Chapter 14
Ziya
No fucking idea what to do in a situation like this, I’d decided to keep him cool with wet cloths I’d displayed all over his body. Further, I tried to let him drink enough to keep him hydrated, and I held his hand while talking to him. I didn’t know if he heard me or not.
I’ve never been this scared in my life. I was so scared that it made me literally sick to my stomach. Max hadn’t been the only one who repeatedly had thrown up, so my own dehydration was something I should keep an eye on as well. Apart from the puking, I’d also forgotten to drink enough, because I was so busy with Max.
I promised all kinds of things to God, Allah, Yahweh, Krishna, Buddha and all other gods. I would give everything if they could keep him safe in return. Non-stop praying was the only thing I could do. I had no tears left to cry anymore, as they had already spilled too much. My eyes even hurt because of it, all dry and puffy. My fingers were in pain too; I had bitten my nails and cuticles until my tips had started to bleed.
And this useless feeling drove me crazy. I wished I knew something more to help him with.
~
In the late afternoon, the clouds had turned to dark grey and let their first droplets fall. It soon was raining so fucking hard that the rainwater had found its way into the cave. As if things weren’t bad enough already, I had yet to face another challenge: making sure the water wouldn’t come streaming further inside. It was ice cold now the temperature had cooled down, and I didn’t want Max to get sicker. A cool soaked cloth against his feverish skin was something else than buckets of icy cold water.
My hands and whole body shivered as I’d started emptying the suitcases, building dikes with their contents to keep the water away. I never responded well to the cold, and it was pure torture. All night long I had to wring the water out of the soaked clothes and make new dikes, all the while I also took care of Max.
It lasted for hours and hours and I almost thought of just leaving things—thought of just lying down beside him, letting us die together from that cold horrible water.
But I owed him more. He always kept me safe and I should do the same. Whatever it would take.
When morning came, and the rain stopped, I broke and found myself crying once more. On my knees, I sat beside him, my head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was at my end.
~
I woke up with a startle. I didn’t know how long I’d slept, but it felt like only ten minutes. Max was the first thing on my mind.
His eyes were shut, and his head was turned towards me. His face felt cooler than the last few times I took his temperature, so I quickly sat up and inspected his leg. Relief washed over me when I saw it seemed to do better too! It was less swollen and less red.
“Max?” I asked, my voice only a raspy whisper. I must have gotten a cold last night because apart from my lack of volume, my throat hurt like a bitch. “Max?” I asked again, grabbing his hand into mine and squeezing it.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. Really properly looked at me this time, something he hadn’t done for the past twenty-four hours! “Z-Zi,” he breathed out, barely audible.
“Oh, fuck. You’re awake,” I half cried, half laughed, bringing his hand up to my mouth to kiss his knuckles. “Finally. Thank you, thank you!” I said to him and to all Gods that had heard my prayers.
“Fuck, Zi. I f-feel like shit,” Max said.
“Are you in pain?” I asked with a smile on my face. Not because I wanted him to be in pain, or feel like shit, but because I was just so goddamn relieved.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “My leg still hurts and I feel like a truck or something ran me over.”
“Do you remember what happened?” I asked.
He wiggled his hand out of my grip and placed it against my cheek, caressing me with his thumb as he said: “yeah. A snake bit me in the leg.” I nodded, loving the way his hand felt against my face, pushing my cheek further into his palm. “H-how long was I out of it?” he then asked.
“An entire day.”
“Fuck,” he looked so guilty. “You look like s-shit too.”
“Why thank you,” I answered, letting out a hoarse chuckle.
“I’m sorry for all of this, Zi.”
“It’s not your fault.” I felt my bottom lips tremble again. “I’m sorry,” I said, planting my head back on top of his chest before I cried like a newborn baby, realising that he was still here and he was going to be better. He wouldn’t leave me.
“Shhh,” he said, not having the strength yet to take me into his arms.
I cried for a bit and then sat up. “Can you move everything? Your toes and fingers? Move them,” I ordered, to which he wiggled his toes and fingers. “Okay, that looks good. Thank God. Are you thirsty? You should drink.”
“Yeah. Can you help me?”
“Of course. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time already?”
~
I mashed up a banana and fed Max little bites. He was awake for a few hours now and was doing good. He might even have been able to eat himself, but we both felt happy I was the one doing it. I wanted to pamper him so badly right now.
“I would have died without you,” he said, looking at me all seriously.
“I would have died without you a few times already,” I answered.
“You know what I mean.” He took a bite.
“You’re still here, and that’s what matters. I only wish to forget this as soon as possible.”
“You must have been so scared and sad.”
I pushed another spoonful into his mouth. “It wasn’t a night to end up in my top ten greatest moments of my life, no.”
“I hope another moment here will make it to that list. I know you’ve already stolen a spot on my list.”
I smiled, knowing exactly which moment that was. “That was a pleasant moment,” I replied. “Maybe it has already got a spot in mine.”
“Has it?” he asked curiously.
“I’m not telling. Last bite,” I said and shoved the last piece of banana in his mouth.
“Thank you, Zi.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the top lovingly. I felt my heart palpitating underneath my breast. “Really, you did so great. You were so strong. Thanks.”
It felt as if my other half was back beside me again, and that was also something I had never felt before.
~~~~~~~~~