Chapter Thirty Two-1

"I'm leaving," Jesse repeated, after not receiving any sort of response. Although, the shocked looks on the face of both his brother and his best friend gave a pretty good gauge on what they were feeling. Everett's jaw unhinged, shaking his head as he tried to take that in. "You're . . .leaving?" He leaned forward, his arm gently moving Lizzie from her spot. To be fair, it didn't look like she would be sitting there much longer anyways. Her body already made an adjustment to a more formal position, one where she could really talk to Jesse. "Yeah. I figure I'll go ahead and sort of just, take off, you know?" Jesse explained weakly, shrugging his shoulders. "Jesse, have you really thought this through?" Lizzie asked gently, one hand resting on Jesse's shoulder. The last thing she wanted to do was deflate him, but at the same time, Lizzie wanted to make sure Jesse really know what he wanted to do here. She wanted to make sure he made the necessary arrangements and some sort of plan to follow through on. This decision Jesse made shouldn't be taken lightly; this was serious business. Jesse nodded, albeit a bit stiffly.  "Yes, I've really thought about this and I think it's for the best." Upon seeing the look on her face, he softened. The crease in her brow told him just how concerned for him she was. "Look," he said, voice milder than previously. "I've been saving for this anyways. I didn't think it would happen so soon, but, hey. I've had a job for a while and I've been saving my paychecks back. I have enough to last me a while and I'll just pick up odd jobs here and there to keep me going." Jesse smiled a little, the first real emotion he showed so far in the conversation. "I don't need a five star experience. I just need . . . the experience." Lizzie looked down at her feet, feeling a weight in her chest. From the day she moved, Jesse became a constant in her life. Everyday, she managed some sort of interaction with him. And now, now he would be leaving. Who knew how often he would be able to stop and chat? What if something happened to him while he traveled? With a shake of her head, Lizzie forced those thoughts from her mind. This wasn't about her. This was about Jesse finding his own way in life. And with that, she replied, "I think you can do it, Jesse." Then, she tacked on, "You aren't going to just leave without saying goodbye to your family, are you?" Jesse rapidly shook his head. "Of course not! I'm not happy with their reaction, but I'm not heartless, you know." The three lapsed into silence. A moment of thought and reminiscing. "Where do you want to go first?" Everett finally asked, slow and tentative, as though any sudden questions would make Jesse detonate. Jesse looked at his brother, a slow smile tugging the corner of his lips. "I'm not entirely certain," he admitted. "I'm kind of nervous, to be honest." Lizzie nodded, saying, "Well, I bet you are. This is probably the biggest adventure you will ever go on." With a huff, Jesse laid back on the coffee table. His hands pressed into his eyes and he groaned. "Am I making a huge mistake?" Silence greeted him as a response, leaving him to wonder what he should be doing in this situation. "I'll take that as a yes?" Lizzie sighed, leaning back once more. "Jesse, I don't know if we can tell you, if I can tell you, if what you're doing is wrong. Maybe it is. Maybe it's just the way you're going about it. Bottom line is, I'm not going to make the decision for you. Would I take off like this? No. But I'm also a chicken, so . . ." Jesse smiled at her. "You're far from chicken, Lizzie." With that, Jesse patted his knees and stood with a grunt. Stepping around the coffee table, he called over his shoulder, "I'll let you guys get back to cuddling." As he walked up the stairs and out of view, Lizzie sighed, causing Everett to rub her arm. "You okay?" She nodded, saying, "Yeah. Just worried is all." And she was so worried. The very last thing she wanted was Jesse to make a huge mistake with the family he loved so much. She could only trust that he knew what he was doing. Curing herself up on the couch, Lizzie hit the play button on their movie and let it roll, hoping that everything would work itself out. Fingers crossed. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "I'm worried, Peter," Denise sighed out, holding her head up on the palm of her hand. The two were on one of their rare nights out, a night they needed to remove themselves from the tense air in their home. "Jesse is a strong willed young man. Maybe we shouldn't be so . . . set. Are we being too . . . I don't know, something?" Peter looked over the table at his wife, who looked exhausted and stressed to the max. He wished he knew exactly what to say to help ease her mind. But his own thoughts were a jumbled mess as well. How could he give her any piece of mind when his own resembled a chaos ridden world? "I feel like we're losing our kids, Peter." Shaking his head, Peter stretched his hand out across the table, taking hers and squeezing gently. "We aren't losing them, Denise. It's okay. This is just one more hurdle of a million that we have to take." He chuckled. "And this isn't even the last of them. We get to go through the same thing with Cole when he gets old enough." Denise wilted a little when he said that and Peter mentally smacked himself. Talking about her youngest leaving the nest probably wouldn't do too much good at the moment. Instead of saying anything else, Peter just held his wife's hand, trying to figure out what exactly they could do in this situation. Should they let Jesse follow through on his hair brained idea? Where exactly did they draw the line between a guiding parent and a guarding parent? Peter just didn't know the answer anymore. "Maybe we need to trust him more," he finally murmured.  Denise's facial features drew up into a protest, the words ready on her lips, but Peter beat her to the punch. "I'm not saying it's a brilliant idea, okay? I'm seriously trying to figure out why Jesse wants this so much, but . . . it is what he wants. The least we could do is try to be a little supportive. I may feel disappointed by his choice, but it would be even worse if he was disappointed with our reaction." The two finished their meal in relative silence, a lot weighing on their minds as parents. But even talking about it in hushed whispers over dinner and in concerned tones on the drive home didn't change how shocked they were when Jesse dropped another bomb on them when they got home.