books and headed to campus.
The library was crowded. Sunday before a big assignment week. Alex found Sana on the second floor, surrounded by chemistry textbooks.
“Sit,” she said. “Tell me everything.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“He stayed, Alex. He turned down grad school for you. That’s nothing.”
“I know. I’m terrified.”
“Of what?”
“That I’m not worth it. That he’ll regret it. That this whole thing is going to blow up and hurt both of us.”
Sana closed her textbook. “Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Does he love you?”
“He says he does.”
“Then trust that. Trust him. And stop waiting for it to fall apart.”
Alex wanted to. Wanted to believe this could work. But fear was louder than hope.
They studied for two hours. Or Sana studied while Alex stared at the same page and thought about Elias’s hands and the way he’d said “I love you” like a promise.
His phone buzzed.
Elias: What are you doing tonight?
Alex: Homework probably. Why?
Elias: Come over. Bring your laptop. We’ll work together.
Alex: Is that code for not working?
Elias: Maybe a little. But also I actually have to grade papers and you actually have that essay.
Alex: Okay. What time?
Elias: 7?
Alex: See you then
Sana was watching him with knowing eyes. “You’re glowing.”
“I am not.”
“You absolutely are. It’s disgusting. I love it.”
At seven, Alex showed up at Elias’s apartment with his laptop and an overnight bag he tried to be casual about.
Elias answered the door in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Hair damp from the shower. Glasses on instead of contacts.
“Hi,” Elias said.
“Hi.”
They stood there grinning at each other like love birds.
“Are we going to do this every time?” Alex asked.
“Do what?”
“Act like we haven’t seen each other in years when it’s been a few hours.”
“Probably. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. It’s perfect.”
They set up at Elias’s desk. Laptops side by side. Papers spread out. The picture of academic productivity.
It lasted about twenty minutes.
Elias kept getting distracted. Touching Alex’s hand. Playing with his hair. Kissing his neck right where the hickeys were.
“You’re not helping,” Alex said. But he was leaning into it.
“Sorry. I’ll stop.”
“I didn’t say stop.”
Elias grinned. Kissed him properly. Long and slow and perfect.
They eventually got back to work. Sort of. Between paragraphs and graded papers, they talked. About classes and books and plans.
“I have interviews next week,” Elias said. “For jobs. Local positions. Nothing glamorous but it’s something.”
“Where?”
“Publishing house downtown. High school teaching position. Library science job at the public library.”
“Those all sound good.”
“They’re backups. Plan B. Not what I thought I’d be doing.”
“Are you okay with that?”
Elias looked at him. Really looked. “Yeah. I am. Because plan A was leaving and being alone. This is better.”
At midnight, they gave up on working. Went to bed properly this time. No rush. Just touching and kissing and being together.
After, Alex lay in Elias’s arms and thought about permanence. About building something real instead of just hoping.
“What are you thinking?” Elias asked.
“That I want this. All of it. The boring parts and the good parts and everything in between.”
“Me too.”
“Even when it’s hard?”
“Especially then.”
Alex believed him. Finally, completely believed him.
“I love you,” Alex whispered.
“I love you too. Now sleep. We have class tomorrow.”
“You mean you have grading and I have class.”
“Same thing.”
They fell asleep wrapped around each other. Safe, warm and sure.
But morning would bring new challenges. Being out. Being together. Being visible.
And Monday morning meant facing campus knowing everyone would see them differently now.
Together instead of separate.
Real instead of just watching.