Chapter 55 - Lost II - The Royal Hybrid

Tatiana’s POV

Despite going to bed early the day before, I looked like I had gotten no sleep at all. The bags under my eyes were prominent and only getting darker as the days went by.

I had managed to make it a little better with a nice hot shower and some coffee just to spike my energy level, but I knew that the only real remedy for this would be a good nice long night of sleep. Something I highly doubted that I would get any time soon.

The black dress hung nicely next to the closet in the corner. The shoes to match had been polished and placed right underneath. It was impossible not to see it, to notice it. It was impossible to ignore and so, also impossible to forget what was about to happen no matter how much I wanted to. Despite all of that we also had the whole Killian thing we needed to take care of. So far Chad wasn’t speaking, and I, after my last little break down was not allowed to come anywhere near him which I didn’t blame anyone. Had it been up to me I wouldn’t have allowed myself in a room with him either.

No matter how much I tried to blame it on my wolf, I knew that it probably only acted like that because of the feeling towards him I have kept locked away. He, after all, was one of the people who had caused me so much pain in the past.

Zaya had explained to me, that it hadn’t been Rama causing the trouble seeing as I didn’t have her at that time. The one who did all the bidding was Amara who had, thanks to my many feelings and emotions getting loose, been overpowered by the magic running through my veins and so she snapped because I did.

A small knock on my door made me snap out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?”

My mom peeked inside, barely opening the door.

“I just wanted to check on you,” she said offering me a small smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes in any way.

She looked so tired. It was easy to see that she had lost weight and the already dark bags that were under her eyes yesterday were even more prominent and dark today and yet she still managed to stand. She still managed to check up on everybody else.

I admired her for that, I really did, but I also thought it was one of her biggest flaws. The not knowing when to ask for help or when to take care of herself and I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had had the time to even check up on her.

I knew dad was circling around her whenever he could, but I also knew that he had a lot of stuff to deal with on his own. I was happy that they dealt with what was going on. Not only did they deal with it together, but also alone which I for one think is what is important to be allowed to do. Whereas dad would go hunting or training the pups, mom would go out to the gardens and enjoy the life the flowers would bring.

I had overheard a lot about how to react when losing a child, a lot of the chatter from the pack villagers at the moment was about that and all of them seemed to have different concerns. Some were concerned that mom and dad’s relationship wouldn’t last after the death of their son, that it would end up breaking even the unbreakable bond they had while some were concerned that my mom would be the only one who would end up breaking, maybe even going to extreme measures to see her son again.

Truth be told, they didn’t know that I was there to hear, but as rough as it was, I also knew that for one, my mom would never do such a thing. Not when she cared so much about everyone around her and me and dad. And secondly, they would last. If there was anything they could do, that was it, no matter what they went through because as far as I knew, they’d already been through hell and back.

“If you are checking in on me, then who is checking in on you?” I asked with my right brow lifted and watched as her already tense body stiffened.

“You are too observant for your own good,” she sighed. “I am the adult here you know.”

“Yeah, but you are also a mom, and today…” I trailed off. “You look beautiful,” I said trying to divert the conversation.

“Thank you,” she smiled vaguely. “You aren’t dressed yet?”

“No, I wanted to sit here and just breathe while I could I suppose,” I sighed and stared into the mirror. “Also, my dress is with lace so I was waiting for either Hayden or Gabriel to come and tie it in the back since I can’t reach myself.”

“I can do it for you?” she more asked than stated. “Since I didn’t get to tie your shoes when you were little, the least I can do is tie your dress, right?”

She sounded nervous, and to be completely honest, I felt very nervous. Despite being here for some time now, the only two people I had had some trouble bonding with, were my parents. I didn’t know if it was because I secretly held some sort of grudge against them or if it was simply because I had been too busy, but whatever the reason was, it kept me at a distance from them and a distance I would like to go away.

“Sure,” I said offering her a smile to ease her a bit. “I’ll just go put it on.”

Before she could say anything, I scooted the chair out, got up, and took the dress with me to the bathroom.

It was a beautiful black dress, something I wasn’t exactly used to be wearing but something I knew that I had to get familiar with as time would go by. It had long sleeves and a small V-neck and from the shoulders and down to my waist the lace was hanging gracefully, ready to be tied in to saturate my waist.

“I’m ready!” I called out.

Mom came walking through the doors with her heels in her hand. I guess she grew tired of wearing them inside.

“You look beautiful,” she cooed as she began stretching and pulling the bands.

“I don’t think I have ever worn something this pretty,” I smiled. “I just wish it was for a different occasion.”

Mom hesitated a bit before she answered me. Her lips were in a thin line, her brows furrowed so they met in the middle, and it was clear to see that she was thinking of how to say whatever it was that she wanted to say.

“Just come out with it before that vein in your neck bursts,” I chuckled.

“Huh?” she said surprised.

“I can see that you are thinking about something. Out with it!”

“No, it can wait I suppose. Now is not really the perfect time to be talking about this,” she muttered.

“Maybe now is the perfect time?” I asked. “Maybe it will be good to have some other conversation before we have to go out with our brave masks on and face everyone.”

“It is just… I was thinking that the next time you will wear this, is at your mating ceremony,” she shrugged. “No big deal.”

“Mating ceremony?” I nearly choked out. “What ceremony?”

“Here we have a ceremony where you state to the pack that you will take your mate, in your case, mates, and that they will take you as well. Seeing as you are Royal and the only living heir, you are the one who will take over in my place when you get a bit older and are ready and both Hayden and Gabriel will become alphas and take over for your dad.”

“How will that work?” I asked not really bothered by the rest of what she said. “The two alpha thing I mean,” I clarified when she gave me a look of confusion.

“I honestly don’t know, but I’m sure everything will be fine. Besides, on the bright side, it simply means more protection for the pack,” she shrugged. “I see no reason why the pack won’t accept it.”

“Accept it? What do you mean accept it?” I asked and had to suck in a breath as she tightened the band once again.

“Here we present ourselves and the pack accepts you as their ruler. With Tyson, they were forced into accepting, with me and Shane they were a bit skeptical, but it worked out perfectly and I am sure it will with you as well. Hayden and Gabriel basically grew up here and you are the rightful heir.”

“But I didn’t grow up here? What if they count that as a bad thing and might think I’m not the ruler they need? Not only that, but I also am a woman and I have not one, but two men by my side.”

“Then it is the foolish old men clinging to very old traditions that need to be updated,” she chuckled. “Trust me, honey, you will do just fine, and the pack already loves you. Remember that.”

I tried to smile, even though I suddenly felt extremely worried. What if they didn’t accept me? Or my mates for that matter. Then who would take over?

“There you go,” she said as she tied a nice little bow. “All done and ready. Now, look how beautiful you are.”

Her voice started to waver a bit and when I looked up in the mirror and my eyes met with hers, I saw the silent tears that started running down her cheeks.

“Oh, mom,” I sniffled as I turned around and put my arms around her, pulling her in for a tight hug that she clearly didn’t expect.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I am too,” I mumbled, trying to keep my tears in place.

“I just miss him so much,” she cried.

“We all do, mom,” I said and tried to keep my voice steady, but failed miserably as it broke. “We all do.”

I couldn't contain myself when I felt her body beginning to shake under my arms and my tears just started to flow down my cheeks. I knew why she started to cry now. I knew why this was so particularly hard for her and probably for dad as well.

After all, Lucas and I were twins. Yes, we had our different personalities that on occasions still were so very similar, but our looks... Looking into my eyes was like looking into his and I knew that when people had eye contact with me these days, that is what they saw. Or more, that was who they saw. They saw him.

That was also the only thing giving me just a little comfort. The fact that even though I might not be able to be around him or hear his voice anymore, I would still be able to see him because I would see him and be reminded of him every day when I would look into a mirror. That was my comfort even though it to some degree might also end up being a curse.