Chapter 22 Damned if you do. Damned if you don't

Chapter 22 Damned if you do. Damned if you don't
The days settled into a routine, one indistinguishable from the next. Dane fixed breakfast, then handcuffed her to the bed----a stark reminder that she was his prisoner. He stayed gone most of the day, never mentioning what he did or where he went. After the first week, she quit asking. The second week was harder.
The notebook Dane gave her was filled with half-finished jewelry sketches. Uncertainty prevented her from completing most of them, but that didn't stop her from picking up the notebook daily to battle the nerve-wracking boredom.
Her thoughts remained a perpetual loop of brooding over the future and reliving the past. Did her family realize she'd been abducted yet? Did anyone even suspect she was missing?

She thought over Dane's warning about keeping her identity secret. Once the press learned that John Monroe's daughter had been kidnapped, it would make headlines, and Bogen would know who she was. Despite his promises to protect her, could Dane really keep her safe if Bogen ordered her killed?
Thankfully, she hadn't had any contact with any of the other gang members since that first day, except in her recurring nightmares. Still, she worried every time Dane left that he might not return. What would happen to her then?
Every day that he handcuffed her to the bed was one more day she stayed alive. Had she been in anyone else's keeping, she didn't believe that would be true. And he went out of his way to see to her comfort. Left her extra pillows, wrapped a cloth around her wrists to avoid chafing. Too bad he didn't leave the key.

More and more, she wondered what kind of person Dane really was and how he had come to be involved with Bogen. She found him to be an enigma. He didn't seem to fit the mold of an outlaw. There was no denying the physical attraction that existed between them. An attraction that seemed to flourish with the closeness of her captivity. He was her sole contact with the outside world, and she was dependent on him for virtually everything.
One night after supper, when she thought she would go crazy from not knowing about her family, Tessa brought up the subject. The sun was fading, and Dane was sitting outside on the porch steps.
"Do you know if my family is looking for me?"
The forlorn note in her voice tore at Dane's gut. He'd talked to Barry two days ago. The Monroe family had not filed a missing person's report and was not expected to. Even though she'd been with him two weeks now, her family wouldn't expect her back for several more. Barry decided not to jeopardize the situation by contacting her family and risking a leak to the press.

With Matt Michaels's disappearance, the situation had become more volatile. Foul play was strongly suspected, and Dane could not risk exposing himself by asking questions about Matt in Jordan or the other surrounding towns. Doing nothing frustrated him. Every day, the trail to clues behind Matt's disappearance grew colder. And Dane knew Barry was equally frustrated.
The only good news was that Sanchez seemed ready to leave his Canadian stronghold. Barry anticipated making arrests soon, and then this house of cards would fall. In the meantime, Dane's primary objective was to make sure Tessa remained safe.
"I haven't heard anything," Dane finally replied. "But news travels slow in this part of the country."
Tessa's shoulders fell as she struggled against tears of self-pity. She supposed she should be grateful her situation hadn't been jeopardized by public knowledge of her abduction. But that wasn't much comfort. She wanted to be free. Now.

"I wonder if I'll ever see them again," she whispered.
Not for the first time, he wished he could tell her everything. Except that changed nothing. The cold, hard fact remained that if Bogen learned about Dane's true identity, Dane was a dead man. He'd known that from the start. And Tessa would end up in a shallow grave beside him. After Bogen did God-knows-what to her. Bogen had a cruel streak as wide as his ass.
He stood, gruffly pulling her to her feet, eager to change the subject, hoping to lighten the mood. "If you want to take a walk, let's go."
Dusk yielded slowly to darkness as Dane and Tessa walked in silence. She was still no closer to knowing that much about Bogen's compound. On previous nights, they'd walked different paths through the woods, all of which seemed to circle back on each other and lead right back to his cabin.
She suspected the camp had originally designed that way to prevent little Scouts from getting lost. She also suspected that Dane purposefully selected this time of day to take her outside. In the growing darkness, the paths appeared similar, which made it even more difficult to memorize.

Still, it felt good to be out and moving. A breeze rustled through the leaves, causing her to wrap her arms around herself. She walked without watching her surroundings and was startled when Dane suddenly pulled her off the path and under the spreading branches of a weeping willow. Sliding a hand gently across her mouth, he whispered, "shhhhhh," and pointed over her shoulder.
A short distance ahead, a doe and her twin fawns meandered along the path, spending the last quiet moments of dusk foraging. Dipping its head beneath its mother's belly, one fawn nursed, oblivious to its audience. Tessa held her breath, enthralled by the sight. By the time the animals wandered off, she had a cramp in her neck from staying so still.
Encircled by his arms, she turned, looking up at him. "They were so beautiful. And so close."
Her words echoed his thoughts. She was so beautiful. And so close. Time and circumstance ceased to exist as he lightly drew her against his chest.
If it was a sin to want someone so bad, then he was damned. He ached with the rawness of desire, searching her eyes for a reason to stop...... and finding none.

His mouth closed over hers, tentative at first, growing bolder when he met no resistance. He whispered her name, drawing her completely into his embrace. His fingers slid into her hair, pressing her scalp, holding her still as his tongue dove deeper.
Tessa's arms found their way around his neck, her hands tugging at the thick silk of his long hair as she pushed up on her tiptoes, opening to his kiss, lowering her guard. She felt his hands move down, inching slowly beneath her jacket. His fingers skimmed her ribs. With exquisite tenderness, he grazed the undersides of her breasts through her clothes, his knuckles sensitizing the skin. For a moment, she imagined his hands on her bare flesh, his fingers on her breasts. Her nipples hardened, and her breathing was suddenly difficult. She flexed her hands, rubbing his neck.
"I want you, Tessa." He groaned, pressing forward, letting her feel the proof of his arousal, desperately wishing she'd caress him there.

Waves of uncertain delight battered her, making it hard to think. His low growl sent goosebumps zinging up her spine. She had already tugged his t-shirt free---when?---and edged her fingers into the waistband of his jeans, fidgeting with the top button. Seeking.
The thought that she wanted to touch him intimately shocked Tessa. She couldn't deny that his kiss was exciting. That she craved his touch. That she wanted more.....
Dear God, what was she doing? She pushed away, confused by her reaction, afraid of how he'd interpret her response. She felt her face flame with embarrassment, glad for the cover of darkness. Why had she let him kiss her? Why had she touched him?
And worse, how could she enjoy it?

For a long moment, the only sound she heard was the sound of their breathing. Heavy. Hot. Unsatisfied. Then Dane reached for her hand, drawing it in his mouth. Ever so gently, he pressed a kiss to her open palm and closed her fingers over it.
"There's no denying that something is brewing between us, Tessa. But I want you to know that you will always be safe with me."
Tessa snapped her hand back, grasping for anger to conceal the raw ache that was burning inside of her. "Safe? You expect me to believe that? There's nothing between us, Dane. I'm your prisoner. Period."
Dane watched her walk away, toward the cabin, and gave her space. She was lying to herself. She wanted him. He knew it just as much as he knew he wanted her. The problem was, she knew he knew now. And under the circumstances, that bothered her.