Chapter Five

Sarah managed to avoid spending any more private time with Eric for the rest of the day and the following one. By Sunday evening, the effort was taxing her greatly, and she excused herself early, bowing out of dinner with the guests on their final night. She generally anticipated their annual house parties with glee, but she would be happy to have this one over and done with, and Lord Coleville safely back in London.

She went to bed early, exhaustion and the migraine weighing heavily on her and sending her into a deep, dreamless sleep. It was several hours later when she awakened, finding the bedchamber completely dark. A soft sound caught her attention, and she wondered if that had been what had woken her. “Hello? Is that you, Georgette?”

Light appeared a moment later as someone lit the oil lamp. She blinked, relieved to find the pain of her migraine had faded, and the light didn’t hurt her eyes.

Her relief lasted only a second before she realized the identity of the person who had lit the lamp. Her mouth was dry, and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “What are you doing in here, Eric?” It was an unforgivable breach of etiquette to use his first name, but he’d already moved far beyond the bounds of polite society by entering her room.

He was in a state of dishabille, his tailcoat gone, along with his waistcoat. Presumably, his cravat was discarded in the same location as the other trappings of formality. He stood before her in a white shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, dark gray evening pantaloons, and Wellingtons that came to his knees.

She wore nothing but a fine lawn nightgown, and she hugged the blankets to her chest as she sat up. “You must leave at once.”

“I cannot leave. Unless you tell me you don’t want me or this, I must stay. I must persuade you to be my bride, even if I have to act less than honorably to do so.”

“I could scream.” She uttered the words without any true conviction or power.

He surprised her with a small chuckle as he moved closer to the bed. “That would actually please me in a fashion. It would certainly necessitate our engagement and hasty marriage, but I do not wish to humiliate you in such a manner, or to tarnish my own reputation. If you ask me to leave, I will.” He sat down on the bed beside her, reaching for her hand. “But please answer truthfully. Is that what you really want? Do you want me to leave?”

Sarah was tired of being strong and trying to resist what she wanted. She blinked rapidly as moisture filled her eyes, pushing back tears. They were tears of weakness, reminding her why it was wrong to have him there and allow him to stay. “That isn’t what I want. I do not wish for you to leave.”

Saying the words sent a strange sense of peace through her, and she felt lighter. It was as though surrendering to her baser urges had freed her, and her concerns about him being in her room and the improperness of it melted away as Eric moved closer. His fingers trailed up her arm, hesitating at the hem of the sleeve. It was the only place he was touching her, his fingertips barely brushing under the edge, and it seemed as though every nerve ending in her body was suddenly focused and originating from that spot.

It was difficult to breathe, and for a moment she feared she was having an adverse reaction. Her body trembled, and when he reached for her other hand, she surrendered it with a small gasp. As soon as she started to breathe again, she felt much better and of clearer thinking.

The return of clarity surprisingly didn’t bring the urge to follow what she should do. Instead, it only encouraged her to continue down the scandalous path. She might be courting her own ruination, but she was beyond caring.

Eric cupped her cheek, his thumb gently urging her chin to tilt upward as his head lowered. She trembled again as his lips neared hers, pausing while they traded a breath, gazes locked.

“Are you absolutely certain, Sarah? There is no going back after this. You will be mine.”

His breath wafted over her lips as he spoke, still not touching hers. She couldn’t look away from his eyes, and she didn’t want to. “I am certain.”

It was Sarah who closed the distance between them, her lips brushing shyly against his. Eric’s hand moved from her cheek to the back of her head, his fingers burying into the hair that she hadn’t bothered to take down before lying down with her migraine earlier. His lips stroked hers in a soft, gentle caress as his fingers moved deftly through her hair, seeking out the pins holding it in place. In seconds, the curly mass had fallen from its bindings and surrounded them in the perfumed cloud of lavender.

She whimpered softly when the tip of his tongue traced over her lips. He explored the depths of her mouth, moving slowly, but with unwavering confidence that seemed to feed her own. She was soon stroking his tongue with hers, mimicking the motions as he taught her how to kiss. She was tethered to him, but it was a reassuring sensation rather than suffocating.

When he tugged gently on her hair, she allowed him to tip her head back, and another moan escaped her as his lips moved from her mouth and down her chin, before brushing lightly over the column of her throat. That same shivery sensation swept through her again.

The flutters increased, and a languid warmth spread through her when Eric nipped playfully at her neck before he started sucking on the flesh. She pressed closer to him while threading her fingers through his hair, holding him against her. “I had no idea anything could feel this good, Eric.”

His small laugh against her neck sent vibrations spreading outward. “There is so much more than this, and I look forward to showing you everything.”

She trembled with anticipation, and perhaps a touch of fear, at the prospect. The woman who had been her nanny had given Sarah a rudimentary explanation of reproduction after her first menses caught her by surprise, but only in the vaguest terms and least revealing fashion. That meant she had no idea exactly how husband and wife came together—and they certainly weren’t married.

The breath caught in her throat at the idea, a harsh reminder of why she should send him away. She curled her fingers in his hair more firmly, as her other hand moved to his shoulder to lock him against her. She was incapable of doing what would be construed as the right thing when it felt so wrong.

Eric stood up, and her eyes widened as she watched each flick of his fingers moving over the buttons on his fine muslin shirt. He allowed it to fall to the floor with careless abandon when his fingers went to the waistband of his breeches. She held her breath, both terrified and elated at the thought of seeing him completely naked. Just the broad expanse of his lightly haired chest was enough to make her feel like she could swoon at any moment.

After a brief hesitation, his hands moved away from his breeches, and he sat down on the side of the bed to remove his Wellingtons.

Once more, Eric stood up and moved to her, but didn’t sit beside her yet. Instead, his fingers tugged gently at the light material of her nightgown. She was sitting on it, so he made little progress. When he extended a hand, she took it, following his motions as he guided her to her knees so he could pull up the gown and toss it away.

He looked stunned as he stared at her. “You are sheer perfection—and a naughty chit for sleeping without a chemise.”

She blushed. “Normally I wear one, of course. My head ached so terribly that I didn’t have it in me to bother with one tonight.”

His lips twitched. “I assure you I am not complaining. It would have simply been one more layer between you and me, and now I have your full flawlessness at my disposal.”

As he said the words, his gaze moved downward. Sarah reacted instinctively by crossing her arms over her chest and trying to hide as much of her breasts as possible. Despite the instinct prompting that response, she didn’t fight him when he gently grasped her wrists and pulled her arms away to her sides to reveal her body again.

“I do not know what to do.”

He smiled at her confession. “I shall show you. First, lie back.”

She followed his directions, lying on her back with her arms splayed at her sides. She shivered in the slight chill in the air, but quickly forgot about the touch of cold when Eric joined her on the bed, lying atop her but supporting his weight on one of his elbows and forearm. His hand moved over her stomach and caressed lightly before traveling upward. He barely ghosted across her nipple, but it was enough to make her jerk in surprise and writhe against him. “Stop.”

He immediately froze but didn’t pull away from her breast. There was an expression of concern on his face. “Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head, barely able to draw in a deep breath. “It just feels like too much. It has to be wrong.”

He surprised her by laughing. “It isn’t wrong. It is meant to feel good.”

With a deeply indrawn breath, Sarah struggled to relax as his hand curved around her breast once more. When he applied light pressure, her entire body tingled in response. His thumb plucked lightly at the nipple, along with his forefinger, and she twisted underneath him, seeking something without knowing what it was.

She instinctively moaned a protest when his hand moved away from her breast, his palm going flat on the bed near her head as he braced his weight fully and shifted positions to bring his mouth level with her breast. She was certain she must have misunderstood his intentions, at least until his tongue twirled lightly over one of the hard peaks before drawing it gently into his mouth.

When he breathed against her before he started to suck lightly, she screamed in surprise and pleasure, quickly stifling the sound herself by clamping her hands over her mouth. If Georgette heard her and came to check, she doubted she could persuade her lady’s maid not to roust the household and expose the scandal currently taking place in her bedchamber.

His mouth was delicate as he explored first one breast and then the other before returning to her mouth for several long, drugging kisses. She clutched his shoulders as their tongues twisted around each other before sliding together in a way that sent tingles through her.

As Eric kissed her, one of his hands moved between their bodies, and she froze in shock when the first stroke of his fingers against the thatch of curls between her legs made her still. Her eyes were wide, and she pulled away from the kiss to look at his face. “Should you…?”

He nodded, looking confident. “Most assuredly, I should.” As he spoke, Eric stroked her core, fingers slipping inside to trace around the delicate nub she had studiously avoided exploring. After realizing during one or two accidental touches that it made her feel breathless and giddy, she had sensed it was an area she was supposed to avoid. Now, she was happy Eric most assuredly wasn’t avoiding the spot.

When he circled around it, she made a frustrated whimpering sound that had him freezing and looking down at her. “Do you dislike this?”

She nodded before shaking her head. “I do not know. I like how it feels, but it is also frustrating. It feels as though I am waiting for something to happen, but ‘tis taking too long.”

Eric pulled away from her with a chuckle, which only served to enhance her frustration. She glared up at him. “What are you doing?”

“Hastening the process.” He returned to her a moment later, and she let out a startled squeal when his hands went to her knees, pulling her legs apart to reveal the very center of her. She put a hand down to shield herself, but he brushed it away with a careless hand. She should probably try to cover herself again, but she didn’t really want to, so she waited to see what he would do, breath trapped in her throat for inability to release it in her heightened state.

The bed dipped when Eric knelt between her legs, and his intent became obvious seconds before his mouth reached her slit. Unlike when he had introduced his mouth to her breast, she had no hesitation this time. Instead, she arched up to meet him, bridging the distance between them that much sooner.

At the first touch, she was far more sensitive than she had been just from the stroke of his fingers. As a precaution, Sarah turned her head and bit down on her pillow to keep in any loud cries. The muffled sounds of her pleasure filled the bedchamber as he alternated between licking and kissing her, along with an occasional application of suction that sent a jolt through her body each time. The next time he did it, every muscle in her body tightened, and warm heat spread outward as she convulsed around him, thrusting her hips mindlessly against him as the mysterious thing she’d been waiting for was finally revealed to her.

Warm bliss spread through her, and she collapsed against the bed, satisfied but not yet sated. She couldn’t summon the energy to speak or move as Eric stood up, but she wiggled her fingers in a reaching motion. She wasn’t certain if they were done, but she didn’t want him to leave yet.

He didn’t take her hand, but he didn’t look away from her as he finally removed his pantaloons, garters, and stockings. When he returned to her, his large body sprawled across her, pressing her into the mattress, and restricting her view of the organ between his legs. Sarah reached blindly, stretching slightly to reach the length of him. When she wrapped her fingers around him, the fingertips wouldn’t meet. Slowly, she pumped her palm up and down, gauging the length and width of him.

His eyes closed, and he moaned as she touched him, arching his hips in a fashion she was certain was identical to the movement she had adopted when he was pleasing her with his mouth.

As she massaged his shaft, staring into his face, she asked, “Should I taste you?”

He let out a throaty groan, and his eyes opened. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he shook his head. “Another time. At the moment, I just want to be inside you.”

Her eyes widened at the words. “Inside me? Where and how?”

He wrapped his hand around hers, stroking his length more firmly with her hand. “I shall show you. I’m warned it might hurt the first time but feels pleasurable afterward.”

“I still don’t understand what part of you goes where.”

“My cock,” he squeezed his hand around hers and his length for emphasis, “Goes inside you.” With his other hand, two of his fingers slowly pressed against her core, easing inside her with a slight twinge of pain, but mostly pleasure.

She bit her lip, uncertain for a moment. It seemed like an impractical, nay impossible, idea. And yet, she didn’t refuse when he moved positions once more, taking firm possession of his cock after disengaging her hand and bringing it to the spot between her legs. She held her breath, tension making each nerve taut, as the head slipped slowly inside her slick opening. That same twinge accompanied him filling her, and the deeper he went, the more painful it became. When he was fully inside her, tears obscured her vision for a moment, and she sniffled. “I do not like this part.”

“I’m assured it will be better soon.” As he spoke, his fingers sought out that same nub that his tongue had brought such pleasure to, and he began to stroke her again.

Her hips seemed to have a mind of their own, taking over her movements and urging her to thrust against him as his fingers strummed her. She was soon thrusting against him completely, and barely noticed when he started to move in rhythm with her.

The pain had rapidly faded, and as he’d promised, only pleasure remained. With that same maddening sensation building, she knew what she was waiting for now. Perhaps Eric had picked up on her unspoken frustration, because his fingers began to move more quickly around the nub and as his hips thrust faster against her, filling her even more deeply than before.

She was caught in a maelstrom of sensation, unable to focus or think clearly. All she could do was surrender to the sensations washing through her, overwhelming her, and throwing her into release. She clung to him, her only port in the storm, and Eric did the same. He buried his face against her pillow, close to where she still bit down on the mouthful of feathers encased by muslin, and unleashed a guttural groan as his hips stilled inside her, and he stopped moving.

All except for where his body was joined with hers. His cock twitched inside her before something hot and wet filled her. She was too lost in the throes of her own release to ask him what it was, and they both turned their heads toward each other, moving by unspoken agreement. She spat out the mouthful of pillow as he turned his head, and their lips fused.

They remained joined like that for so long that she lost track. Eventually, he softened and pulled away from her, but kept her tucked against his side. She snuggled against him, cheek pressed against his chest, as a wave of tiredness swept over her.

“I shall speak to your father tomorrow about the marriage contract. We can dispense with calling the banns if I obtain a special license. I have every intention of doing so.”

It all felt vague and distant at the moment, and she didn’t argue. They had both acted dishonorably, but it would be even more dishonorable to try to continue with the union with Andrew feeling the way she did about his brother. They lacked her father’s blessing, along with a legal union, but in her heart, she had bound herself to Eric by her actions that evening.

She had a small regret, and that was strictly for Andrew. She doubted it would break his heart, but if word had traveled that he was planning to ask for her hand, only to be usurped by his brother, he was bound to be humiliated and angered. She was remorseful for hurting him or causing him distress, but nothing could make her regret meeting Eric and finding this level of happiness with him.