{21}

: (Olivia's POV) He kissed me. Oh shit, holy shit. And I kissed him back. Oh shit, holy shit. I pulled away after a while and stumbled back, catching myself. "Look, I just um, can you please like, not kiss me?" I chuckled lightly. I think logically, that's what I'm trying to do. "What uh, what do you mean?" he asked. "I mean can you please not kiss me again?" I asked, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear while standing up. "How uh, how are we supposed to be dating and not kiss?" he chuckled. "By… not kissing," I retorted. "What are you going on about? If we're dating, I have to kiss you, Olivia. Especially when Annabelle or Justin are watching," he explained. "They weren't watching right now. And just for the record, they say they're together yet we've almost never seen them kiss. Does that mean they're lying too? No, it doesn't. Kissing has nothing to do with dating," I shook my head. "Kissing has everything to do with dating, Olivia. It'll be more convincing," he shrugged. Is that all this is about? "I'm done trying to convince him then. I'd rather just drop the act at this point," I scoffed. "Why are you acting like this? I thought we don't freak out over kisses anymore," he sighed. I huffed, "Look, I don't kiss people I don't like, okay? And I don't not like the people that I kiss," I said, trying not to admit that I like him. He looked at me, slightly confused. "So… if you keep kissing me, you'll like me?" he asked. I groaned, "I don't want to like you. You're not good for me, you know. We're too competitive," I reasoned. He frowned, "I don't get why that's a problem, it just makes things a little fun. Why are you taking this so seriously?" he questioned. "Because it's getting serious, Ethan. Stop playing around for a minute and listen to me. I can't… I can't act like your girlfriend all the freaking time without feeling anything, okay? I can't do it anymore. I was better off hating you, at least I wasn't confused then. I hated you and that was it," I snapped. I saw hurt flash in his eyes for a split second but he concealed it. "So, now what are you confused about?" he asked. "Everything," I scoffed. "Let me clear it up for you then. Just answer my question, do you like me?" he asked. "No," I huffed. "Do you not like me?" he questioned. "No," I groaned, digging my nails into my skin with my fist closed. "Why won't you just admit you like me? You're not very good at hiding your emotions from me anyway and I already know you do, why won't you just say it?" he asked, moving closer to me where I stood against the wall. "Because it's hard for me to believe that what we're doing is real. I can't tell what's real and what's fake between us anymore. It feels the same when it's fake, Ethan. All the freaking time, it feels real," I rambled on, my eyes widening when I realized what I said. Fan-fucking-tastic, Olive. Stop calling yourself that. "Then maybe it is real. Maybe you like me," he shrugged. "And maybe you don't like me back. So maybe the logical thing to do would be to put an end to this," I said while grabbing my keys from his nightstand. "Your idea is stupid. Just say it!" he exclaimed. "I can't! It's not that easy. Do you ever hear what comes out of your mouth or is it instinctive for your brain to shut down when you talk?" I rolled my eyes at him. "My only instinct right now is to kiss you senseless so you admit you like me." I stared at him in utter shock. How does he just say things like that? And then expect me not to crack. "I'm not going to say it. You need to tell me how you feel first," I sighed. I'm being unfair to him. "I'll say it," he shrugged, taking another step closer to me. "I can't make you say it, I can't force you. That's…" I shook my head, getting ready to leave. This can't go on. "I like you, okay? Now please, shut up." "You-" "I said shut up," he huffed, grabbing my wrist. "Ethan, please don't," I mumbled. He climbed back and kneeled on the bed, looking at me. "Please stop talking," he whispered. "But I-" He yanked me forward and his arm went around my waist while the other grabbed the back of my neck and his lips crashed into mine. He pulled away to look at me and dare I say it, he looked worried. "I like you, get it? For real," he stated. "For real?" I asked. "Yes," he nodded. I eyed him for a minute, not sure what to believe. "I'm not just faking it for Justin or Annabella to see anymore. I haven't for a minute. I actually really like you, Olivia," he explained, "I mean it. I promise," he whispered. "You…" I don't even know what to say. "How did you end up liking me?" I asked. "I think it started when you made me your fake boyfriend," he chuckled. I smiled, rolling my eyes, "You're such an idiot," I laughed. He smiled before inhaling and asking, "So? What do you say?" I shrugged, "I say I like you too," I mumbled, "I think." "Don't do that," he huffed, "Do you or…?" he trailed off questioningly. "I don't know," I lied, shaking my head. He pulled back and eyed me with a scrutinizing gaze, narrowing his eyes. "Liar," he whispered. I tried not to smile but I was grinning from ear to ear. "You scared me, don't do that," he chuckled, pulling me closer. "You scared me. I didn't think you'd like me," I smiled. "I didn't think there was any way I was getting through the night without telling you that I did," he chuckled. "So, you like me like… really like me?" I asked. "Yeah," he nodded, "Like… I really like you." "Since when?" I questioned. "I think it's been a few days. At first, I thought I could just ignore it till it goes away but… I guess feelings don't work that way," he shrugged. "I guess they don't," I replied. "You tried that too, huh?" I nodded sheepishly. "Didn't work?" he inquired. "No," I mumbled, shaking my head. "It was just getting too complicated in my head because all the time, we were acting like a couple and not just a couple, we were acting like friends too. And lately, I couldn't decipher what was real and what was for show." "I think most of what we've been doing has been real," he said. "I think so too," I agreed, "But how did we get to where we are? I mean," I chuckled, "Last I checked, we 'hated' each other," I said, putting air quotes around the word. "Last I checked, we were both liars," he retorted. I stared at him, noticing the way he relaxed. Seeing him now, I realized that he was stiff this whole time. His shoulders were tense, he seemed anxious, whereas now it looked like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. "Were you nervous?" I asked, smiling softly. "No," he scoffed. "You were, weren't you?" I asked knowingly. He stared at me for a minute, letting out a sigh in defeat. "A little." I laughed, leaning against the wall. "I think it's cute," I shrugged. "I think you're cute," he smirked, grabbing my hands and pulling me forward. We studied each other in silence for a moment. "What now?" I asked. He sighed, getting off the bed and standing in front of me at his full height, meaning I had to crane my neck up to look. "Now, no more faking, okay?" he asked. "But we're nowhere near where everyone thinks we are in our relationship," I stated. "That doesn't matter. We act the way we want to and if anyone asks, it's none of their business. We're together, just not putting a title on it, right?" He raised his brows at me. "Right," I said slowly. "Don't sweat it. I know it feels like all eyes are on us, but they're not. Maybe we just have to be a little careful around Annabelle and Justin," he shrugged a shoulder. "I think you're right," I nodded. "I think I'm always right," he smirked. "I think you're getting cocky," I scoffed. "I think you don't care," he said while leaning in. I laughed, taking one step back and hitting the wall while he towered over me. "I don't think self-control is something I understand," he chuckled. "I don't think it is," I laughed, "But I don't mind," I shrugged. He smirked before he began leaning in slowly only for us to get startled by the sound of the front door opening and then closing. I looked at him before he went outside and saw who it was. "My parents are home," he sighed. "That's fine, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I chuckled, grabbing my phone and keys. "Why are you leaving? Stay," he said, grabbing my hand. "I can't stay," I mumbled, "What if your parents come see us?" "Then all they'll see is their son and his girlfriend. Stay," he repeated, pulling me against him. "I…" "Just stay," he whispered, "Please?" . . . . . Chapter 21