Chapter 217 TEIGEN XLI
Tears burnt his eyes as he gazed at his hands with so much hate, the same dread he felt that day boring a hollow ache in his chest.
He had forgotten he did not deserve to hold her in his arms, this was just a reminder. A cruel memory carved into his mind. He would die before he ever let himself hurt Elara.
On impulse he found himself punching rapidly against the wall, his knuckles breaking, blood painting the wall. He groans, slumping onto the ground, his bloody hands in his lap.
~
ELARA
His midnight dark mane, soft, ethereal, beautiful and full against my fingers. Brushing through, she smiles, rubbing affectionately against his coat.
"Such a beautiful boy, that's you, yes you are" she gushes, admiring the elegant steed she had found in the stables.
Reluctantly the stable boy had allowed her comb through his coat, no doubt worried I would cause him a scolding. He looked utterly terrified by the idea, taking a handful of time to stare at me like he was not seeing correctly. Another reason for me to ponder how such a magnificent estate had come from the hands of such a man as Lord Sawyer, not a wonder how everyone in the duchy believed him to be a decent man, not knowing what he is capable of.
Did anyone truly know him? Or were they just charmed and transfixed by his deceptive appearance and riches. No doubt everything about him screamed eligible bachelor to all; his success in the March, his properties, his name and handsome mask as he paraded himself around.
There was nothing warm or real about him, it was all pageantry. He always caused my stomach to turn uncomfortably.
Heavy footsteps pulls Elara out of her thoughts, drawing her gaze to Ryker as he walks into the stables, his eyes already ogling her.
"Elara, are you listening?" Winnie draws my attention back.
I glare at Ryker before focusing again, "Sorry, what did you say?"
Ryker slowly buttons his shirt while keeping his eyes on me as he walks away.
And in that moment all embarrassment, heat and excitement evaporate when the words leave Winnie's lips, "Lord Sawyer is here, and he is waiting for you"
Lord Sawyer is here. This was bound to happen, I was not surprised, simply dreading the forced conversation he would force out of me.
'Be nice' Augustine warned me, nice, I could pretend to be nice. I could pretend like the idea of having to recuperate in his estate did not annoy me. I guess I am the one to blame for that, if my powers had not gotten out of control. I hadn't danced in a long time so I was prepared to be weighed down by my powers but not like this.
Augustine tells me I was out for three days. How mortifying, and father had still not come to see me. One week had passed and not even a letter from him. Maybe it was for the best, Augustine must have lessened the effects of my accident. Anyone who heard what happened would be suspicious, especially him. But I had at least looked forward to a letter. Hm, just whistful thinking but it still hurts.
Winnie opens the door to the drawing room for me to walk in. Stepping in, one foot after the other I tried to craft my sweet, innocent smile. The pretense left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"Elara love. I am so glad to see you awake" he stands and walks over to me. I brace myself for him to intrude my space and grimace when he wraps his hands around me in a hug.
I wince, reciting the chant in my head over and over. Be nice be nice, be nice!
"Thank you, for letting me stay here to recuperate"
"Of course, it is my way of apologising" he pulls away, making me sigh in relief at the loss of contact.
He motions me to sit beside him but I ignore, settling on the chair further from.
He gives me a long, curious look, too long. I squirm in my spot, fiddling with a lock of my hair. I had to speak up, the silence was beginning to make me anxious. "How is the March?"
He smiles, "Doing well, but it is not the same without you in it, your presence leaves a hole in my heart love"
Elara bites her lip, feeling uncomfortable by his insinuation. The way he said her name... With such intimacy, normalcy that she did not know what to say. Better to remain silent than address whatever emotions were swimming in his eyes as he watched me.
He finally spoke after realising I was not going to respond, "How do you like it here at the estate, I see you look a lot better now, well rested"
"Oh yes, it is very beautiful. I especially love the horses, they are absolutely gorgeous" she gushes.
Lord Sawyer clears his throat, his words laced with ambiguity, "I do reserve this estate for my honeymoon holiday with my wife, when I do get married" he chuckles, giving her a pointed look.
Elara ignores it, her skin crawling under the lick of his eyes all over her. She had enough, this was her limit, she had to leave before she said anything she would regret later. Augustine had been very clear about her maintaining her etiquette, court manners demanded she be polite no matter what. Lord Sawyer was a high ranking nobleman of the Grand Duke's court, insulting him would be close to killing him in the eyes of the ton.
She would be labeled a noble lady of ill repute, branded as honor less, and if what happened at the tent gets out? It would be a lot worse, an avalanche of disgrace, she could even be driven out of the ton and disowned.
Augustine would never understand her plight, she was after all hired by the Grand Duke to be her governess, so it was expected that she would favor her father over Elara.
In order to keep her promise she would need to find the easiest excuse to leave. The tension in the air from the unspoken encounter hung heavy like a thick blanket, strangling Elara.
She stood to her feet, clearing her throat of the lumps that had formed "it was a delight seeing you Lord Sawyer" lies, all lies. Pretty, pretty lies "but I must be going, if you excuse me"
She turns around, making rushed steps for the door. Even getting up before being dismissed was a very disrespectful move, but it was the most respectful she could possibly be at the moment. She had endured enough, been quiet too long to have to sit in front of a man who dared to defile her and smile.