Chapter 73 I Miss Nadia 1
NADIA
The days following Dean's departure from my life were monotonous and mechanical.
I would wake up, go to work, visit Frank in the hospital, then go back home and stay awake most of the night.
My weekends consisted of masturbating while watching porn and listening to every depressing song imaginable.
I hadn't had decent sex in a month, and my body felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment.
I wasn't eating properly, and as far as I remember, on my last visit to the scale I had lost three kilos.
Maybe it's all in my head, but one part of my body craved Dean's touch, and the other wanted him as far away as possible.
Despite my supposed decline, I was fine, yes, I had to be fine.
After all, it was because of Dean entering my life that I found myself in this situation.
He changed me, used me, or rather, he hurt me, even if more mentally than physically.
I no longer felt like myself, and that had to change.
I needed someone to make me happy, someone who could revive the old Nadia within me, with all her determination and self-esteem.
Frank smiled as I entered his hospital room.
Hello, light. — He said, calling me by the nickname he gave me.
"Hi Frank," I replied, smiling awkwardly.
He was visibly better, his injuries were almost all healed, and he looked great.
The purple mark on his left eye had disappeared, his nose had been put back in place and now had a small cut on the top, his ribs were almost all healed, and most of the bruises had vanished.
Now he looked stunning, with his beautiful blond hair reaching his shoulders, his bright green eyes, and that incredibly beautiful smile.
He was such a nice guy, and during the month I spent visiting him in the hospital, I noticed that his company made me feel really good.
"I have some great news for you," I said, approaching him with a huge smile.
"Then tell me," he said, curious.
"Your discharge has been rescheduled for today," I replied, receiving the biggest and most beautiful smile Frank could give me.
I liked him; it wasn't a strong feeling, but it was something.
"What time can I finally leave here?" he asked anxiously.
"Now," I replied, noticing his smile widen.
"I came to get you."
Woohoo! — Frank exclaimed, throwing the sheets on the floor and then jumping on my neck.
"Thank you for everything, my light," he whispered, hugging me tenderly.
I didn't feel attraction, much less excitement, at that moment, but I felt loved.
Yes, Frank had treated me like I had never been treated by any other man.
"You're welcome," I replied, stepping back, and saw Frank staring at me with those bright green eyes.
"I like you very much, Nadia," he said seriously, and I felt an involuntary shiver run through my body.
I was speechless for a moment, but after my brain processed his confession, my mouth moved automatically.
"I like you too," I replied, noticing Frank let out a discreet sigh of relief.
"So, then..." he said, a little shyly.
"Do you want to go out with me?" He looked away from me and blushed.
"How could I refuse such a sweet request?" I asked, closing the small space that separated us.
"Of course I do."
And so Frank looked into my eyes, smiling, and after cupping my face in both hands, he kissed my lips with immense tenderness.
And it was at that moment that I knew Frank would be the right person to make my sin disappear, and it would disappear my desire to throw myself into the arms of the guy who caused my downfall.
" Dean Hartford..."
DEAN
Let's just say this month was the worst of my life, or rather, the most humiliating.
I was in a deplorable state, in sexual misery, I saw long black hair and sweet green eyes every time I closed mine.
Yes, Nadia was present every single moment of these last few days.
I couldn't have sex with any woman without closing my eyes and imagining Nadia in my arms, with that sensual body and that daring mouth.
Sometimes I would find myself shouting her name while I cum inside a stranger, or sometimes I would masturbate remembering the few moments I spent inside her.
Whiskey became my water, and cigarettes my air.
I lived sprawled out in the corners of my apartment, screaming and breaking things simply because I had let her go.
The only woman I ever truly wanted in my arms, the only one who satisfied me like no other, the only one I regretted abandoning.
The only woman I've ever felt something more than just simple attraction for...
In this personal hell I found myself in, sprawled on the sofa with my fifth glass of whiskey in hand, an ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts, and a damned tightness in my chest, I found myself screaming.
What do I feel for that damn woman?! — I threw the glass of whiskey against the wall and heard my subconscious whisper just once.
"Passion."
My eyes widened, thinking I was hallucinating, but the word echoed in my head like a muffled sound.
"Passion... Passion... Passion..."
And at that moment I felt like the most wretched man in the world, for having finally fallen in love and for having treated the woman I fell in love with like trash.
I got up, shaken by this revelation, and went to the bathroom, ready to take a cold shower and clear my head.
I turned on the shower and stepped into the shower stall, clothes and all, letting the cold water soak my suit and wash away my sadness.
Yes, I was sad and regretful...
For the first time in my life, I cared about someone other than myself, and that's why I won't give up on her.
I turned off the shower and left the bathroom feeling the weight of my clothes on my body, but that didn't discourage me from continuing to walk.
I went into my room, walked to my bed, and let myself fall with all my weight onto the soft mattress.
Tonight I would fall asleep once again thinking of her, of her body, her voice, her gaze, and her scent...
And tomorrow I will get up ready to run after her and tell her everything I feel for her.
All this misfortune will go away, and I will finally be able to hold her in my arms again.
I closed my eyes, slowly surrendering to the unknown sleep, and asking God for the first time that it might not be too late...
"She is my only salvation...