Chapter 19 The Wall
"She's still not eating your Highness" Faye informed me, her voice quiet as she gazed into my dull eyes.
I sighed deeply, running a hand through my loose curls, "Has she spoken to you?" I asked, my chest tightening with the answer already in mind but I dreaded it.
"No your majesty, she just cries all day"
I knew that more than anyone. I heard the echoes of her cries from outside her door. It took every fiber and every ounce of self control not to break the door down and go to her aid, she was sad, depressed and hopeless all because of me. If it was possible to hate myself more than ever I didn't know, but now I know I have never hated myself more than I do now.
I'm a selfish being, the root cause of my mates grief. I was the last thing on earth she wanted to see at the moment and I couldn't blame her. Phoenix didn't understand her feelings of hopelessness and resentment towards us, he still wanted her close no matter what. At night her scent would be so strong I couldn't stand being so far away from her so I settled at her door frame, crying as she cried, one soul, interwoven by faith, separated into two bodies by nature, crying with the same aching heart.
Her pain was my pain, her tears my own, her sadness all mine. I could feel it all, from the sharp shards of her broken spirit that pierced and tore her into shreds to the greedy hands of grief that pulled her into his deceptive embrace every single night.
Phoenix wanted to be with her, Audrey, our mate. He wanted us to hold her in our calloused arms, gently stroking the soft skin of her cheeks as we stared captivated by her scent and effortless beauty. He still could not get over the pain, the hurt that soured through his soul at her words.
She had asked- no pleaded with us to send her away from us. She was almost begging to be away from us and I could see the fear she had for us in her eyes, he could see it too, I'm sure mother could too.
Under her brightly lit rays Audrey uttered the words that shattered my heart into little pieces. She wanted to leave us. At that moment something in me snapped. An overwhelming urge to hold her tight to my chest and lock her up where she could never leave me, took over every rational thought in my head. The moment I confessed our mate bond it seemed like the Moon's smile dimmed, as did her soft light.
She shoved me away, her hands shaky and her eyes wide in shock and fear. I stumbled back, not far enough. I was able to feel the pain that shot through my chest at the words of rejection that spilled out of her lips. I could feel Phoenix threatening to rip out, take Audrey all to ourselves and show her she needed no one else.
I could feel my consciousness being pulled to the back of my mind but I resisted, replying every single sentence she made with as much honesty as I could muster. I tried not to take her words to heart seeing as she was still disoriented but her words cut through me like the sharpest of knives.
I had sustained thousands of wounds, cuts, even the scars on my body were a testimony of the agony that resided throughout my lifetime but this, this hurt more than any wound or bruise I had ever attained.
I couldn't control the whimper that left my throat as I could see Phoenix sit up, his lips trembling and his eyes a mix of sadness and a deep longing, one that I knew all too well.
A sharp pain shot through my stomach, drawing me out of my reverie. Immediately I knew who it was "Audrey" I called out, standing abruptly from my seat. Faye stared at me questionably, waiting for me to explain the reason for my outburst but the look of realization crossed her features when I ran out of the room, my mind on one thing and one thing only, Audrey.
I ran through the halls, passing every guard and maid in a matter of moments. Withing a few seconds I was at her door. Her scent wanted up my nostrils, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I stopped, letting myself bask in her intoxicating aura. As I pushed open the double doors the strong scent of sadness and.. Blood!?
In a split second I was behind her, rubbing calming circles on her back as she emptied her stomach into the toilet. Seeing her again after so many days was so much for me I couldn't utter a word but stare at her. She didn't need me to say anything, I just needed to be there to hold onto her and that was exactly what I was going to do. Phoenix was loosing it the more she threw up blood into the toilet and I had to hold myself from panicking right now. Holding her hair up I could feel her muscles tense before they relaxed against my touch.
She only just realised I was here. She fell back limp and I picked her up, preventing her collision with the ground. She felt light, weightless and it broke my heart. I stared down at her face, the dark circles and her sunken cheeks telling tales of her time spent behind those doors. Her pale skin looked almost ashen, but I didn't mind. Phoenix kept whimpering at the back of my mind as he circles restlessly. We could tell she was dying, something was very wrong.
Walking carefully to her bed I lay her down softly, careful to keep my weight off her as much as possible. Her dark orbs met mine, causing me to inhale sharply at their almost empty look.
We did this, Phoenix whispered, dread dripping off his words.
I watched as her eyes lids began closing slowly as she welcomed slumber for what I could tell would be their first encounter in days. My skin itched, my finger tips shaking as I brought my hand up to her cheek.
I slowly stroked her soft skin, Phoenix taking over my sight as I walked to the back of my mind to give him the chance to touch her one last time. It would be his last in a while. We had unfinished business to attend to.
"Paenitet parum catulus" he softly murmured to her and like a lullaby it drew her eyes shut