Chapter 30 A Plea On Deaf Ears
SANCIA
The remaining drive home was filled with silence and trepidation; my heartbeat was deafening the closer we came to our Vegas home, and my stomach was cramped with nerves.
I kept wiping my clammy palms on my sweatpants—the sweatpants Antonio had bought me. Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of him, at the condition he was in while I allowed this monster to shove his tongue down my throat.
I hope I didn't make a mistake by trusting his words. To be honest, it's not like I trust his word; I just chose to hope because, at that point, it's all I got. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize we'd arrived until he said.
“Get out.” My heart takes on a different rhythm as I consider just begging him to let me stay in his car, but my dignity wouldn't allow me to do that.
I believe I didn't do anything wrong. I was desperate, so I did what I thought was best for me.
To say Papa was angry was an understatement; the moment I stepped inside the foyer, I knew I'd made a mistake coming back here.
“Take her out of my sight and lock her up. If anyone let her out of the house they'll face the consequences of my wrath.”
Mari and another one of our maids were instantly on me, dragging me upstairs.
“Papa, please. Listen to me. I don't want to marry this Diavolo, papa!” But Papa didn't even glance at me my pleas fell on deaf ears.
Mama, Isabella, and Sergio watched silently. Their faces filled with anxiety. Lorenzo had stopped to talk to my uncle Romero, who looked at me with disappointment.
Just as I thought, I was locked in my room and left to my vices, without a single word of reproach for what I did from either Mama or Papa, which was worse than if they had both yelled and scolded me.
I lay down on my bed and sobbed long into the night until sleep dragged me into its abyss.
The next day, Mama opened the door, her hands carrying a breakfast tray. I sit up from my lying position, eyes swollen from crying and sleep.
“Eat, Sancia,” she said softly. “Here, your father said to give you this; it's your engagement ring.”
“Mama, do you also think I was wrong?” I whispered so quietly.
“What I know is you did something extremely stupid, all because of a man.”
“I love Antonio Mama, and he loves me. Doesn't that mean anything to you?” She looks at me with pity.
“That's the thing, Sancia. You don't love Antonio, you're just too damn stubborn to understand this.”
I lay back on the bed, ignoring the breakfast even as my stomach grumbled with hunger. She was about to walk out when I glanced at her.
“Is Antonio alive? Tell me, please, Mama,” I pleaded.
“He's alive. You're lucky Lorenzo had surprisingly shown mercy. Antonio was sent back to Italy.” My eyes flutter close at the crushing relief I felt with this news.
“Thank you, Mama.”
“Eat, Sancia, don't starve yourself over a man.” And with that, the door clicked shut. I could hear voices right outside the door. I can't believe that I was a prisoner in my own home.
Tears slid down my cheeks as I thanked God that at least Lorenzo had kept his word. Antonio was saved at the price of a kiss.
My stomach fluttered as I recalled that savage kiss. I shook my head and dislodged that thought, wiping my lips as though Lorenzo had just kissed me.
Though Mama had told me Antonio was safe, I wouldn't be completely relieved until I talked to him, and I knew just who to ask for that favor.
My eyes glance at the small box on my bedside table, the diamond glinting so brightly. I picked it up and flung it at the wall.
I'm not going to put that ring on my finger. I could feel it this time. No one was going to sneak into my room and help me. Poor Christina, I hope she's okay.
All our efforts were in vain, but I'm not going to give up. I love Antonio, and I know he's better than this demon I'm being forced to marry in all the ways that matter to me.
Despite being a made man and growing up in this world of violence. He'd only ever killed once, when he became a made man. I remember that day.
Antonio had come to our house with his father on some business I was not privy to. At the time, we weren't engaged; I was too young, barely thirteen.
But I could see how disturbed he was. I had walked to the garden where he was sitting alone and asked him if he was sick. Antonio told me he was fine, but also confided that he had done something terrible.
I asked him what he did. But he wouldn't tell me. I didn't understand what he meant until I heard Papa and Marcello, Antonio's father, talking about his induction, which had taken place earlier that day. I was young, but I know what boys in my world do to become made men.
Antonio is kind, and he loves me to the moon and back. He and I understand each other; we've shared a lot of secrets, including heartfelt conversations and a few stolen kisses when we know we shouldn't, after our engagement.
He was an honorable man, too honorable that he wouldn't do the one thing that could have saved me from this marriage. But then it was because he didn't agree to have sex with me that he's alive today.
Antonio has impeccable manners; he always opens the door for me and pulls out my chair. Carries my shopping bags the rare times I'm allowed to go out with him, and he listens to me.
Not only that, Antonio also considers my opinions and always does what I want. Well, not all the time, but you get the point. He was a complete gentleman.
Antonio's father is one of the underbosses overseeing some of the mafia business on behalf of Capo, my father. His older brother was an enforcer before his death two years ago.
My Antonio is just a soldier, but Papa had promised to make him an underboss in the States so he can oversee the business; his father is Papa’s trusted enforcer back in Italy.
I was so happy when Antonio told me this and asked me to keep it a secret. We had made so many plans, none of which is possible now unless I do something about it.
While I didn't particularly like the idea of being tossed like a ping pong ball from one man to another. I would gladly prefer to get married to Antonio, a mere soldier, than a heartless Capo.
Because with him, I knew I would find happiness and the freedom I longed for all my life.
When I said this, a couple of days later, Mama and Zia Francesca came to check up on me. Papa still hasn't come to see me, and I know he's the one who had warned Isabella away from me, probably thinking I would convince her to help me escape my imprisonment.
My dear mother and Zia Francesca told me I only love Antonio because I can easily manipulate him into doing what I want, while Lucifero won't fall for my manipulations.
Their observation is harsh and not true in the least, in my opinion; what she calls manipulation, I call persuasion, and it only works on Antonio because he loves me, not because he's stupid.
As a woman born into a world of men who try everything to dominate and oppress women, I learned a few tricks to get my way, especially when I know I won't always get what I want by begging or being honest.
Mama and Aunt Francesca always call me manipulative, but that's not true. And I refuse to call it manipulation; it's just me being very convincing at getting what I want.
One thing I would agree with is that Antonio is not a violent man. Instead of a coward, like Sergio likes to call him, I call him good.
Antonio isn't fit for this world at all; he's too kind and gentle for this violent world. And I like that about him.
I would rather marry a good man even if others consider him a coward who is less cruel, not to mention someone I can manipulate...Um, I mean, persuade, then get married to a cold-hearted killer.