Chapter Twelve

“Why are you standoffish with men?”

The question pulled Oakley from her musings as Tanner drove them back home from the Y. She glanced over, met his eyes then looked down. Although she’d realized this would come up at some point, she still preferred to avoid such a painful explanation. No pain, no gain.

She took a deep breath, focusing on the road ahead. “I had a roommate my freshman year in college—Sarah. She was the most shy girl I’d ever seen when it came to men. She rarely spoke to guys and stammered when she tried. I wanted to help her.”

“And?” Tanner prodded when she lapsed into silence.

“There was a guy in my math class. He had an outgoing personality but seemed down to earth and nice, not really popular or into frats that I knew of. Matt was his name. I thought he might be a good guy for Sarah to date, helping to build her confidence with men. She liked him from a distance, so I set up a date between them.”

“I take it something happened?”

Oakley nodded. “She came home from her date, clothes dirty and ripped, crying hysterically. I realized what must have happened, called security, took her to the nearest emergency room, and called her parents.”

“The guy…”

“Matt date-raped her. The first date of her life, with a guy I set her up with.” She lowered her gaze. “Sarah was completely traumatized. Her parents removed her from school and took her home. I kept up with her for a few months before she quit replying to my communications. I couldn’t forgive myself for setting her up with a rapist.”

Tanner eased the SUV into the parking spot in front of their condo and turned off the engine. After turning, he reached out to cup her chin, lifting until she met his eyes. “First off, no one knew under his deceitful exterior there lay an evil monster. Secondly, he would have raped anyone, given the opportunity.”

“The opportunity I provided.” Oakley met his gaze without flinching. The guilt had eased over time, but she’d learned to stand up, take responsibility, and work that much harder to improve.

“You’re just as much a victim in this as she was.”

Perplexed, she tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. “How do you see that?”

He cupped her cheek, tenderly caressing with his thumb. “You carry the guilt and an innate wariness of men.”

She blinked at his spot-on analysis. “Yes.” Trying to hide her flaws rarely worked with ordinary people. Tanner’s keen observation skills and understanding of body language would catch her every time.

“Damn. Considering what you’ve been through, it’s amazing you aren’t digging for your pepper spray to use on me.”

“I saw a counselor for a while. Someone who understood what I had been through. She helped me a lot.” She dared not delve too deeply into whom for fear the cat would escape the bag on her plans to get Tanner to talk to Dr Miller.

“Rapist bastards have no place on this earth,” Tanner growled before his tone eased. “Can you be with a man?”

Oakley grinned at his odd wording and sudden change in direction. “Well, I intend to find out when a certain Marine woos me and convinces me he just might stick around for a bit because he enjoys my company and wants to be with me.”

The expression on Tanner’s face amused her, like a mixture of fear, surprise, and sensual wanting battling to win out.

He slowly grinned. “I think I’m up to the task.” He sealed the deal with a light brushing of his lips over hers.

“Good. I have high expectations, you know,” she teased, trying to lighten the moment.

He arched an eyebrow.

“I’m an avid reader of romance novels, you see.”

Tanner groaned dramatically, leaning back in his driver’s seat. “I should have known.” His lips twitched. “Do I need to read a couple, just in case, so I won’t fall short?”

Oakley glanced up from under her eyelashes. “Oh, from what I felt earlier, long seems like a much better description than short.”

Tanner burst out laughing. “With that kind of talk, we’ll be playing show and tell before nightfall.”

“Hmmmm.” She pretended to consider the possibility.

“Come on, minx.” Tanner gestured toward her door. “Your dog needs to pee.”

“Spoilsport.”

He snorted. “A man needs time to prepare for such great expectations from his lady.”

“I’m your lady?”

He just grinned and slid out of the vehicle.

Tanner watched Oakley stride to her door, unlock it, and greet Hercules. She grabbed the dog’s collar and led him around the corner, presumably to do his business near the woods.

The distasteful details of her past rattled him. More than once during her story, he had thanked the powers that be that she wasn’t the one raped while stifling his instant fury and intense wish to track down the rapist and send him personally to hell.

Yet, for all the trauma she had suffered out of the incident, she handled herself rather well. I saw a counselor. The words replayed through his mind. He gave her credit for seeking help and muscling up to deal with her self-reproach. From what he saw, she lived a normal life. Maybe she didn’t date and sidestepped intimacy for the moment, but many others would have ostracized themselves from typical college society after seeing what had happened to her roommate. The fact she responded to his kisses and even considered a full-fledged relationship with him still astounded and humbled him.

Guilt. She dealt with that nasty emotion much better than he. Somehow, she managed to overcome the intensity, the mind-numbing feelings that struck every now and again, taking over everyday life.

Someone who understands what I have been through.

A stigma still existed for Marines who sought psychological help, one he hoped lessened each year. Pride and stubbornness. That’s what prevented him from looking to another for advice on how to handle those nightmares, the blameworthiness, the need to push himself to exhaustion to prove he was worthy of living while others had died in the line of battle just steps away. He hated to admit that vulnerability.

He thought about Oakley once more. Perhaps for her, he could give a relationship a try. All those previous women had simply been a means to wind down, to have fun, to pass the time. None of them had stuck to him like a burr as Oakley did. Her green eyes dipped into his soul, teased him into joining her amusement and made him feel like a real man, a complete man. She looked at him with wonder and, more importantly, trust. If she could overcome her issues to be with him, he could do no less.

He would do this for her. And somewhere deep down, where no one would know, he could admit he also wanted to do it for himself. Maybe not a shrink, not just yet. But there was someone else…

After letting himself in his side of the condo, Tanner shut the door and sat down at the kitchen table. He pulled out his phone along with a slip of paper. After staring at the number for a long moment, he bit the bullet and punched in the numbers. “It’s Tanner Owens. Can we talk?”

Oakley ushered Hercules back into the house, somewhat surprised when she didn’t see Tanner waiting for them. Curiosity got the better of her as she headed to his front door. Just as she raised her hand to knock, the door opened.

“Oh.” She recovered quickly. “I wondered where you wandered off to.”

He smiled down at her. “Missing me already. That’s a good sign.”

The spark in his eyes and boyish grin sent a shiver down her spine. When she had become a needy bundle of feminine nerves, she didn’t know. With effort, she gathered up her wits and forced them into gear. No sense turning into a pile of mush because the sex on a stick Tanner gave her a decadent look. As powerful as his charms were, she couldn’t afford to lose her self-identity in the process.

She rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. So, what are your plans?”

“I’ve got to meet someone in a few minutes. Not sure when I’ll be back, but hopefully sometime this evening.”

Disappointment surged through her, but she beat it back down. The man had earned some down time, and she couldn’t expect him to spend every free minute entertaining her. Besides, he probably had errands and chores to complete before his next mission pulled him away for who knew how long. “That’s okay. I need to do some computer work. Finals are next week and I need to be caught up so I can post grades quickly for the students.” That certainly was the truth. If she didn’t spend time now catching up on her work, she would be up late again, diligently answering emails, checking to make sure assignments were complete and turned in, and preparing the students for their test.

Tanner leaned down and tipped her chin up for a kiss. “Don’t work too hard. I would hate for you to be too fatigued to enjoy my seduction.”

She shook her head, already becoming accustomed to and enjoying his teasing manner with her. For a man who obviously saw the worst of humanity, he radiated goodness, a quirky sense of humor, and more than ample self-confidence. All those traits only endeared him to her further. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Yep.”

With that said, he lumbered off to his SUV.